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Showing posts with label Surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Surgery. Show all posts

Saturday, 2 May 2015

Test of Patience.

Sitting in the waiting room at the local surgery, my appointment was at 10.40 on a typical Monday morning. But not to see a doctor, but one of the two nurses on duty, to give a blood sample for an I.N.R. test, in preparation for a lifelong course of anticoagulants, such as Warfarin, as a result of suffering from Paroxysmal Atrial Fibrillation, or to translate into English, an irregular heartbeat, following the cardiac procedure of having a new Aortic Valve sewn inside my chest back in February.

While one patient after another was called in to the office of one of the nurses, I remained waiting - and waiting - near the main reception. Then about half an hour later, another patient walks into the building and registers his appointment, then sits in the waiting room two rows in front of mine. My guess is that he was in his mid thirties. He was unshaven, maybe using his stubble to emphasise his look of feeling unwell. This must have done the trick, because just five minutes later, the nurse came out of her office to call him in by name. And that's the rub. Calling him in personally by name. Normally, the large computer screen on the wall does the calling. But not that morning, for the computer crashed yet again, which seems to be rather frequent in that particular surgery. Oh well, next time I have an appointment there, I'll make sure I don't shave beforehand. Because there was another half-hour wait before I was eventually called in, during that time I watched our unshaven friend leave the office and the building altogether and heading in the direction of the car park, while another patient, a female who spent her time moaning about her delay in returning to work, was called in by the same nurse a good while before my turn came.



What was the cause of a full hour's wait, when I should have waited just somewhere between five to ten minutes? First the computer crash screwed up that morning's schedule, keeping us waiting longer than was necessary. And secondly, and this is where I felt the real pinch, was that the nurse who eventually tended to my treatment was not the nurse I was booked in to visit. Rather, what she was doing was tending to all the remaining patients who were scheduled to see the other nurse, to whom I was originally booked in to visit. 

Once inside her office, she took the blood sample so vital for the correct medication. But keeping calm in this situation was not easy, believe me. She herself expressed her anger and frustration, almost taking it out on me, as I cracked a joke in an attempt to ease the tension in the air. Her pent up feelings was aimed at her colleague literally next door, who had tended to just one patient to what must have been close to a full hour, if not longer. I could not help but ponder: What the heck was going on in that consultation room? A full scale operation? So it seemed. But that morning was one of the severest tests of patience I had to endure for a long time.

And that's the whole gist of it. So many people needing treatment, or of needing attention one way or another. Like the hell of superstore checkouts.  As earlier in the day, when I went out to do the weekly shop. There were queues of shoppers waiting to pay for their items at the few checkouts that were operative, while there was a large area of deserted space testifying to the greater row of unattended tills, I believe, in some money-saving scheme. Then, lining up to be served, there is often so much unnecessary waiting while the (usually female) customer quibbles with the teller over the validity of a voucher meant to save her a few pence from the overall payment. But at least we are at present living in better days with the advent of the electronic bank card. I recall the dread of the old days when the customer being served reached into her handbag and fished out her chequebook. That was when I knew that I should have brought in my tent to set up camp there!

Then again, I have much to be thankful for. For one who does not own or drive a vehicle, I have managed to avoid hours upon hours of the daily commute. I recall a friend having to take me to hospital, either to visit a consultant, or for my wife to attend treatment, during the morning or evening rush hour. The unavoidable traffic congestion up ahead did pose a very real threat to the appointment, and I have wondered how one manages to get to his workplace on time every weekday morning. The frustration of it all when I consider the sheer lunacy which came with the invention of the motor car. I bet the original inventors had never foreseen or predicted the lines of traffic at a standstill due to a truck jackknifing when an impatient car driver swerves to overtake another, or due to some other miscreant. Or the natural habit of rubbernecking - a traffic snarl-up caused when curious drivers slow down to turn and look at something unusual on the other side of the road, or on an adjoining field.

Oh, the insanity of having such a huge, motorised box to move just one person from one location to another, when the same capacity can hold four, maybe five people at the same time. But then with such a convenient commodity, I guess there is something magical about the privacy of lone travel, and the full control of the wheel, which is not quite the same while having passengers, and certainly not while sitting in a train or bus. But being stuck in a jam, or even frustrated by a slow car driver in front, or that of an articulated lorry, or worst of all, held back by a slow crawling tractor on a narrow winding road is surely enough to blow the fuse of not a few drivers, yet as it has always appeared on the outside, there are hardly any instances of road rage. At least not over here in the UK, where narrow country roads are prevalent. On the other hand, out in the United States where freeways are wide and straight, there does seem to be far less snarl-ups, at least when I became aware of this while travelling interstate on the Greyhound bus network.



