When I Question My Faith...

I sit at a Starbucks coffee bar, a newspaper lying open on the table in front of me. I take a momentary break from reading to look up at the people around. A young family sit at a nearby table. Along with father and mother, there sits a three year old daughter, her lovely blond hair glistening like gold, and although acting as if somewhat flustered, her behaviour is by no means irritating to her parents or to anyone else in the restaurant. Next to the mother a Moses basket sits, containing their newborn, sleeping soundly. Just another typical British family. I sigh, as I ponder on their relationship with God, whether such a relationship exists or not. Then I return to the article I was reading in the newspaper.

The actual Starbucks Coffee Bar referred here.

Then again, had it been a Muslim family, or a Buddhist family, or a Hindu family, or even to the extent of a Jewish family, I would have felt more certain of their lack of a relationship with a Christian God, a little fact that would have caused me to sigh in despondence. Furthermore, if they claim to be Christian, then that would raise further questions in my mind. Do they regularly attend church? If they don't, then that rules out any connections they might have had with God. But if they do, then which denomination? If it's Roman Catholic, then I would mentally question their certainty of their salvation - as they repeat, mantra-style, their prayers to the Virgin Mary for her to plead to a rather truculent Son of God to show some mercy on them. Are they Jehovah's Witnesses, or Mormons, or are affiliated with Christian Science, or perhaps Ron Hubbard's Church of Scientology? Then their certainty of salvation would be under doubt, because neither of these groups confess Jesus of Nazareth to be the Christ, at least not in the same sense that he is God come in the flesh.

This is becoming rather like a computer program flowchart, something akin to this: 

10 Let r = r+1

20 If r = 3 Then Print "Non-Christian": End

30 Let a = ask family

40 Let b = baptist church

50 Input a

60 If a = b Then Go to 80

70 Go to 10

80 Print "A Christian Family.": End

Perhaps you get the idea. The computer shows that only those who attend a Baptist Church can be perceived as truly Christian. An insulting statement? No doubt it is, but in reality, because our Baptist church confessed that Jesus Christ was the incarnate Son of God who died on a cross to atone for our sins, was buried, and on the third day he rose physically from the dead, and he is now seated at the right hand of the Father in Heaven, and that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, and the Church is a group of people which God had called to be his own - all this was what I believed to be the utmost necessity, and how I thought during my younger years as a Christian believer! What was the ultimate motive which was behind such a train of thought?

It has all come down to this: the Bible teaching on the universality of sin and the existence of Hell. Drummed into me by Mother since a very young child and further endorsed by the Catholic Church within I grew up, even after conversion towards the end of 1972, I had much difficulty in accepting a God of love. Rather, for many years I had a subconscious idea that my performance must play a role in my salvation, even if this performance consisted mainly in keeping every doctrine and belief as true to the Bible as I possibly can.

But other questions arose in my mind. One question which I actually prayed aloud to God whilst alone was: Why did you create us all in the first place when our eternal destiny after death is in the fires of Hell? I must admit, there have been times when I found the concept of eternal suffering incompatible of a God of love. Very much the thinking of an atheist. Then considering Richard Dawkins' description of God of the Old Testament as a megalomaniac, homophobic, sadomasochistic, malevolent bully, and somewhere within me there is a sense of agreement. The impossible keeping of all six hundred-plus laws, some as petty as forbidding of wearing two or more garments made from different materials, makes any human being utterly impossible to enter heaven after death. And not to mention the potential of failing to love God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and with all your strength, along with not confessing that Jesus Christ is Lord - it is Hell for Eternity. 

And as one atheist had asked, If considering that the love-relationship between Christ and the believer is likened to a husband-and-wife relationship, would the marriage last?

