First Time Disaster - Then Success.

Yes, I have resumed my weekly rendezvous with the staff at our local Starbucks Coffee on a Saturday morning after several months of abstinence due to the Covid-19 closure. And afterwards, as I was walking home, staring at the ground ahead whilst pondering on what I shall write about this week, an elderly gentleman approached, heading for the superstore where the coffee house is annexed. 

Excuse me, he asked, stopping me in my tracks, But are you the one who had organised all these Triathlons in Bracknell, years ago?

"Yes, I am the one."

His face lit up at my confirmation. Your Triathlons were magnificent. You certainly have done a good job.

Through his thick facial hair, I thought I could remember him as one of the partakers as I thanked him for the compliment. Bracknell Triathlon? Indeed, I remember them, seven events in all, in a space of six years between 1987 and 1992. We even experimented with staging two events in 1990 but proved to be too much. Hence we resumed with just one event a year. It was enough.

But what is a triathlon anyway and how did I become involved?

It all started with three athletes sitting in a bar in Hawaii back in 1977, the same year I took my first-ever transatlantic flight from London to Toronto. In that bar, a discussion was taking place. Which athlete could be credited with the greater fitness - a swimmer, a cyclist or a runner? The discussion was inconclusive, so one of them, a US naval officer John Collins, thought up the idea of stringing all three together into one event - an ultimate endurance race consisting of the 2.4-mile Waikiki Rough Water Swim, the 112-mile Around Oahu bike race, and the Honolulu Marathon. These three annual events were already in existence at the Hawaiian Archipelago, and therefore familiar to everyone. Thus, later at a banquet, where such an event was proposed, so it was said, everyone present rolled on the floor in complete laughter! 

However, Collins and his mates organised the first multi-disciplined event with fifteen competitors. At 07.19 on February 18th, 1978, they plunged into the ocean surf at Waikiki. Nearly twelve hours later, a 27-year old naval officer Gordon Haller was the first to cross the finish line. He received an odd-looking home-made trophy consisting of pipes welded together. Thus, history was made with the first Ironman.*

The fame of the event exploded across the USA and over the next few years, the scaled-down version of the Triathlon became known worldwide. Back then, the sport competed with a high level of camaraderie. Sedate people including balding men, doctors, students, housewives, office and manual workers who had never competed in any other sport "caught the bug" as they all challenged themselves on how far they can endure such a bizarre race. Even a veteran in his seventies was seen on his heavy roadster, complete with mudguards and with a wicker shopping basket fixed to his handlebars.

In the meantime, throughout the mid-eighties, I was running half-marathons to raise funds for a League of Friends charity. It was in 1986, after completing one half-marathon, when someone approached with a suggestion on why not try my hand at a triathlon. There was one to be held at Wokingham, the next town on the map to ours. Therefore I entered and competed. Immediately I was hooked. I then joined Thames Valley Triathletes, the triathlon club based in Reading, which had organised the Wokingham event specifically to attract new members.

After this, I competed at various locations. Due to their early morning swim start, many venues requiring an overnight stay at a hotel - Winchester, Swanage, Eastbourne, East Grinstead, Romford, Upminster, Farnham, Newbury, among others. It was while at an event in Winchester, with my brain on full alert as well as in physical endurance, that I had a vision. How is this triathlon funded? Through competitor's entry fees (although Winchester also had a sponsor) and there was no triathlon event for Bracknell. Suddenly, with God's help, nothing seems impossible.

So after consulting my friends, all members of what was then Bracknell Saints Football Club, I shared my vision, which was received by some but held in doubt by others. However, the biggest obstacle I had to overcome was to convince the Leisure Centre management team for the hiring of the swimming pool and to enlighten them about this new sport, using part of the Bracknell Half Marathon route. At first, I was refused point-blank. Then after persistent negotiation, they gave me just one lane of the pool. Eventually, I managed to agree with them for full hire of the pool at a set date, and after that everything else fell into place.**

That is - until we had to ask people to volunteer as course marshals, a role which I eventually found out, was a very undesirable responsibility, especially so early on a Saturday morning! - And that despite I have marshalled events in Reading several times already. I asked my brothers in Christ at my former church for their help. No one agreed. One family man, who I thought was a good mate, squared up to me and in my face, quite aloud, said No!

This has always been an interesting phenomenon - why this refusal, even edging towards anger for daring to approach them with such a request? Is it because of me? A labourer who has never seen inside a university or had never risen to prominence? It was exactly this which has tested my devotion to them as brothers to the limit. Had a famous celebrity approached them with the same request, then how would they have responded? With greater favour?

A souvenir for a willing Marshal

We eventually approached a secular charity, whose members were willing to marshal. On our first event in 1987, too few turned up, leaving both the cycling and running routes unmanned. Furthermore, late-night hooligans tore off our direction arrows from their place, leaving both the cyclists and runners in doubt which direction to take, with even some failing to finish. Our maiden event was a disaster! After everyone had gone home, we packed away and afterwards, sauntered home in an emotionally heavy state.

Feeling crushed, beaten, defeated, I lay on the single bed in my apartment, looking up at the ceiling. Should I give up? Maybe those Christians were right, after all. Especially the Elders, who knew how to put me in my place. Of course, I will fail! If they said that I wasn't capable of such responsibility, then I wasn't capable. End of. Indeed, modern Christianity looks to be a religion for graduates. Fail at school and I'll never hit the mark. How the heck did those eleven disciples of Jesus Christ, after His Resurrection and Ascension, manage to turn the world upside down without a degree among them? And that after the company treasurer, the cleverest in the group, top himself? 

Suddenly, I arose from my bed and headed for the phone. No, no mobiles back then. To make a phone call, I had to lift my butt from the comfort of the bed. I contacted two of my mates who were living together. I told them that next year's event was ON! We aren't giving up. Suddenly, all my negative feelings fell away like scales from St Paul's eyes, and I was able to look ahead with determination.

And they all happened, all further six of them. We redesigned the two courses to make them simpler, we made sure all our direction arrows were well above the reach of anyone without a stepladder, and we contacted secular charities to marshal our routes. With the promise of a souvenir for their efforts, a greater number volunteered, manning our routes efficiently, and the acquirement of a walkie-talkie made our roving marshals' task a lot easier. On the day a couple of stalls arrived and were set up, so competitors can make a last-minute purchase, including crash hat hire. We also hired a commentary caravan from a firm in Camberley, and the announcements over the loudspeakers gave the whole event an air of professionalism - on the par with any international championship triathlon.

And we were happy because the competitors were also happy, having given us a second chance after the disaster of the first. Also, the numbers grew year by year until were squeezed by the turnout. Thanks to the British Triathlon Association, to which affiliation is mandatory, our event became known right across the nation, and further on as far as the USA and Australia.

Indeed, I wanted to glorify God and give Him the credit for our success. It's nice to know that if God is for us, who can be against us?

This is a kind of story I have heard about before, especially with starting up missionaries. Tales of initial failures before rising to success had made fascinating testimonies, namely, that the natural reliance on our own strength or merit need to be replaced with a dependency on God. Moses was a classic case. He grew up with a knowledge that he will deliver the Hebrews from Egyptian slavery. He tried his own way first. He killed an Egyptian guard who was assaulting a fellow Hebrew. As a result, he spent forty years as a fugitive in the desert after he was rejected by his own fellowmen.

So bitter did Moses feel towards his countrymen that in order to be convinced, God had to appear as a flaming bush and then the need to persuade him to return to Egypt with the rod of God's power. However, even after God's revelation from the bush, Moses' continual bitterness and stubbornness against the Hebrews had very nearly cost him his life had his wife not acted quickly enough.

David was another failure after receiving the promise of the kingdom. He was spectacularly successful in defeating Goliath, and soon afterwards the Hebrew women were singing a song of victory, and declared David as the rightful king, much to King Saul's anger which was behind the younger man fleeing to a cave and living in seclusion for the next twenty years. It was during those years when the prince had to learn the reality of dependency over his pride in his battle skills.