But here in Britain we are either icons of infinite patience, or perhaps our British stiff upper lips make us the most stoic nation in the world! And this was no better demonstrated as during the morning rush hour earlier in the week, when a power failure caused one of the busiest rail systems into London to have come to a standstill for up to five hours. According to the Press and related video clips, there was not a stir within any of the stranded trains except some mild complaints from one or two females over the stuffiness caused by trapped heat inside the carriages. A video was also shown of a train stuck in the middle of nowhere releasing all its passengers over a makeshift ladder attached to one of its doors. Each passenger might as well have been a zombie, as their faces were just as expressionless. 

Which was a reminder, had I have been one of the passengers on that line, stuck for hours on board a train. One of the system's lines was the one linking London with Gatwick International Airport, then onward to the coast. Suppose I had a flight to board at Gatwick? That had occurred several times in the past. How would I have felt? Panic? Frightened out of my wits? To be honest, I have doubts whether I could have sat like a zombie throughout the ordeal, knowing full well that any chances of boarding the flight would have been scuppered. All sorts of thoughts would have passed through my mind. Would they let me board another flight later in the day? Or perhaps the next day? Or even a week later if they also allow me to return home a week later as well? If none applies, would I get enough compensation to make a fresh booking? I doubt that I would have been able to contain my emotions. I'll be wanting to talk, to hear an expert tell me the outcome of a missed flight. Anything but the dreaded silence of British stoicism.

And talking of Gatwick Airport, I recall 1978. What a blood curdling experience I had when I witnessed patience running out completely and the strong, stiff upper lip had melted. It was during a strike by the French Air Traffic Control workers. As a result, all flights across Europe were delayed or suspended. That morning, a group meant to fly to Spain stood waiting at the departure gate, ready to board the 'plane waiting outside. Then the intercom announced through the spacious corridor to all passengers for that particular flight to return to the departure lounge. Apparently, they had to be called back several times within the last few hours, possibly even overnight. A young man, about my age, suddenly let out a series of demonic screams, and I felt my hair stand on end. Such what happens when patience runs out. Fortunately for me, who was close by, my flight out to New York was unaffected by the strike, and it took off on time. But that scream was something I have never allowed to be forgotten.

The young man's scream at the airport was a direct opposite to the apostle's instruction to "Count it all joy when tribulation comes" (James 1:2-3). And I'm convinced that the British stoicism such as shown in a stranded train was not from James' writings either, as this stoicism is from the flesh, earthly, borne from unbelief, and as such, not from the Holy Spirit. Nor being stuck in traffic, or at a superstore checkout line. But at the doctor's surgery, I have found praying to be a good tonic. That was why I had it in me to try and cheer the nurse up after I was called in. Okay, so I got it wrong, but it would have been considerably worse had I allowed my natural feelings to predominate.

To be joyful in a hostile situation is as far from being natural enough to be classed as a miracle. Only being filled with the Holy Spirit can bring peace in a situation, for example, when being stuck in a stranded train while on the way to the airport. Through the power of the Holy Spirit comes the realisation of God's sovereignty, and that he is not only aware of the situation, but he actually planned it, for my own good. (Romans 8:28). Know of the omniscience, omnipresence, and the omnipotence of God would replace despair in my situation with a level of peace, if not actually with feelings of joy.



This is not mere words on your computer screen. I have known what it was like being stuck at the airport departure lounge for six hours, as I waited to board the airline for Israel. The delay was due to a part within the airplane in a state of disrepair, and in need to be replaced. At first I felt myself falling into despair. Then I watched a group of orthodox Jews taking in the situation calmly, then some in that group actually fell asleep. And here was I walking around the departure lounge like a beast in captivity, walking round and round the cage. The only way I could calm down was to pray, and ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Only then did I feel a greater sense of peace. That was in 1993, and it was a lesson well worth learning, as far more serious tests were to come in the years ahead.

Patience is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. As a natural man, the lack of patience is one of my main weaknesses. The Holy Spirit provides strength to meet every weakness in my natural self. And one of the strengths is patience, and it is there for the asking, since the Father in heaven is more than willing to give the Holy Spirit to whoever asks. He is glad to answer such a request.