A good point. I can imagine the terrible pressure for the wife if her husband keeps on demanding utter perfection in keeping with his laws, or be confronted with the threat of eternal fire. Would all that engender love for him in her heart? Or would she immediately go after another man who showed her unconditional love and acceptance, and end up with an adulterous affair with such a man? Even as a Christian believer, I have pondered in my mind about the sincerity of Christ's love for me, especially when reading in the Bible about his promises of eternal resurrection and heaven, then come across that awful word if - mainly in the context of: if you stand firm in your faith - such as found in Colossians 1:22-23. This gives the impression of God's love as conditional. Imagine how a wife would feel if even though he loved her to bits, yet still stands as conditional on her remaining faithful. But over the years as a married man myself, I have wondered how I would feel if I caught my own wife in bed. At first I said to her that this would be the only cause for a separation. But as time passes by, I began to re-evaluate the situation would it ever occur.

By reading the story of the Old Testament prophet Hosea, how his wife deserted him for prostitution, and who was eventually sold on the slave market. Hosea bought her back and kept on loving her despite her unfaithfulness. Would I do the same if my wife strayed? Indeed, true love is unconditional. If she would ever stray and became unfaithful, I will ensure that I remain faithful to her and will always love her, and ask her to stay with me. And there will never be a need for all that, for such unconditional love will always result in the wife's faithfulness to her husband.

How is it that God's love appears to be far less stable, and wholly hangs on the believer's faithfulness and performance? And the very existence of Hell? A place where every human being who does not acknowledge God will end up - in an eternal fiery furnace? Looking around Starbucks, along with people everywhere, including those on television, I do find it very hard to swallow the concept that one day they will all roast for eternity for not acknowledging God during their lifetimes. Such thoughts spoil my love for such a God. It is rather like a good-tasting mug of coffee. Add a pinch of salt and the taste would be impaired. I would not be able to enjoy the coffee in the same way like I did before. So with my perception of God and the existence of a fiery hell.

I may indeed believe in Once Saved Always Saved. And there is plenty of proof of this found in both Testaments of the Bible. But just being aware of an eternal hell does spoil my perception of God. Yes, there are times - even to this day - when I feel exactly this way. Taking such ideas and feelings on this subject into consideration - I can't help about my knowledge of God's omniscience. That means he is all-knowing - nothing can take him by surprise. So I imagine a newborn, such as the one asleep in the cot at Starbucks, whom God already knows that this human will spend eternity in hell after death, unless of course, he repents, if so, then God already knows about that - even if its another twenty, or thirty, or even seventy years in the future.

As I gaze on the newborn sleeping in the cot, I can't help feeling crushed if God already knows its eternal state, especially if both parents are unbelievers or follow a different religion. Perhaps I'm wallowing in my own ignorance. After all, the Bible does ask who can understand the infinite wisdom of God. But I can't help feeling the way I do. Then I look up and remember some of my fellow Christian believers - well educated middle-class professionals who were seldom seen smiling but instead always going about their business with stone-cold expressions on their faces.

And that is a shame. As I have written here last week, whilst I visited the Kerith Centre in Bracknell, I was able to observe some regular long-standing members with cold expressions. And the Kerith Centre is by no means unique. Even in my own church at Ascot, there are some of the same stone-cold expressions, who hardly ever smile, and there is one in particular who is very much aware of the existence of Hell, and who is outright hostile towards me and very judgemental - even towards others. And I have been to other churches around London and the Home Counties, and have seen very much the same sort of thing. And going by my own experience in relating with other Christians, I have come to the conclusion that just by the mere existence of an eternal hell may be behind such cool, sombre attitudes.

The universal awareness of the existence of Hell may be one of the base-rocks of the belief in Darwin Evolution. In fact, I would not be exaggerating when I say that the majority of Christian graduates I have met and spoken to over the last forty years believe in Theistic Evolution over Divine Creation. This is quite simple to understand. To embrace Evolution - Theistic or Secular - is to deny the historicity of Adam and Eve and their Fall into sin. And to believe that death reigned long before our first parents had ever existed invalidates the significance of their deaths, and therefore robs the Atonement made by Jesus Christ on the cross from any significance in restoring humanity to eternal life. If death did not occur due to the Fall, but instead, necessarily integrated as vital for Natural Selection to work and for Evolution to progress upward, then sin is not the cause of death, and if sin is not the cause of death, then there is no need for an eternal hell. By dwelling on such a concept, it does not become too difficult for me to realise that the awareness of hell provides that vital bedrock for Darwinism to flourish, and by believing in Evolution as fact provides an escape from such an awareness of hell.