With this present Coronavirus crisis, it would be easy to be tempted to ask where is God in all this? The latest news to reach us is about a total lockdown in Wales, with just one man, Labour Mark Drakeford, ordering all prohibition of buying non-essentials, and therefore Tesco and other superstores in Wales have literally covered all their hardware stalls with plastic sheeting. That means you can buy alcohol but not a bedsheet or a quilt. You can buy a chocolate Santa but not a saucepan or a spare woolly for the coming winter. The element in your kettle has blown? Or even your washing machine has broken down beyond repair? Then better to boil water in a saucepan or wash your clothes by hand.

Not used to any of that? Well at least, during my bachelor days, I have done plenty of both. However, if you're unfortunate enough to let all the water boil away and burn a hole at the bottom of the saucepan - like my Mum once did when she was young - well, you can try Sellotaping over the hole. No good? Well, you can always depend on good old Santa. After all, Christmas is not far away, is it? Wait! You have already eaten him! No presents for the kids this year, as toys, games and computers are non-essentials.

Hence the crushing absurdity this hysteria over the virus and how it has overtaken the Welsh. At this moment we are living in the medium zone. The only restrictions are that pubs must close by ten in the evening and there must be no more than six coming together. Not to forget social distancing and the wearing of facemasks - which makes me think - if the rate of infection is rising that fast, then, is the facemask working? After all, when I enter a shop, bus, train or any other public venue, I hardly see anyone without a mask. Then why this rise of cases? And now, like some alien weed creeping and crawling towards us, I wouldn't be at all surprised if this third stage lockdown begins to cover our area.

Yes, our first triathlon was a failure. But not those which followed, year by year. But even our failure pales to insufficiency when compared to those we call our leaders. 

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*Alek Hunter & Erik Kirschbaum - Swim+Bike+Run: Triathlon the Sporting Trinity, 1985, George Allen and Unwin publishers.

**You can delve into the full details on how I came about in organising the Bracknell Triathlon under the title, Alan Sugar at the Kerith? by clicking here.

Forgiving - For MY Benefit!

I think it was around 1991 or 1992 when this very good-looking, slim fellow arrived at our church in Ascot. The timing of his arrival is based on the fact that my 1994 stint in Israel hadn't yet occurred, let alone the 1995-1998 long haul backpacking trips which were still to come. Estimating to be around 6'2" or 6'3" 1.88 metres tall, he towers over my own healthy 5'11" 1.80 m height. Sporting a moustache, this young man, whose name turned out to be John, has a wife and at that time, two pre-teenage sons. At our first meeting, John and I had hit it off well, and I became acquainted with the whole family, even to the extent that John invited me, while I was still single in those days, to his home for Sunday lunch after the morning service.

John is a few years younger than I am, but well ahead of me with his marriage responsibilities and raising of a family. After dinner, the table was set for a family quiz-based board game which was similar in style to Trivial Pursuit. Some time later, I sat at another table with the two boys, each of us contributing towards the completion of a jigsaw puzzle. The serenity created in the atmosphere whilst each piece was fitted into place had earned praise from the wife by commenting that I was good with children. He became a member of the church's music team with his trumpet or similar brass instrument until he left our church in 2006 or 2007 for a period of time before returning in 2012.

But before leaving our church, John and I were good friends. By then I was married to my dearest Alex, and we already have our firstborn two-year-old daughter Rosina, and another was on its way, when at a house-group meeting, I made a confession of financial hardship due to various difficulties arising in my domestic window cleaning business, particularly with delays among clientele paying their fees. It was John who pulled out a sum of money which turned out to be a great help in making ends meet until all my customers paid up. And that sum of money was a gift and not a loan. This was another gesture I have not allowed myself to forget.

Alex's second pregnancy with Louise progressed well - until one early Spring morning in 2004, whilst relaxing in the sauna after a tiring week's work, a staff member informed me that I had to return home straight away. When I got home, I found that Alex had gone into early labour. I called for an ambulance and also contacted my in-laws, who offered to take care of our daughter Rosina. What followed was an admission into the labour ward of Royal Berkshire Hospital to await the birth. 

The rest of the day turned into evening, and then into the night. I sat on a chair beside my wife's bed. Nothing happened, except the constant rapid beating of the fetus' heart amplified through a monitor, with which I tried to imagine as being on board a Ferrovie di Italia train as it travelled fast along the Paris-Dijon section of line towards Italy, as I recall such a journey made so clearly in 1973. This imaginary metamorphosing of the fetus heartbeat to that of a moving train helped me through a tense, sleepless night. By daybreak, Alex was transferred to a prenatal ward, where I stayed with her until evening. Then, as night drew in and there seems to be no further progress towards delivery, I decided to get a train home for a night's rest.

By eleven at night I was stripped naked when the phone rang. It was from the labour ward with the news that Alex was about to deliver. I almost panicked. There were no more trains into Reading at this time of the night. And even if there were, the journey back would be far too slow for such an emergency situation. So I made a phone call to John and explained to him the situation. In next to no time he knocked on my door. His wife waited in the car as we began to set off to the maternity block some twelve miles away. The journey was fast as we all sensed the hurry. When John drove up to the drop-off point, we said a simple prayer and I then jumped out of his car and made a dash to the entrance of the building and ran up the stairs to the labour ward. No fuel fees were asked as the couple made their way back home.

My daughter was born just ten minutes later at 11.50 pm. Had it not been for John, I would have missed the birth of Louise and therefore scuppering our birth plans we made weeks earlier. The wonderful favour John and his wife did for us on that night is forever etched on my mind. Furthermore, after the birth, John would collect me for a weekly trip to a local pub, where we had deep discussions on just about anything to do with family upbringing and theology. It was during these pub socials that I discovered how his Arminian stance on a person's salvation disagrees with my Calvinistic view of the believer's Eternal Security.

And so after John returned to our church after his exile, he returned minus his moustache and with a very different attitude towards me. Having gained weight, he is to this day rather imposing. Being taller than me, he could - quite literally - knock me out cold. And so at a men's Curry Club one evening a couple of years ago, he growled at me when I tried to sit next to him. Scary stuff. His hostility towards me has been on-going to this day. I felt cornered whenever he is around. Until last Saturday.

The Kerith Centre at Bracknell holds a Band of Brothers meeting for all men in that church. A very good post-graduate friend of mine who holds a doctorate in genetics and is a regular at the Kerith, is a direct link between the Band of Brothers group and myself, an outsider, allowing me to attend such meetings whenever it takes place, which is usually three times a year. Last week, the topic was about forgiveness, and even after four decades of being a Christian believer, the preach was an eye-opener. Something I had never realised before then!

Because up to then, I cannot see any benefit the wrongdoer would receive if I forgave him long after he had moved away, or after he died. The issue behind such wrongdoing remains forever unsolved, and if ever the perpetrator have thoughts about me, or memories of me, it will always be felt with a degree of hostility. So why forgive? He would never have the chance to apologise nor would he nurture any positive feelings for me. And the grave would cement the hostile issue forever.

But the preach centred on forgiving someone does not benefit the wrongdoer or perpetrator. Rather it would benefit me. I'm the one who would benefit, not the perpetrator. After this we were all challenged to close our eyes and think of anyone who had wronged in the past, and forgive him, her, or them. As the room fell into silence, I began to think. Then I remembered John. But how could I forgive him? The dispute between us is ongoing. Then I began to recall those good times we had together - the money given during hard times, the late night lift to hospital, the pub socials. With such good memories, to forgive John was made a lot easier, believe me. To forgive him means to have no ill-feeling for him whatsoever. Rather, my hand of friendship is extended. It's now up to him to take hold of it.

Such an eye-opener immediately reminds me of a passage of Scripture that I have been familiar with for years, but I had never applied it to my own sake. Here it what it says:

Therefore say to the house of Israel, "This is what the Sovereign LORD says: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do those things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone."

Ezekiel 36:22.

Then the passage continues on about removing the heart of stone from their flesh and giving them a heart of flesh, and filling them with his Spirit, so that they will all follow my decrees and keep my laws out of love for God, and not by fear of punishment. Also Psalm 106:8 says that we are saved for his sake rather than ours. If the honour for his name lies behind our salvation, then this seems to endorse the truth of Eternal Security. But I can understand from where the Arminian get his ideas from. For example, when Jesus taught his disciples how to pray, as recorded in Matthew 6:9-13, he included the phrase, forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. He then embellished on this particular issue by saying that whether the Father will forgive your sins is dependent on whether you will forgive anyone who has wronged you (Matthew 6:14-15).