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Being Thankful

We used to sing a song, which was included in our church wedding ceremony:-

Father God I wonder how I managed to exist
without the knowledge of your parenthood and your loving care
But now I am your son
I am adopted in your family
and I can never be alone
'cause Father God, you're there beside me.
I will sing your praises x3
Forever more
I will sing your praises x3
Forever more.

It's a pity that we don't sing it anymore at our meetings, as if it has been thrown into the garbage bin as an oldie, and therefore obsolete. And yet it carries a powerful message, especially when going through the trials of life, on the basis of day to day living. And that was the main reason why, on the day Alex and I were wed, this song was sang by all of us in the building - the minister who married us, bride and groom, the members of both our families, and the rest of the congregation - many who have never heard the song before, let alone sang it. Thank goodness for the song sheet everyone had on the day, at least the song was sang well and with enthusiasm.


 
But there is much truth in the song, as I recall it to mind after returning home from our anniversary break in Bournemouth. Yes, we have returned to Bournemouth in the middle of last week to celebrate our 15th anniversary, a little less than three months after our Summer visit to the same resort. And I found myself actually swimming in the sea, one of a tiny minority, due to the unusually warm sunshine in October. Sometimes it can be so pleasing to visit a resort out of season, free from the bustling crowd of tourists and holidaymakers, and with the main promenade empty of the fun-fair which was so dominant in Summer outdoor partying, the open space brought out the more sedate Autumn atmosphere while the kids were back at school, students having returned to college, and adults back at their workplaces.

But in the days leading up to the holiday, there was a funeral for my father which my wife and I attended with the rest of my remaining family, along with Alex's parents, and some friends and neighbours. Then to add to this, because of my heart problem, there were appointments to go back and forth to the hospital, in Slough of all places, making public transport extremely awkward, particularly when the medical team asks me to arrive by eight in the morning. With trains, I would have had to change in Reading, making a near thirty mile journey to cover a twelve mile distance from home to the hospital, along with long waiting at the platforms. As for the buses, they seem to take delight in a scenic tour of much of Southern England before arriving at the hospital. Not to mention some prat of a car driver way up in front whose erratic early morning navigation causing the bus I'm in to be caught in a resulting snarl-up - while the clock ticks away relentlessly, showing no consideration for the patient stuck in a bus.

That is why we have brothers and sisters in the church whose heart is to do the will of God, motivated by love. I have one friend who has taken me to Slough three times already, always arriving in good time. (As you may already be aware, I don't drive - yet I have travelled the length and breath of the UK, and a good part of the world as well. Ironic, isn't it?) It goes to show that a little showing of love goes a long, long way!

The Bible says that we should rejoice and be thankful in all circumstances. I know, it is easier said than done. Throughout the last fifteen months my beloved wife had lost her ability to walk properly. I had to watch her remaining confined at hospital bed up to four months last year (2013). Every evening, without fail, I made sure that I was at her bedside after a day's work. I have shed rivers of tears. Our 14th wedding anniversary came and went totally unnoticed by my spouse, as she spent that day in a deep sleep, induced by the medicine administered by the hospital. With the missing of last year's anniversary, an annual celebration higher on my list than birthdays or even Christmas, resulted in the cancellation of our dream holiday to the Mediterranean island of Crete. Then after all that, transporting her around in a wheelchair whenever we left the house, as well as running to and fro on errands she always did herself while I was at work. One tedious task is to constantly monitor her intake of daily dosage of medicine, to ensure she does not run out before I need to collect her next order.

On our 15th Anniversary, Bournemouth

Then on top of all his, I watched my father alternate between being housebound and bed-bound in hospital for up to a couple of years before passing away recently. To make matters worse, I have no assurance in my spirit that he is now with the Lord in Heaven. This is one of the things I cannot decide or judge, as God alone knew he state of his heart during his passing away. Yet he admitted several times that he was never afraid of death, and acknowledged that when it was his time, he must go the way destined for all men. At the funeral, a tear rolled down my face as I sat next to Mum, herself weeping as the strong but emotional tenor of Pavarotti's top hit Nessum Dorma, one of Dad's favourite tunes, filled the crematorium chapel as the curtain closed, concealing the coffin from view for the very last time. All this exactly one week before our 15th wedding anniversary.

So with the passing of my father, Alex mobility limitations and myself awaiting open heart surgery, I guess we are passing through a dark hour of our lives. And yet it looks to me that we ought to be thankful in all circumstances, rooted in the faith of Jesus:-

Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before him in thanksgiving and extol him with music and harp.
Psalm 95:1-2.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:4.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:4-7.