It is rather like the wife who is stuck in a loveless marriage to a law-giving husband. Because of her own imperfections, she feels that she isn't really loved at all, but instead remains under the eye of judgement. When another man arrives who shows none of this judgement, it isn't long before she shares his bed. Evolution is perceived as very much like the suitor. It provides an escape from the dire reality of hell, even in the subconscious, perhaps making the faith more appealing, but at the same time denying its reality.  

Sure enough, I have written enough blogs here to demonstrate the significance of what the Atonement made by Jesus Christ on the cross, followed by his Burial and Resurrection three days after his death, all have in reconciliation and restoring us back to God. And by believing this causes the believer to have his spirit regenerated and becomes an eternal child of God. I think I have been pretty clear on all this. But the Bible also says that the wisdom and knowledge God has is beyond understanding (Job 36:26, Romans 11:33). My knowledge is far from infinite - there is many things about God which I am not aware of, and neither would I ever be aware of this side of the grave. But there is one thing that I have an inkling of awareness - and that Hell exists, its eternal, and such a dreadful place was not initially prepared for human habitation. Instead, it was prepared for the Devil and his angels.

I suppose that it's easier to understand that anyone who deliberately side with the Devil in defiance of God's calling may indeed deserve to suffer with the one he was so consciously keen to follow. But the truth is, the vast majority of humans are totally unaware that they have Satan as their "father". Even the Pharisees weren't aware of this (John 8:44), and they all thought that they were doing God's will. Such a concept, straight out of the mouth of Jesus Christ, makes me aware of the millions of Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, alongside followers of all other heretical religions and their eternal destiny. I guess this is part of the wisdom of God which lies outside my finite knowledge. I once looked at a photograph featured in a past issue of The Guinness Book of Records. It showed the world's largest crowd assembled at a public venue. They were all Hindus, men, women and children, who all gathered there for a religious festival. But according to Jesus' own words, recorded in John 14:6, they are all destined for eternal damnation, with most, if not all, totally unaware of this. Indeed, there are times when I question God's love for the world, so popularised by John 3:16.

I don't think it's hardly better here in the UK. For example, were you aware why I was for remaining in the European Union, and against Brexit? I guess the answer to that was concealed in my subconscious, but now, in writing this blog, I became aware of the main reason in my conscious mind. By being part of the European Union was meant for easier access for the Gospel to spread across to the Continent. Instead, we as Christians have become distracted by the want of our island isolation, that we have but forgotten the Gospel altogether. We became so obsessed with our English Bulldog culture, or rather the restoration of it, that we have either forgotten the Gospel, or we were ignorant of the fact that this very Bulldog spirit we hold so dear, is responsible for the blinding of many from the true light of the Gospel.

Perhaps you may argue that throughout the forty plus years we have been in Europe, the Gospel had never spread across the English Channel. Never mind that New Frontiers International, based at a large church in Brighton, had just this in mind, and no doubt efforts were made, but now the need of tougher international barriers to hamper their mission.

This is an unusual blog, I will admit. In general I love to exalt the love of God, his power and his redemption. But this week I wanted to "out" my real thoughts and emotions, to share my doubts which at times plagues me. However, allow me to finish with a bit of Solomon's wisdom:

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgement, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

Ecclesiastes 11:13-14, AV.

A Source of Unneeded Terror

Simon, who has a level of Autism Spectrum Disorder, or ASD, has been a Christian believer for quite a number of years. But having being brought up in the Catholic faith, and becoming deluded with it by the time he reached his late teens. Then one day while killing time in the library, he was suddenly converted after finding a Bible on one of the shelves. Having placed it on a nearby reading desk, it fell open towards the end of the book, on one of the pages with the sub-heading, St John. This is what he read:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; that the world through him might be saved. 

John 3:16-17.