Also another powerful lesson on forgiveness delivered by Jesus to his disciples is found in Matthew 18:21-35, which is the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. Then after telling this fascinating story, it is given the final conclusion that this is the way the Father will treat everyone who does not forgive his brother from his heart. The average Arminian will most likely use this as an answer on whether a Christian can lose his salvation or not. Simply put, if you don't forgive your brother's sins, then God won't forgive you of your sins. However, since this was spoken before the Atonement was made on the Cross, for the believer at present, in regards to the afterlife, this presents some problems.

First of all, the believer's salvation depending on how he is treating his fellow believer is a contradiction to being forgiven for God's sake and for his name to be honoured. Instead, the mercy bestowed is entirely grounded on the recipient's heart attitude. Secondly, as I can see, in the parable the servant's debt, and a very large debt at that, remains unpaid. Instead, it is cancelled. This is very different from being paid off by someone else substituting for the servant. If the debt remains unpaid, then justice has not been fulfilled. The master can call his servant back in at any time to reckon his account and demand the money back. And at the end that is exactly what the master does. But if someone pays the entire debt on the servant's behalf, then he is truly free from debt. The master has his money and nothing else is owing to him. The servant is free indeed. 

Left to ourselves, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to forgive someone from the heart. Even worse if during a lifetime there are many sources for grievance. If God's mercy depends on our performance in forgiving others, then everyone is in some kind of trouble, whether small or great. Heaven would be empty of people. That's why, I believe, Jesus gave this parable. To show that we are all indebted to God and unless someone steps in to pay off our debts on our behalf, we'll all be in big trouble.

But having said that, the parable does have a purpose for today's Christians, as does the Lord's Prayer. Because to forgive someone is very beneficial to both mental and physical health. This could be the intent on why the unmerciful servant was thrown into jail whilst still alive here on Earth instead of at some postmortem hellish confinement. Forgiving or not forgiving will affect our well-being. According to Dr. McMillen,* there are many diseases and poor health resulting from ongoing anger, bitterness and resentment. Refusing to forgive, according to this Christian medic, destroys one's health, and this could be one of the main reasons why our National Health Service is under strain, as reported daily on the Media. If the doctor was correct in his estimation, the lack of bed space within hospitals is not so much of an increase of the ageing population as the large numbers of bitter and resentful hearts. 

For a Christian believer refusing to forgive a transgressor, this carries the risk of debilitating health resulting from emotional stress arising from bitterness and anger. Also he cannot enjoy the fullness of God. True, he will still go to heaven after he dies. But often with the case of embittered Christians, they often experience a premature death, followed by the Judgement Seat of Christ, and to suffer the deprivation of rewards awarded to everyone who obeys the Holy Spirit living within. One near-striking example was the case of Moses. He was so embittered by the rejection thrown at him by his fellow Hebrews (Exodus 2:11-15), that even after forty years in the wilderness, he refuses to fulfil his Hebrew custom to circumcise his son Gershom (Exodus 4:24-26). The Lord was about to slay him, and to face the Judgement Seat, had his wife not quickly intervened. Such is the price for refusing to forgive.

For me to forgive John for any resentment and rejection he has for me will not benefit him. Instead, I'm forgiving him to benefit myself, and this is good advice for anyone who has been wronged and wishes to enjoy his walk with God. Forgive, and let go of the transgressor. 

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*S. I. McMillen MD None of these Diseases, Marshal, Morgan and Scott, 1963, 14th impression 1980.

A Child's Cry.

As our home is one of a block of fully-attached terraced houses, it is not unusual for noise from neighbours at either side to penetrate our rather thin walls. Only a couple of weeks ago we were disturbed by the thumping of drums issuing from the powerful high-fidelity music system owned by one of our neighbours. The continuous deep-bass thumping had not only irritated me, but vibrations can be literally felt in our lounge and Alex my wife started to suffer from headaches. This was enough for me having to handwrite a kind letter explaining the situation with a request to turn down the bass tone. Within minutes of posting the letter through their front door, all felt silent. Since then, only occasionally was I able to hear a much tinnier version of what they were playing next door, at a much more tolerable noise level.

However, our neighbour on the opposite side of us happen to run a private daycare business for young children of working mothers. Although quiet at weekends, lately we were both disturbed by an apparent new arrival - a child no more than two years old at a guess, and could be considerably younger. So for several mornings we could hear constant crying, the child screaming out,

Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!...

To hear such wailing can only bring distress. Although out of our sight, our imaginations are vivid with mental pictures of a helpless toddler sitting on the floor, a toy or an uneaten sandwich between his legs, loudly crying his eyes out whilst arms outstretched, longing for his mother's presence during whom she sits alone in her car, driving to her office to face another day. How helpless have I felt, how sad, how distressing. And I wonder how many times this sort of thing is repeated across the country, and particularly in the Home Counties, where we live.

The normal explanation given by mothers for this scenario is that she has to work, otherwise her husband's sole income would not be sufficient enough to support the home budget. Although in some cases this may indeed be true, I can't help feeling a degree of scepticism over their universal "must work or go broke" excuse. And this feeling of scepticism could apply even more here in the prosperous South of England. In this day of female academic success, the real reason why they feel that they "must work" is to pursue their career prospects. That covetous career ladder for which these past three years spent at university, along with the dizzyingly high college fee debt hanging over their heads, certainly makes the prospect of promotion worthy of pursuit, even to the cost of the child's emotional welfare.

So what I have read in the past,* the child's most important years of his life are the first five years spent at home with Mother. One striking example can be found in the early chapters of Exodus. In the second chapter we have a married couple, Amram (meaning the Exalted one) and his wife Jochebed (meaning God's glory). Having given birth to two children already, Aaron and Miriam, their third and youngest child was Moses, which by then the Egyptian Pharaoh had already decreed that all Hebrew boys born must be destroyed. To preserve his life, Jochabed had her son placed in a casket and left to float in the River Nile under the watchfulness of his older sister Miriam. Soon it was spotted by the daughter of Pharaoh, and offered to adopt him into the Royal family. However, Pharaoh's daughter needed a maid to wean him before adoption, and after Miriam approach with the offer, the infant was committed to his own mother to wean him.

This meant that as the lad began his life in Pharaoh's palace, he was taught all the wisdom of the Egyptians, the equivalent of a doctorate today. His was also groomed to be the future king of Egypt, and as such, the ruler of the whole known world. As his own Hebrew people sweated under their cruel taskmasters under the hot sunshine, Prince Moses was at his most comfortable ease, reclining in the softness of sofas in the palace. But he never forgot what his parents taught him during his sensitive infant years. He recalls sitting on his mother's lap day after day to be taught with affection about the God of the Hebrews, and of the Covenant made with his forefathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and how one of Jacob's sons, Joseph, who rescued both Egypt and his own family from starvation by a severe seven-year famine. He recalls his mother escorting the young boy outside, and made to watch his own people suffering under the taskmaster's whip, the groaning under heavy labour, and then turning to look up to his mother, only to watch her face crumple into tears.

"Look, Moses, these are your people, the Hebrews, slaving under the Egyptians's whip."
"Mummy, is Daddy among them, suffering with all the others?"
"Yes sweetheart. Daddy is suffering under the whip with all the rest." 

Jochabed lowers herself to the level of Moses' eyes, tears rolling down her beautiful cheeks.

"Please, my dear son, remember what you have seen today. You are a Hebrew, and these slaves are Hebrews, your fellow countrymen. Soon you must go to Pharaoh's palace. At the palace you will be adopted as an Egyptian and you will learn of their wisdom. But please promise me this."
"What promise, Mummy?"
"That as you grow up in the palace, promise never to forget who you are, who your family are, and who all these slaves are."
"I promise, Mummy."
"One day, sweetheart, you will lead your people out of this land to enter their own land. As I have already told you before, God has revealed this to both Daddy and me at the time you were born."
"I won't forget, Mummy."