Easier said than done, I must admit, especially when I see others around me, better off financially, going away on foreign holidays, tales of backpacking adventures, owning a nice home and fast car, and best of all - enjoying good health. As I carry the ladders on my window cleaning round, I look up to the clear sky and watch a distant airline flying south, leaving a white trail behind as it crosses the sky. Or the distant roar of airline engines as its boosters roar after taking off from nearby Heathrow Airport. Often I sigh: I wish...

Like my late father, feeling melancholic and seeing the glass half empty rather than half full, is my natural tendency. I think about the coming surgery, and I naturally feel that I will be the one in every 1,000+ heart patients where the surgeons will make a mistake, and I slip away into eternity, while my wife waits anxiously outside the theatre. Or the extreme rare occasion of waking up from the anaesthesia-induced sleep halfway through the operation, as reported on several recent occasions by the Press. Lying on the table paralysed, and unable to bat an eyelid, these patients tell of the pain endured while incapable of letting the surgeons know of their plight. During a pre-op talk with one of the surgeons who will perform the op, I have raised this very issue, only to be told that such tales were rubbish. Well, I hope he is right, for according to the newspapers, it happens in one out of 15,000 patients. Naturally, I would be the next one.

The feeling of naked fear, even doubting my salvation, waking up in Hell from the operating theatre were thoughts which had crossed my mind. Did Jesus really save me, or did I, somewhere along the line, missed the mark where faith is concerned, and ended up deceived? After all, many Moslems believe that they are on the right track to Heaven - who am I to assume that it was Jesus Christ, and not Mohammad, or for that matter, Buddha, or even the Hindu gods, that offers life eternal. Operating theatres don't only exist in the West. Buddhists, Moslems, Hindus and Atheists as well, end up under the surgeon's knife.

That was why I found a couple of days in Bournemouth to celebrate our wedding anniversary such a tonic to my faith. From it, I was able to give thanks to God for his goodness. He even brought good weather of Indian Summer, as it's called here, which allowed me to swim in the sea in October. I wonder whether this is God saying to me:- Look, did I not take care you when you were without a job for a year in 1979/80? Did you run into debt? And when you called upon me during mid-flight across the Atlantic, didn't I keep you safe from trouble that can arise in some American cities? What about that evening walk through that particular street in downtown Los Angeles? Did anyone lay a finger on you? And when you were lost in the middle of nowhere in California, didn't I send a cyclist at just the right time to direct you, and caught the very last train back to San Diego? And who called you to pray for Jerusalem when you were in your lowest and shameful mood?

Travel has brought a new dimension in my walk with God. At least twice, on two different places and occasions I was called brave for backpacking the world on my own, although I wouldn't have associated such kudos with travel. But I can rest in one very important hope. Jesus Christ is the only person to have ever risen from the dead. Mohammad is dead, and his bones are with us in Medina. Buddha is also dead, so are the founders of Hinduism. But Jesus Christ is alive! That is the difference, along with the fulfilled prophecies concerning the Messiah's birth, death and resurrection. Now 1 John 5:1 says clearly that whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God. This is backed by the case of the Ephiopian eunuch, who according to the AV, simply confessed to Philip that Jesus is the Son of God, and he was saved, and baptised at a pond they were happening to be passing. Either the Bible s true or it isn't true. Either the Bible is inspired by God, or a record of highly delusional and superstitious men who knew nothing of modern science.




For my wife's sake, I will go through the operation, trusting in the Lord that I will come out at the other end in fine form. I believe that God wants Alex and I to spend many more years together as husband and wife. By comparison to lifelong separation, it does not matter if she will be wheelchair-bound for the rest of her life, we are united in soul as well as body, we want to spend yet many years together, and I'm fully committed to this. I thank God dearly for giving Alex to me as my wife, and surely he has honoured that pledge.

The Bible exhorts us to give thanks to God and to rejoice in all things. When the chips are down, it would be naturally difficult to thank God for the circumstance, yet Paul and Silas thanked God when they were locked up in prison without a proper trial. And they rejoiced, singing praises to God, enough to bring the jailer to salvation. What were their secret? Believing in their hearts that Jesus is the resurrected Christ, and the author and finisher of their salvation.

And so, with open eyes and a believing heart, I go to the operating theatre, knowing that God will be with me.