Simon had a more positive feeling about God than he did before he read that passage. He believed that this Jesus, the son of Mary, played a significant role in his salvation, and began to put his trust in him. It was quite a contrast to the Jesus Christ of Catholicism. As he once perceived this long-haired, bearded, Italian-looking fellow to be continuously angry, and constantly critical of the behaviour of those he met and communicated, it was impossible for this lad to see any love within the heart of the man who called himself the Son Of God. If it wasn't for his virgin mother persistently interceding on behalf of sinful mankind, nobody would get into Heaven. To add to this, even the favourites of this Jesus languished in Purgatory, a temporary but a very real Hell where even the smallest of sins committed when alive had to be purged out before being let into Heaven. This purging involved physical suffering to an intensity never experienced by anyone on earth. With threats such as this, little wonder he became disillusioned with his former faith.

Purgatory of Catholic Catechism

Although he was encouraged by the Scripture, his new-found faith raised questions. Mainly this: Why weren't many more believed, if that is all it takes to be saved? And how can he be so sure that he was saved? Has God really acquit him from his sins? Was his faith strong enough, or pointing in the right direction for it to have taken effect? Then a few years later, Simon was browsing on the Internet at home, and came across the most terrifying video that could ever be made. It had its origins from the works of Jack Chick, an American who was famed for his miniature evangelistic cartoon strips and his emphasis on a physical Hell. The video struck terror into Simon's heart, and as he lay in bed that night, he was silently praying while his wife lay asleep beside him.

If this is to be our eternal destiny after death, then why, oh why, did you create us in the first place? Then he turned to see his wife sleeping soundly, and he felt as if another, an even larger spear piercing his heart even further. The very thought of his wife suffering such an eternal fate not only intensify his fear of her welfare, but also a sense of pleading sorrow. How he loved his wife and felt so devoted to her. And even if there were times she might have been cold or disagreeable to him, he could never, never confine her to such eternal suffering! All these emotions, strong as they were, were from the fact that he was never fully freed from Roman Catholicism, and remained locked in the image of an angry God whose wrath was manifest in a critical Jesus Christ as he ministered here on earth some two thousand years previously.

As he walked through the city streets, Simon observed the daily crowd going on their business. He watched young families, especially mothers escorting their infant offspring. At a cafe, he even watched a mother slowly spooning semi-liquid food into her baby son's mouth. All bound for that dreadful place after death? Then as he walked further along the street, he spotted some Hindus and further on, some Muslims. He began to visualise the huge crowd of Muslims, thousands of them, in and around the Kaaba, the head mosque at the Saudi Arabian city of Mecca. And also the multiple thousands of Hindus assembling at the Ganges River in the far east. And were they all heading for that fiery place under their feet, simply because they are following the wrong religion and showing devotion to it? Then at times when he had to visit his doctor, his dentist, or allowed to be served by the checkout attendant at the supermarket. Then all the men and women he watches daily on television. News anchormen, reporters, chat show hosts and their guests, actors, singers, comedians. Then, worst of all, sitting at table with his agnostic parents and atheist brother. Then his mother wonders why he has no appetite.

But it was the sight of the young mother and her son at the cafe which sent shivers down his spine. All throughout the Hindu world, the Muslim world, as well as the Western world, children are constantly being born to parents who know little or nothing about salvation in Christ. This grieved Simon even more. It was a dreadful anomaly from what meant to be perceived as the God of love who sent his Son to atone for their sins. Simon couldn't help thinking: How effective was the atonement Christ made on the cross? If the apostle wrote that in Christ, God has reconciled the world to himself, not imputing their tresspasses against them (2 Corinthians 5:19), and that he that loves not knoweth not God, for God is love (1 John 4:8) seems to blatantly contradicts this fiery Hell as portrayed in the video, yet it is as if nearly the entire human population are heading towards it, as the video shows, a constant rain of lost souls unceasingly falling into the fires below. Simon reasoned that "not knowing God" is a bit like not knowing Fred Bloggs. How can he love Fred if he doesn't know him? Furthermore, would Fred send him to fry forever, because Simon failed to love him? Such thoughts spun in his head.