As the Prince lounged at ease on the sofa, his head full of the wisdom of the Egyptians, memories of his mother's tutelage were revived, recalling that above conversation a few weeks after his fifth birthday. He also recalled how his mother sat him on her lap every day of his childhood, and with a loving, attentive attitude, taught him everything he needed to know, including his future leadership of his fellow Hebrews, even to the cost of the throne itself. This was the most important time for Moses. Mother and child spending time at home together. Something Moses had never forgotten throughout his life. It was his mother's tutelage which influenced her son's decision to identify himself as one of the Hebrews in expense of the fleeting pleasures of sin (Hebrews 11:24-25) as well as refusing identity as the son of Pharaoh's daughter, hence turning his back on the throne so he could suffer with God's people. Such was the mother's influence towards his young upbringing!

This story tells a great deal. From this I have come to the conclusion that it is a privilege for a mother to bring up her child in a godly manner at home, which to me, has far greater honour than seeking promotion at the office, especially as her toddler cries for her whilst in the hands of strangers. Then to add to this - if finance is the reason for the need to work away from home, then such a reason is weakened by the expense for childcare. It is easy to remember stories appearing in the Media about the income of working women almost swallowed up by childcare expenses. But for many, this is the sacrifice to pay for the chances of office promotion and ascending the career ladder. Then we wonder why these days many children grow up with poor performance at school, emotional imbalances, drug use often riddled with crime, frequent appearances in Court, and a high suicide rate. Such could be the end result of the quest for prominence at the workplace, which also creates a disdain for more menial tasks.

It was like when I was recovering from my heart operation over two years ago. During my three month convalescence period, I paid a visit to one of my window cleaning customers, she being a nurse. During conversation, I asked her whether there is any truth to the rumour that since nursing requires a university degree, many shun the profession, believing that the task of wiping an elderly patient's rear was beneath their academic status. The customer instantly recognised what I was talking about, and gave it a phrase: Too posh to wipe. And yes, she answered that this is one of several core problems with maintaining nursing staff, therefore the heavy reliance on immigrants, as my own experience in hospital can testify.

This obsession with the career ladder also makes me ponder whether that here in the UK alone, up to 200,000 elective abortions are carried annually. 200,000 abortions a year! That is around 548 terminations each day. And that is in Britain only. Mostly for the preservation of the work or social ethic? Really?  This was well dramatised earlier in the week in a series of the BBC soap, EastEnders, where one female character went for an abortion, which she kept secret from her boyfriend, in order not to ruin her chances for office promotion. When I consider these things - leaving a weeping child to the care of strangers, sacrificing part of income to pay for childcare costs, the terrifyingly high numbers of elective abortions - I have wondered whether allowing female students into universities was a wise idea. And I write this with the presupposition that every woman reading this would pick up stones in readiness.

This quest for knowledge and divine power. This strong force driving our hearts upwards at the cost of child upbringing at the tenderest age, along with a high rate of elective abortions, which is the killing of defenceless humans, whose silent scream when faced with extinction cannot be heard except by God alone. The crave for promotion, to rise from the ranks, to attain greater power. Tied in with all this is the desire on a national scale to leave the European Union in order to "have our own country back" with the proud, confident and optimistic hope for not mere survival, but to raise to its former imperial glory, to make Britain "the greatest in the world" free from ethnic and cultural diversity. The cry of "Hurry up, let's be out of there" (the EU) keeps on shouting across right-leaning newspapers, whose journalists are ready to stone anyone who dare oppose the move, dubbing such opposition as "Remoaners" - even "Remainiacs".

No, all this quest to leave the European Union is not so much for the benefit of the Economy, you understand, even if this is one the reasons used to promote Brexit. Rather, its for independent national glory and sovereignty. A reversal to an all-white, home-born, xenophobic Britain, deep in classism, head of the Commonwealth, just one step from being the motherland once again of a worldwide Empire. This bulldog, this massive bulldog, even wearing a tie made from a Union Jack flag, remains the icon of a strong Britain - a powerful force to be reckoned with.

And so we are endlessly fed with such fodder, day in, day out, when I turn the radio on at seven in the morning, whether I turn on the TV at six in the evening, this same, stomach-turning slop comes out of rather than goes into my ears.

No doubt it has all to do with the serpent in the Garden of Eden. In Genesis 3:4-6, we read (KJV):

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and the tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

If this is history rather than fable, then the serpent is very much alive and speaking to this day. The want for power, the quest for divinity, to rise from the ranks, to be someone, a man or woman of renown - isn't all this coming from the mouth of the snake? For the need to believe in Evolution, to evolve forever upward from a single cell amoeba to some superhuman deity with supernatural powers - isn't that the serpent talking? Or for the importance of knowledge above character? University knowledge, a degree, a doctorate, whilst confining the Scriptures to the realm of myth - serpent talking again? The wanting to climb the career ladder, to reach for the top? The bulldog spirit of national glory and sovereignty - without the need for God - snake talking again? I tend to think that the British bulldog is a spirit, an invisible entity in the air, a fellow fallen angel and assistant to the serpent, who is continually enticing our nation to stay away from the truth of the Gospel and replacing it with self confidence, pride and optimism, using Darwinism as its bedrock.

Frightened children left with strangers, the wailing cry of Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! heard through the wall and from the neighbouring back garden, the rivers of flowing tears, the number of abortions and silent screams reaching well into the thousands, much if not all, to climb the career ladder to power just as the snake had promised to Adam and Eve. Added to all that is the collective aspiration for national glory, strength and supremacy.

Contrary to myth and folklore, the serpent is very much alive and talking, enticing even regular churchgoers, and therefore weakening their testimony of the Gospel to the watching world.

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*Dr. M. R. DeHaan M.D. The Jew and Palestine in Prophecy, Zondervan Publishing House, 1950,  11th Reprint 1972.

In This World Of Troubles...

I recall 1976. This was the year I flew my parent's nest, set up my home as a bachelor, started to buy my own vinyl pop singles and albums - and began my travels outside Europe for the first time in my life. Of all the singles, one song stood out - John Miles' hit Music, which made it to #3 in the UK pop charts. Such an impact it had on my being, that just a few weeks after it was released, and as I flew out for a three-week backpacking stint to the Holy Land, the song kept ringing in my mind. What was it that set this hit from all other hits at the time? Was it that it was recorded with a proper live orchestra rather than a band as with all other chart toppers? To me at least, orchestras are found in opera houses, and tend to entertain the upper classes with highbrow pieces such as Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, or Ravel's Bolero, (my favourite classical of all time), or pieces from Mozart. But John Miles had created a happy union of a highbrow orchestra with drumbeat-type rhythm and a vocal to result in such a classic. You can listen to it yourself on You Tube (after reading this blog!) by typing Music - John Miles on that website.

The combination of the pop song Music with Israel was brought to mind only last night, when answering an opening post of a social website forum thread, who asked, Who has been to Israel? Share your stories. By sharing my lifetime experience totalling 23 weeks altogether, I was able to relate about the backpackers hostel in the heart of the Old City of Jerusalem, along with  a time as a volunteer in Ishfya on the summit of Mt. Carmel, downtown Haifa, and trips to Tel Aviv, Nazareth, Acre, Tiberias and the ruins of Capernaum on the Sea of Galilee, Bethlehem, Hebron, the desert resort of En Gedi on the west bank of the Dead Sea, the remains of Herod's fortress on the summit of Masada, and the rich coral under the turquoise waters of the Red Sea at Eilat. But what I have found most striking was an example of archaeology still fully functional - Hezekiah's Tunnel, opened in 701 B.C. and still carrying water from the Spring of Gihon to the Pool of Siloam, within the ancient city walls during the king's reign. Of all surviving relics, this is specifically mentioned in the Bible, with the Holy Spirit inspiring it twice, to dispel any skeptics's doubts on its authenticity (2 Kings 20:20, 2 Chronicles 32:30.)

Hezekiah's Tunnel, June 1976, then aged 23

As I waded through the tunnel with just one other person, each holding a candlelight, the beat of the music went round my mind. But it was the lyrics which also struck a cord, perhaps helping me to set upon the course of Christian growth and sanctification. The lyrics contains the line:
In this world of troubles, my music pulls me through.

In this world of troubles. And that is what is like constantly living under the shadow of a delayed major heart operation - hence the writing of this blog - after receiving another phone call of a cancellation, twice in a row, with another appointment for admission set for the following week. Even at present I now feel that this will fall through as well, hence prolonging the frustrating wait to have the procedure over and done with, and a slow recovery to get life back to normal again. Maybe I could take this whole episode firmly on the chin, if it had not been for my wife's infirmity. Instead, because of her mobility limitations, it remains down to me to ensure that her medicines: three main drugs, two sets of painkillers and a daily nutritional supplement in a form of a small bottle of prescribed milkshake, are all well stocked up for the period of myself as a hospital in-patient. So it seems, if the operation went as originally scheduled, her medical care would not have posed such a problem, having already stocked up to cover the period of the original appointment. Instead I may have to cross swords with a skeptical G.P. to get him to sign for further prescriptions for stocking up. All unnecessary stress, with concerns for my beloved's welfare weighing well over my own concerns.

In this world of troubles, my music pulls me through. No doubt, listening to my favourite tune has a relaxing tonic, the ability to soothe my spirit.  If the tune has a regular drumbeat, it has the ability to excite the emotions on some positive topic or circumstance, thus helping me to overcome various issues. But as I fully agree with John Miles' solution to this troubled world - music, like all earthly panaceas, are temporary fixes. What I need is something a lot more permanent.

And that was why I flew to Israel in 1976 (and three more times after that) - having discovered the Bible and delved into the Old Testament from more than three years earlier towards the end of 1972, when I was first converted. As visiting Jerusalem and exploring the sites in the Holy Land brought the Bible to life as well as authenticate its inspiration, so mixing reading of Scripture with faith helps me to face these problems without sinking too low.

Coral Beach, Eilat - taken October 2000.

The incident of the Lord allowing Peter to walk on water provides a classic case point (Matthew 14:25-33). When the disciples saw Jesus approaching the boat whilst in the middle of the lake, they were at first terrified, thinking that they are seeing a ghost. When the Lord reassured them that it was he, Peter alone had both the faith and courage to ask Jesus if he too can walk on the water to meet him. That's where the glory of Jesus comes in. He could have said, Don't be a fool, Peter! I alone have that divine right. Instead, he bade him to walk. And while he had his eyes fixed on Jesus, the miracle was performed - he walked on the surface as if dry land. But most likely, one of the disciples remaining in the boat called out a warning of an approaching wave, and being typical of Peter, he impulsively took his eyes off the Lord and took caution of the approaching wave. And immediately he began to sink.

I suppose this happens to me and I guess all other believers - taking our eyes off the Lord and worrying about our own situations, whatever they may be. And we sink, often into despair, as I often do. But this is also a good reflection on why I had received another cancellation. The hospital staff was very apologetic, and did not merely palm me off as an inconvenience. Instead, she explained that there has been an unusual spate of heart transplants taking place at the cardiac hospital. Admitting that there is usually a spike of admissions during the post-Christmas blues, with the prospect of a Winter with cold, unpleasant weather and nothing to look forward to, nevertheless, this year has seen a higher than expected rate of donor deaths, hence the prolonged delay. By the looks of it, I was unfortunate enough to be caught in a vortex of sheer bad luck.

But as I think about this spate of deaths, I could not help thinking about the loss of the loved ones among their families, and the joy of other families receiving hope for their loved ones when a donated matching heart becomes available. No doubt they take priority over the likes of myself, an elective patient. However, the high spate of deaths, and particularly at this time of the year, may have been due to a high level of disappointment, stress, or anxiety, so according to one Medical Doctor.* Also, according to statistics, divorce rates are at its peak throughout January, and I believe, although I can't substantiate this, suicides seems to be up as well. It all boils down to a sinking feeling of hopelessness throughout the cold, dark and wet season, without an object of faith which can bring hope, if not the solution itself. As Peter looked on the approaching wave and began to sink, likewise we too can take our eyes off Jesus and start sinking in thought and emotion, and furthermore, incur various physical illnesses as well, which include heart attacks.

My natural tendency is to see the glass as half empty rather than half full, to believe that evil triumphs over good, to look on the dark side of life. But I am also in good company. For example, Jacob saw mud rather than the stars. When he thought that he had lost his favourite son Joseph to a wild beast, his mournful dirge was that he will go to the grave with his son, (Genesis 37:35) everything is against me (42:36) you will bring my grey head down to the grave in sorrow, (42:38) and as for me, I am bereaved, I am bereaved (43:14). Such was Jacob's prolonged attitude over the loss of his son, which occurred some twenty years earlier. Moses too saw the glass as half empty as well. In Numbers 11:11-15 we read of Moses' complaint to God:

Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people upon me? Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries her infant, to the land you promised an oath to their forefathers? Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, "Give us meat to eat!" I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too great for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now - if I have found favour in your eyes - and do not let me face my own ruin.

And all that despite that Moses saw all the great signs and wonders performed in front of his eyes, including the daily provision of manna from heaven. The Hebrews' lack of faith in God and their thankless attitude had wearied his spirit to the point of sheer hopelessness, as with the case of Jeremiah the prophet. His grief over the destruction of Jerusalem under the siege of the Babylonians was intense enough to write the book of Lamentations. Only faith in God can overcome these negative emotions, such as the case of the prophet Habakkuk, who was with Jeremiah as they saw the land devastated. However he wrote that even if the fig tree bears no fruit, nor be any grapes on the vines, the olive crop fails, and the fields produce no food, there be no sheep in the pen nor cattle in the stalls - yet through faith continues to praise and thank God for his goodness (Habakkuk 3:17-19). Habakkuk's faith had triumphed over his own pessimism, an area where Jacob and Moses had failed to overcome theirs.

At the Citadel, Jerusalem, taken October 2000.

I guess faith is the key. Despite the repeated cancellations, I must believe that God has everything in his hands, including my future. I should rest in God's assurance that everything works for the good of those who loves him, and absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of Christ, whether it be physical or spiritual (Romans 8:28, 38-39) and my wife's medicine supply will be fully met while I'm in hospital.

Faith is believing that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, and is the source of rest for those who fully trusts God through it. After all, its authenticity is verified through my visit for 23 weeks in Israel, where most of the Bible was written.

Especially if I waded through a 2,700 year old hole in the wall!

*Dr. S. I. McMillen MD, None of these Diseases, Lakeland Books.

My thoughts...Your Thoughts...

Last week I concluded my blog with the words, This may be the last blog for a while. I wrote this with the hope that this week I would be offered a bed at Harefield Cardiac Hospital in order to have open heart surgery. But instead, on the day before the date of admission, the 'phone rang with the message that there were no beds available, and with it another appointment for admission a week later. This sort of delay is very common here in the UK, where we have the public-funded National Health Service. All it takes is for someone to go down with cardiac arrest, and he goes in straight away as an emergency patient for treatment, leaving the routine patient, such as myself, standing by the wayside.

It is so frustrating! I get hyped up for the procedure, only to be told that someone else had jumped the queue. Then to add to this, there is always that dreadful possibility that I could be settling in my bed at the ward, just hours away from the operation, when the Doctor approaches with the instructions that I must leave and go home straight away, untreated, as another emergency admission had just taken place. Such is the day-to-day running of a small cardiac hospital just outside the Greater London area and the Home Counties of the South East of England, an area in the UK with the most dense population. But again, if the Doctor were to ask if I would be willing to give up the bed for another with a life-threatening condition, most likely I would give in, maybe with the proviso that I would be given special priority at the next call.

I was surprised when I saw the hospital for the first time last Autumn. It is a lot smaller than I had imagined, and under the same Trust as its sister cardiac hospital, the Royal Brompton, in Central London, where my late father had a pacemaker fitted. In a situation like this, I wish that Harefield had a much bigger hospital, with many more beds, more skilled surgeons, doctors and nurses, and more operating theatres. Yet these two are among many hospitals dotted in the Greater London area, most of them huge institutions each housing hundreds of in-patients, along with its constant flow of out-patients. When considering the addition of many more sick people taking prescribed medicine at home, it goes to show that our nation's health isn't that great. And that is the paradox. We live at an era where we enjoy the forefront of scientific knowledge and technology. We have explored the genome, found suitable drugs to tackle illness, we have learnt how to eat the correct kind of food, we have discovered that a sedentary lifestyle without proper exercise isn't good for us. We have seen the debilitating effects of smoking and excess drinking. Yet the National Health Service is bursting at the seams: Patients at Accident and Emergency have to wait in corridors, even remaining in ambulances that had brought them to the department, Government funding always making the News headlines, the fight between private and public investments - all proving that there are more sick people than what the N.H.S. can handle or afford.