If Simon loved his wife so much, he couldn't bear see his wife suffer, not even for a moment, let alone eternally. He then reasoned that the Christian faith, like all religions, is based on fear. Fear of punishment. For Simon grew to believe that the reality of this fiery Hell has prevented him from loving God as his Heavenly Father, because he finds it difficult to love a deity who is capable of condemning billions to relentless torture. Instead, in fear he makes an effort to stay clean. But there is a problem. Although he is happily married and very devoted to his wife, in the church where he attends, there is another female whose presence arouses his sexual desire. He see her there nearly every week, and he goes home and to bed fantasising her with himself, arms entwined. He even uses the fantasy to help him sleep. But he also knows that this is wrong. And it is this aroused desire which makes him doubt his salvation and dreading what could happen if he died right there and then.

Then, as Simon lays on his bed, he ponders: What right has he to be an inheritor of eternal glory when there are so many around him who are not so fortunate? Pretty frightening too, is the thought of being born as a Muslim or Hindu, or from a remote jungle tribe cut off from civilization as we know it, or for that matter, from atheist but well educated parents. So much distress, how can such a mountain of burden be borne solely on one human heart? After all, does this Jesus Christ have any love in his heart, knowing that such a huge percentage of the human population is perishing? Or does he cry out Woe! Woe! Woe! - as he did one day at the Pharisees? But furthermore, how can he prove that this Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the Anointed One, the Jewish Messiah, is the Way to eternal life? And not Mohammed or any of the Hindu or Buddhist deities and their scriptures? 

I approach Simon and asked him if watching the video has edified him. He tells me that just the opposite of edify is to terrify, and that has what the video has done for him. He also explained that any love he had for God has been replaced by a deep fear of him, together with an apparently justifiable case that if God has reconciled the world to himself, not imputing their tresspasses against them, how is it that God has prepared such a terrible place for lost souls? I try to explain that the Lake of Fire was never intended for mankind, but was prepared for the Devil and his angels, according to Matthew 25:41. It was never God's intention for any man or woman to go there. Then by testifying that the way to life is through Jesus, I opened the Bible to Isaiah 53, and read out to him these words:

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. 

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us turned to his own way, and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:3-6.

I then asked him, "Who have met such credentials?"

Simon replied, "None other than Jesus."

I then advised him never again watch such videos on the Internet, or watch or read anything that does not edify, because unless the material builds up your faith and brings out your love for the Lord, then more than likely, such material is not from God - even if it looks fully orthodox and Biblical. For Jesus died to atone for our sins, to bring us peace, and that we can enjoy life, not tremble in terror. After all, no living person has ever been to Hell, nobody knows what it really looks like. 

"But what about those who do not know the Gospel?" Simon asked.

Well, according to Paul's letter to the church in Rome, he wrote that his voice has gone out to all the earth, his words to the end of the world (Romans 10:18). And that was quoted from Psalm 19:4 which reads:

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.

Their voice go out to all the earth, their words to the end of the world.

Psalm 19:1-4.

The love of Christ is beyond comprehension...

And the Gospel of John opens with the assurance that the true light which shines into every man was coming into the world (John 1:9). Simon then concluded, 

"If a man in Hell asks, 'Why am I here?' then I could answer by asking, 'Why did you reject such a loving God?'"

Then Simon turned and walked away.  

Reality Strikes!

One of the  elements after becoming a Christian believer is that you quickly learn the fundamentals - you know what I mean - the Holy Trinity, the Bible being the inspired Word of God, the Creation and Fall of mankind, man's inherited sinful nature, the incarnation of the Son of God, his death on the cross to atone for man's sins, his Resurrection on the third day, his Ascension, the need to repent and believe the Gospel, Salvation, Heaven and Hell.

 

And so I move on in the faith - praying, reading the Bible, regular church attendance, morning quiet times and spending each day of my life attempting to please God in thankfulness for the salvation he has provided. I assure myself that it is purely by God's grace that I am saved, works alone unable to bring me even a millimetre closer to God. But I also have relatives and loved ones who, by the way it looks, continue to remain unbelievers, and so I feel concern for their eternal being. I recall one Sunday when both my wife and I had a roast at my elderly parent's house, and on that day I crept upstairs into their master bedroom, almost in tears, and pleaded to God for their salvation. That was several years ago. Now, as I write this, my father having passed away just over a week earlier.