Yet we read for example of Abraham, who lived up to 175 years, and was still fathering children in his old age. Yet there is no indication that he ever felt ill, let alone visit a hospital. Then Moses lived to 120 years, and apparently never suffered an illness in his life either. Sure enough, Job did suffer a life-threatening illness, yet he pulled through to live to 140 years, fathering children in the process - without any doctor's appointments or being cared for at a hospital ward. There is even a tradition that the Apostle John lived to a good old age. Just what was it about living in a tent on the backside of the desert? Plenty of sunshine and little, if any rain? Does our cool temperate climate affect our health? Or could our poor state of health be the outcome of life's modern stresses, anxieties, worries, especially on income, job security, level of education, household budgets, unexpected expenses, debt, marriage breakdown, an uncertain future? At least, since the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, there has been, for example, no Divine in-group/out-group division within the whole of modern society, for God has always had his arms open to anyone who would come to him through faith in Jesus Christ, with the churches continuing to invite all unbelievers to repent and believe the Gospel.

But on the flip side of the coin, reading whether one is a victim of an in-group/out-group culture had a negative effect on me when reading the Old Testament. In the last few months my daily Bible reading is in the process of covering the entire section the Jews refer to as the Torah. That is the first five books of the Bible. For an example, in Numbers chapter 31, God instructs Moses to sent Israeli troops to take vengeance of the Midianites for allowing their women to seduce the men of Israel to worship their god Baal (Numbers 25.) After slaying all the adult men, the Israeli soldiers brought all the women and children to the Hebrew camp. Then in anger, Moses ordered all mothers, along with all the boys to be slain. Only virgin girls were allowed to live. So I visualised women screaming in front of their sons as they met their end, and young boys screaming for their mothers as they too were killed. It must have been a dreadful spectacle, and I must admit of being rather upset over this throughout the day.

This ties in with an event which took place several hundred years later, when God through Samuel orders King Saul to slay the entire population of the Amalekites (1 Samuel 15) including children and infants (v.3), along with every livestock they owned. So imagine a stout Israeli soldier about to leave a house as the young couple lies dead on the floor of the lounge. But as he leaves, he hears a cry coming from a side room. He turns to see a eighteen-month old girl crying her eyes out, in her hand is an uneaten piece of bread her mother had given her. The soldier takes his sword and thrust it through her tiny body. Of course, she knew nothing about the sins her ancestors committed hundreds of years earlier, neither would she had known the difference between worshipping Baal or Jehovah of Israel. But her unfortunate situation of being one of the out-group does not seem to affect a gangster or Hell's Angel motorbike rider, three thousand years later, who after growing up into a life of violence, gang rivalry and bloodshed, becomes radically converted to Jesus Christ and is gloriously saved, and becomes a son and ambassador of the Lord, and whose seat is guaranteed in Heaven, while the soul of the Amalekite toddler remains lost in Hell forever. At least so that how it looks.

Such a situation I find very upsetting. Those poor boys and girls, so young and innocent of the sins of their ancestors, simply were unlucky enough to be born of the wrong parents, of the wrong time in human history, and on the wrong side of God's national division. From this perspective, I have a good idea where atheists like Richard Dawkins are coming from. He accuses Jehovah of the Old Testament of being a sadistically cruel, megalomaniac, a proudly jealous bully who endorses infanticide, and I have to agree, after reading the Old Testament, I would find it virtually impossible to argue against him. As a result, I have wondered how could I love a God like that? Even as a matter of interest, the Israelis who had fought the Midianites had shown a far greater degree of mercy towards women and children than either Moses or God himself. Try and counter Richard Dawkins with such reasoning, especially when the atheist reminds me that the Midianites were cousins of Israel, both stemming from their father Abraham.

I can imagine you thinking right now: the Midianites and the Amalekites were wicked sinners who sacrificed newborn babies to the fires of idols. Fair enough. Also the Hell's Angel killed someone in a bloody fight. The fact is, we are all naturally under sin. The Apostle James says that whoever keeps the whole Law but stumbles at just one point has become guilty of all (James 2:10). In other words, we all stand guilty before a holy God, not a single person in a billion years can plead innocence. So what's the difference between a Jewish Pharisee, an Amalekite and a Hell's Angel?

Then again, I'm thinking as a human thinks. I see the love the mother has for her child. A natural human re-action. But to complicate things further, when Jesus Christ was on earth, he had shown compassion towards children. When mothers brought children for him to bless them, he blessed them (e.g. Matthew 19:13) and has declared that unless one becomes like a little child, he will never enter the Kingdom of God (Luke 18:16-17) and such are the Kingdom of God. But while he was here, he was ministering to Israel, and not to Gentiles, as so demonstrated when he spoke to the Canaanite woman (Matthew 15:21-28.) So even in his day, the in-group/out-group between Israel and the rest of the world was still standing. How did Jesus have felt towards non-Israeli children?

On the face of it, it looks like God has been grossly unfair to the point of sheer cruelty throughout human history - allowing Abraham to live to 175 years, ordering an Amalekite toddler to be slain, saving a wild, murderous gangster, the latter because he was fortunate enough to be born after the Cross. How would he have fared had he been born during the days of King David? Then again, consider a child born in the far East, where Hinduism, Buddhism or even Islam dominate. What would be his eternal fate then? Or even a French, Spanish or Italian who had never understood the true Gospel of Christ. How would they fare at God's judgement throne? Again, human thinking, human reasoning, human emotions. But concerning human thinking and feelings, God had this to say:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
As the heavens higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9.

God's ways of thinking and acting will always be higher than ours, as his wisdom is greater than our wisdom and reasoning. Looking at the slaughter of the Midianite mothers and their sons, this took place at or near the Hebrew camp. Every single day the Levitical priests offered bulls, rams and calves as guilt, sin and fellowship offerings, and as such, there might have been the possibility of the sins of these people had been covered by these sacrifices, allowing their souls into paradise. It's just a thought of course, but the same reason might have been behind the order King Saul had received from Samuel, to slay all the livestock belonging to the Amalekites. As without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness (Hebrews 9:22) - the slaying of these beasts could have been the way for these children into paradise. The fact that King Saul had disobeyed the order and allowed the beasts to live, does not shorten God's power in making atonement. Rather, King Saul paid the price of losing his kingdom to a rival youth, the shepherd David.

Going back to the hospital appointment, it does look to me to be unfair for a routine patient who had never abused his body, having to stand at the wayside in order to admit an emergency patient whose condition was brought about my heavy smoking and excess drinking. It's unfair, but I suppose I could see myself as a "health pharisee" looking down on the "health abuser" - yet it is the latter who enters hospital before the former. A reflection of God's grace?

At the time of this writing, another appointment for the procedure has been set for the coming week. If I am put aside again, then I'll continue with normal living - going to work, looking after my wife, writing blogs. And so I'll continue until the day a bed is assigned to me.

Watch this space. The presence or absence of next week's blog will say everything.

A Common Misunderstanding (Bible study)

Last week I detailed Abraham's character, and proving from the Bible that despite the patriarch's fear of the future, his cowardly attitude over his wife, and his inability to trust other people, God chose him to be the father of a special nation from which a Saviour was to arise to reconcile a fallen world to himself. There was a point in time when the Lord made a promise that even in his old age, a son would be born from his loins. Abraham believed this revelation in his heart, and as a result, he was fully acquitted from all his sins, and became known as the father of faith (Genesis 15:6). In both the Old and New Testaments and therefore after the patriarch's death, God has referred to himself in the present tense as the God of Abraham, indicating that he was conscious in eternity, long after his bones were buried in the Cave of Machpelah (Exodus 3:6, Mark 12:26-27).

Site of the Cave of Machpelah, Hebron
 

Whether Abraham believed it or not, by reading the narration, I am convinced of his eternal security in Christ. The fact was still true, even if the great patriarch did not realise it. I thank God that his gift of eternal life is independent of our thoughts, motives, and feelings! But what I have seen arising within the last couple of decades is the idea that a believer can lose his salvation if he either fails to hold faithful, or to allow his sins to stack up without confessing - a central tenet of the Roman Catholic faith. That is why in this follow-up blog from last week's, which can be classed as a Bible study topic, I hope to both bring such glory to God and to edify as well, if the Lord grants such a privilege.