 

Both my parents were Roman Catholics, but not ardent, church-going Catholics, but more nominal. However, during my teens when I passed through a period of atheism before conversion in 1972, Dad had always maintained that there is a God, and he exists. I suppose he classed himself as an agnostic. I think he always had a gripe against the Church. When he was a boy, he spent the war years living in a convent, with nuns supervising him on a day-to-day basis. Then one Sunday, he took Holy Communion without first confessing his sins to a priest. This was by no means malicious, but a sincere wanting to take part in the Sacrifice of Christ. He either forgot to make his confession beforehand, or he felt that it was not a necessity. When one of the nuns found out about this, her hand crashed with full force across his face. I think this has given him a chip on his shoulder for the rest of his life.

 

Yet despite all this, he always stood in defence for the Catholic Church. Although he might have accepted the Reformation under Martin Luther and other Reformists as history, to him, the modern Protestant denominations have their roots in America, and he saw them as little more than money-making businesses with a religious front. For example, he would lump both the Baptist Union headquarters with the Watchtower Society as based in America, along with the Mormons (a true fact, as I have stood outside the splendid Mormon Temple at Salt Lake City, along with exploring the Visitors Center. In turn, I gazed at the more plain-looking office blocks of the Watchtower Society from the middle of Brooklyn Bridge at New York City.) Dad, being a socialist, linked capitalism with greed, which unfortunately with the bonus-hungry attitude of the City Bankers bringing in the last Recession, such an opinion had been proven justified. In short, my late father linked Christianity with money and greed.

 

But from Sunday to Sunday the Bible is preached in pulpits all over the western world, the threat of Hell for unbelievers and the promise of Heaven for the saved. There are teachings from those who believe in eternal security of the believer, and those who insist that one must stay faithful to be saved (that is to say: Probational Salvation.) The Catholic church, in turn, must keep on offering bloodless sacrifices (a large wafer disc known as a Sacred Host) on altars in churches all over the world, repeating over and over again the one sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, or no one would be saved. Confessions must be made at least once a year, Penance must be carried out, along with the Act of Contrition. Really, there is no assurance of all sins forgiven at the moment of death. So I go through life wondering just where is this love God is supposed to have for us.

 

Christians have said that if you want to find the love of God, then look nowhere else but the Cross of Christ. So that is true, at least intellectually. But when someone you love dies, and afterwards feel no assurance, to tell the truth, I wonder just how effective the crucifixion of Christ really was. Did you know that, for a start, the Roman Catholic Church denies the full efficiency of the atonement made by Jesus Christ on the cross? That is why the Church believes in Purgatory, a temporary Hell where every believer must go to have his venial sins purged out before entering Heaven. In the past, Indulgences were sold by the Church, which once bought, brought relief of a shorter time spent in Purgatory. That is to say that the rich can buy themselves out of Hell while the poor had to bear the full brunt of their punishment. It was this idea which fired up good old Martin Luther and his discovery that salvation was by faith alone. It might also be a reason why my father had a chip on his shoulder over the Church and was deluded with capitalism. 

 

Then not long after this, the continual debate whether one is eternally saved or conditionally saved rages on over the centuries. At times I can get fed up with it all. Rather than read bits of Scripture to prove one argument or to disprove another, at the moment I'm asking myself: Is there an afterlife? If so, then where is Dad right now? The very thought of a lost eternity had made my heart very grievous, in fact it was aching all week. I had imaginings of raging fire, or persistently bullied by demons, or floating in despair in thick darkness, haunted by memories of all the good things he had enjoyed in life. And so you can find terrifying videos of Hell on You-Tube, or log into one of many websites on Google, none of them edifying in any way but has the power to strike terror into the soul and deeply question God's character. And so I imagine such a loved one in such a dreadful environment and the screw is turned further. Then there are preachers like John McArthur and Paul Washer, both Lordship Salvationists, and both American. It was of interest that I have listened to one of Washer's sermons, delivered at a Californian Youth Conference and recorded in full on video. It had a warning preceding the talk that there were bits that were very unpleasant. I wasn't surprised. He began his talk with the announcement that the vast majority of the young people listening in the auditorium will be in Hell within sixty to seventy years from the year of the conference. And that was for not taking the Lordship of Christ serious enough to make a full unconditional surrender to the will of God, ensuring that one does not sin along the way.