After Abraham was justified by faith, there was no hint that he had lost his salvation, or even suffered a temporary relapse into his former lost state. Yet he was so fearful for his life, after God had given him his promise, that he virtually disowned his wife. And he did that twice, at least. If there was an opportunity for Abraham to fall away, surely those two occasions would have been them. But God, in his faithfulness in his promise, spoke both to the Egyptian Pharaoh and later, the King of Gerah, to return Sarah to her husband. The two rulers both then rebuked Abraham over his mistrust, but no rebuke, as far as I know, from Heaven. Now if it is possible for us to lose our salvation over a similar incident of faithlessness, wouldn't this make the Lord to be grossly unfair? But those who advocate a conditional security can point out at least two contrasting set of verses which gives the Bible a sense of inconsistency:

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and the follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no-one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one.
John 10:27-30.

It is impossible for those who had once been enlightened, who has tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the Word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.
Hebrews 6:4-6.

Seeing such inconsistency, advocates of Conditional Security has brought out a theory that yes, once saved, nobody can take your salvation away from you, no matter how hard they try. But you are still free to just walk away from the eternal life God has given you, and perish forever. And such advocates has quoted Hebrews 6:4-6 as classic proof text to support their teachings. So why not delve into the Old Testament book of Leviticus to grasp what was really in the author's mind when he wrote that?

Leviticus opens with the tabernacle complete but not yet in use. So God gives to Moses exact and specific directions for its use, and who will be staffing it. Only the descendants of Aaron, brother of Moses, were allowed to minister to Israel at the Tabernacle. Every Israelite who wants to come into God's presence must never arrive empty-handed. Instead he must bring a male goat for a sin offering, a calf and a lamb for a burnt offering, an ox and a ram for a peace offering, along with a grain offering mixed with oil (Leviticus 9:3-4). The priest must then kill each beast according to the type of sacrifice, their fat burned on the altar, and their blood splashed on all four sides of the altar. Consequences for not obeying the regulations, or overstepping the mark, as was the case of Aaron's two sons Nadab and Abihu (Leviticus 10) resulted in instant death, as was the case of anyone who entered the inner sanctuary without authority, whether a priest or ordinary citizen.

Reconstructed  Jewish Tabernacle, Israel

According to the narration, Nadab and Abihu's intentions in offering fire in censors to the Lord were good. But neither his father or brothers were allowed to mourn. Despite their good motives, the incident had brought out the seriousness of sin. Simply put, it is impossible to come into God's presence without the shedding of blood, and even then, the blood must be shed in a specific way.

The Jews have kept these regulations right up to the time of Christ, but the system was a failure. Those sacrifices only atoned for unintentional sins; deliberate sins such as blasphemy, murder and adultery, as well as Sabbath-breaking (Numbers 15:32-36), and rebellion (Numbers 16) were punishable by death, normally through stoning. So after the sacrifice was completed, the one who offered was forgiven - until he sins again, and bring forth five more beasts to make a fresh atonement. This was a classic case of only past sins forgiven - a fresh sacrifice had to be made every time a person wanted to consult with his God. If the system of only past sins being forgiven had proved a failure, it looks to me to be tragic that the average Roman Catholic must attend Mass regularly to partake in a bloodless sacrifice offered by the priest, from which advocates of Conditional Security had borrowed the same soteriological idea.

When the Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross, the curtain which separated the inner sanctuary of the Temple from the outer one was torn in two from top to bottom, indicating a divine act. From then on, anyone can approach the throne of God without an animal sacrifice and live, and not die as a result. The sacrifice of Christ has paid for all of the sins one has, and would ever commit. So to return to offering sacrifices at the Temple after the Resurrection was a denial of the efficiency of the Atonement made by the Lord. In short, a return to Temple ordinances was denying the Lord.

As before the cross, the Holy Spirit can only reside temporally in a believer, which necessity of full acquittal was required, as was the case of Abraham, Moses, Aaron, King David, etc. But after the Resurrection, the Holy Spirit abides in the believer forever, making him holy. And that is the true definition of holiness - the presence of God, as was the case of an area of ground where Moses stood at the burning bush. God ordered Moses to take off his sandals because the ground he was standing on was holy ground (Exodus 3:5). When a group of believers gathers together, the Holy Spirit dwells not only in them but also among them, influencing any unbeliever who walks in. We can read about this in 1 Corinthians 14:24-25 -

But if an unbeliever or someone who does not understand comes in while everybody is prophesying, he will be convinced by all that he is a sinner and will be judged by all, and the secrets of his heart will be laid bare. So he will fall down and worship God, exclaiming, "God is really among you!"

Here without doubt the unbeliever became a partaker of the Holy Spirit, even in his unconverted state. But supposing that this unbeliever was a Jew who had walked in, but instead of believing in his heart that this Jesus is the promised Messiah who died to atone for him, ending all Temple sacrifices and ordinances, and rose physically from the dead, he shook his head, muttered something about "Gentile hysteria", walks out and returns to his Temple ordinances. The chance of coming to repentance becomes impossible due to a hardening of his heart. This is exactly what Hebrews 6:4-6 is all about. It was never about a believer falling away and losing his salvation, as Conditional Security advocates insist, but an unbeliever turning away after being brought to the gates of Heaven by the Holy Spirit. And that in particular among the Jews, to whom this letter was addressed.

A believer is made holy through the Holy Spirit dwelling in him. According to John 14:15-17, the Holy Spirit will abide in the believer forever. This means that if the believer falls away, and goes to Hell, the Holy Spirit will go to Hell in him. The very foolishness of this confirms the truth of Eternal Security.

Holiness is about having the Spirit of Christ dwelling in you, and shining out by showing the love of Christ to another person, especially a fellow believer. That is what walking in faith is all about. Love. As in 1 Corinthians 13. By loving that person or group of people in the same way Christ would have loved them fulfils the entire Law. The one who loves would not want to steal, hurt, kill, or falsely accuse, or even covet his possessions, and would respect the wife as her husband's and not touch her. At the same time he would love God with all his mind, heart, soul, and strength. But these things takes time for the Christian. When he sins, the Blood of Jesus had already atoned for him, but it's good for him to agree with God that he wasn't following the lead of the Spirit. That is what confession to God is all about - simply to agree with him.

I have written all this because of the peeve in watching fellow believers living under the Law, as this is the result of Conditional Security - living under the Law. That is, if I allow my sins to stack up unconfessed, or turn away from the faith, I perish. And that despite that if I keep the Law but stumble at just one point, I become guilty of all (James 2:10). And I have found that those believing in Conditional Security (or as I like to call it: Probational Salvation) tend to be less loving, more judgemental and critical, and generally weary towards those who disagree with them. So according to my 40 + years of being a believer myself, having being snapped at by those who thinks they must "hold on". But despite our human frailty (and those who believe in Eternal Security have their weaknesses too) - my desire is to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, and whenever I have to make a decision, or how I should respond to a given situation, I ask myself: How would Jesus have dealt with this?

It's a good way of living a holy life.

Sanctimonious Git! Really?

In the last blog, I called attention to one Old Testament character, Joseph son of Jacob. He was the one who saved the lives of all of Egypt as well as his Hebrew family, who were the fathers of the future nation of Israel, from a severe famine. After betrayal by his ten older brothers and sold to a passing camel-train of Ishmaelites, he spent a few years in prison before being promoted to the role of Prime Minister to Pharaoh, Egypt's king. But he also was a man of strong emotions, weeping and shedding tears to the intensity that his crying was heard throughout the palace he lived in, and even stirred the curiosity of the Pharaoh himself.

His endeavors earned him the respect from the priest of the Egyptian deity On, who gave him his daughter Asenath to wife, making Joseph the son-in-law to the priest, one of the most important figures of ancient Egyptian aristocracy. So here a pattern begins to emerge:

1. Joseph taught to look out for his brothers.

2. Rejected by his brothers and expelled from their company.

3. Marries a foreign wife.

4. Final acceptance of his rule by his family.

Another such example can be said of Jacob himself, Joseph's father:

1. He grew up as a Mummy's boy, loved by his mother Rebekah, and learned to cook and do the housework, in contrast to his twin brother, who his father Isaac loved for his skill in hunting and more masculine, outdoorsy lifestyle.

2. Jacob flees from his brother Esau after stealing both his birthright and his father's blessing.

3. Jacob marries two women in another country, Leah and Rachel.

4. He return to inherit his father's fortune.

Moses was born during the time the new king of Egypt knew nothing of Joseph the Hebrew, some four hundred years earlier. After he was discovered in a basket hidden from sight by the king's daughter, the boy grew up with the knowledge from his parents that his destiny was to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. The lad was adopted by the king's household, and grew up as a prince, learning all the wisdom of the Egyptians. But one day, as he looked out for his own Hebrew people, working as slaves for the Egyptians, he saw one of his own being beaten by an Egyptian guard. Looking this way and that, he went and killed the oppressor. The next day he saw two Hebrews fighting. When he tried to reconcile the two, the one in the wrong turned to Moses and asked,
"Who made you a prince and a judge over us? Will you kill me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?"

So Moses fled Egypt and ended up in Midian, where he too married a foreign wife, Zipporah. It was forty years in the desert before God called him out of the burning bush to return to Egypt to lead his people out. It is an interesting statement from Hebrews 11:27 which says that Moses fled from Egypt, not fearing the king's anger. Then why did he travel to Midian? Was it because he was rejected by his own people, which deeply hurt him? This is backed up by the sheer reluctance to lead his own people, so narrated in detail in Exodus chapters three and four. In verses 24-26 of the fourth chapter, there is another proof that Moses was reluctant to help his fellow countrymen. So begrudged was he against his rejection forty years earlier, that he couldn't be bothered to circumcise his son. This wasn't out of forgetfulness, but willful rebellion on his part, as God was ready to kill him, and to have him stand at the Judgement seat of Christ, not to be judged for his sins, but to determine his eternal rewards.

Then there was the case of David. As a youth he was destined to replace King Saul's dynasty as the head of the kingdom of Israel. Like Joseph, David also delivers his people from a dire situation by slaying the oppressive Philistine giant, Goliath. But this led to Saul's jealousy, and David having to flee into exile, where he remained for the next twenty years. It was during that time that David married Maacah, daughter of King Talmai of a neighbouring state of Geshur. It was after King Saul and his son Jonathan were slain by the Philistines that David returned to claim his throne.

So the definite pattern emerges from the life stories of these Old Testament saints:
1. Rejection by his own people.
2. Marrying a foreign wife.
3. Returning to lead and rule over his people, who afterwards accepts him.

And so these men of faith were all shadows of Jesus Christ himself.

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognise him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.
John 1:10-11.

Jesus Christ came not only into the world, but specifically to his own people Israel. Jesus came presenting himself as the King of Israel, and rightful heir of David's throne, according to Matthew 2:3-6 and Luke 1:29-33. But his people rejected him and had him crucified instead. After his death, they all thought that was it, he was done away with for good. But they didn't reckon on his resurrection three days later. It was after his ascension that his Church, the Bride of Christ, began to be built on the foundation stone of Jesus Christ himself, who is also her head. And history has shown that the Christian Church has always been almost entirely Gentile, that is to say, people not of Israeli or Jewish origin.

Jesus Christ, having been rejected by his own people Israel, is now "in exile" so to speak, from the throne of David in Jerusalem, while building a Gentile Bride for himself. Then one day he will return to Jerusalem to reign on David's throne. At his future coming, it is said that the whole of Israel will mourn for what they have done to him, like a father mourning over his own son, as they see the One whom they have pierced standing on the Mount of Olives.

What richness and power of Holy Scripture! Which brings to mind of the prophet Habakkuk. This fellow is classed as a "minor prophet" due to the shortness of his book, with only three chapters. It can be easily missed while flicking through the pages of the Old Testament. But it was through Christian music that I became acquainted with him. Back in the 1970's, I had a library of spiritual songs on cassette tape which I played at home. One of them was my favourite, and it was called Scripture in Song. I played it so often, that eventually the tape was chewed up by the player mechanism, and it became useless. But I will never forget one of the songs which featured on the tape:

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither fruit shall be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation, The LORD God is my strength-

The song ended there, before repeating itself several times, but in the Bible the verse goes on: -and he shall make my feet like hinds' feet, and he shall make me to walk upon mine high places.
Habakkuk 3:17-19 AV, from which the song was composed.

When I first read this back in the day, I thought: Get real, man! You live in a agricultural land with a hot dry climate, you have your own home without a mortgage or a bossy, rent-demanding landlord. You never have to worry about having to pay fuel bills on time, let alone telephone and other utility costs. Then you work the fields at your own leisure, without the constant noise and dirt of factory machinery, where I have to reach on time by travelling in the rain amid noisy, air-polluting traffic, or stuck on a platform waiting for a delayed train at one end of the line, and a scowling boss at the other. On top of this, you most likely had never experienced bullying or stress from work colleagues much imposed by a faster pace of life at present than in your day. So your fields are barren. An application of some fertilizer should do the trick. What a sanctimonious git you look to be, Habakkuk!

But by reading the whole book, then doing some research on his environment, political and current situation, then quite a different picture emerges. Habakkuk lived about the same time as the prophet Jeremiah, or maybe a little earlier. His beloved nation of Judah was about to be besieged by the Babylonians under a powerful but cruel king Nebuchadnezzar. Habakkuk knew of the coming destruction of his beloved city Jerusalem and its Temple, built by King Solomon centuries earlier, along with the barrenness of the land, as Habakkuk had already known, was owing to God seventy years of Sabbatical rest. This rest, when no crops were to be sown and harvested, were to have taken place for one year out of every seven years (see Leviticus 25) along with a Jubilee year every fifty years. As Israel was a kingdom under the reign of a monarch for the past five hundred years, without the sabbatical year ever being observed throughout that period, Habakkuk knew of the resulting seventy years of sabbatical rest the land owes to God, and the necessity of the removal of all its people to Babylon, so the land can have its rest. The prophet also knew of the kingdom coming to an end with the beginning of the diaspora, which will continue right up to the Second Coming of Christ, still future even from our standpoint in time.

I also believe that Habakkuk knew of the coming Messiah, and his future ministry to Israel, and how he would be cut off from the earth while still in the prime of his life. During his lifetime, a lot of what we call Biblical prophecy (from Isaiah to Malachi) weren't yet written, but more than likely had access to Isaiah's writings, and from these, along with the knowledge of history of the nation's founding fathers, he would have a good idea of what was to come. Yet he was very distressed on how the universal unbelief and wickedness of his own people were to bring about the fall of the kingdom. Yet despite of all this, he also knew of the goodness of God as well as his sovereignty.

Like with me, Habakkuk spent his life seeing the glass half-empty rather than half full, as with all the prophets in the Old Testament, tending to have a pessimistic view of the world, which is quite a contrast to the apostle Paul's optimistic view, along with Peter's. Yet despite his despair, his demonstration of having faith in God, rather than seeing him as conceited or even cynical, his testimony in such adverse conditions has made an excellent model on how I too can have the same faith in the Lord as he did.

Like this weekend, having learnt that one of our church elders has arrived safely in Mumbai, India to volunteer in a Christian youth festival, their equivalent of our Newday Bible week. On top of this, another great friend I have in the church will be flying off to Uganda within the next eight or nine days, and will spend the rest of Autumn out there. Another mate of mine has been to both the USA and Germany in a space of two or three months. Then in addition, some of my clients had, in the last couple of weeks, passed through the airport terminal, resulting in a loss of income. As one who was, and will always be, a travel fanatic, feeling trapped in the UK due to health reasons of both my wife and myself can be distressing. But if Habakkuk can believe, why not I? In the next few weeks I'll be attending hospital appointments in preparation for a major open heart operation to fit a new aortic valve. It is a great comfort to know that I have a wonderful God I can trust, and together with the knowledge of his sovereignty and omniscience, I can rest assured in him for the rest of my life, knowing that there will be better things to come, both in this life and in the next.

Thanks for your testimony, Habakkuk. It has even made it into the charts!