I think that was a shocking thing to say to a congregation of young people who, having arrived at puberty, most likely were struggling between their faith, church and their strong sexual desires. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating porn, fornication, "free love" or masturbation - but by going by my own experience, being a young believer (or in my case, an unmarried adult) with a strong sexual drive often result in difficult struggles with the Christian faith. It does make me wonder why these preachers don't just simply say that believing in Jesus Christ as the risen Messiah, and as such, Almighty God himself, is enough for salvation. Instead, these preachers impose what is actually an impossible burden to bear. A burden which insists that a sin can either cause a believer to lose his salvation, or a proof that he was never saved in the first place, which could mean that the thirty or forty years of service was proved a waste of a life before the sin or falling away took place.

Probably this was why some Old Testament saints got married early in life; such as Abraham, Isaac and David. I can't say for sure at this time how old Abraham or Isaac were when they married Sarah and Rebecah respectively, but I can be more sure that young David was still in his teens when he married one of King Saul's daughters, as a reward for slaying Goliath. But even then, David found it difficult to keep his flies buttoned up other than for his wife, and ended up with a harem of ten concubines, on top of another man's wife Bathsheba. Not to mention Abraham sleeping with Hagar, Sarah's servant, to satisfy his wife's desire for a son, and then bedding with other women after the death of his wife. Yet it is agreed among all believers that all three - Abraham, Isaac, and King David were saved and went to Paradise after death. On the other hand, my father has been faithful to his wife - dear Mum - all through his married life, and furthermore, has no known record of any sleeping around before meeting his future wife. And yet, is he lost? Sometimes I can't help thinking that this whole Biblical shenanigan is grossly unfair. Yet preachers like McArthur and Washer, along with many others, makes a big issue on sex, marriage and the single person.

My dad believed that Jesus Christ existed, but rather than dying on the cross to atone for our sins, he believed that Jesus was a teacher who reformed the world, and was crucified by cruel men. Many Christians would say that this was not enough to save him. But what did he really believe on that day when he took Communion "illegally" as a boy? Yes, Jesus did say on one occasion that unless you believe that I am (he) you will perish (John 8:24.) But the same writer also wrote that anyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God (1 John 5:1) - a promise backed by Peter's testimony to the Jews in Jerusalem on the day of Pentecost recorded in the second chapter in the book of Acts. Sometimes I tend to believe that far more people will go to Heaven after death than what we think. I, for one, have been taught that only "born again Christians" are saved. So it is true. But what does the Bible defines a "born again" believer? The one who believes that Jesus is the risen Christ, the Messiah, the Son of God. Did my father believe in his heart that Jesus is the Son of God? I am not in a position to say either yes or no. What went on in his heart, especially when he was young, only God knows. Perhaps a bit like Ananias and Sapphira in the 5th chapter of Acts. We are told that they have conspired to lie to the Holy Spirit about the money they have donated. They both died on the spot. But Luke, who narrated the incident, does not tell us of their eternal state. Like with me, it was not up to him to decide.

So the world turns. We evaluate a believer's faith by the way he performs. Did the driver of the car you are in swear and cursed the idiot of the vehicle in front for nearly causing a collision? Then tut-tut, he cannot be a true believer, even if he holds in his heart that Jesus is the Christ. And what I have seen throughout life, the steering wheel of a car is the one hot seat for swearing and cursing. For one who has real faith, I guess such a hard swerve taken to avoid a crash would result in a calm emotional reaction. Road rage is certainly not Christ-like, and therefore the one with such high emotions can't be a true believer! So we are conditioned to think and believe what a true Christian should be like. Unfortunately for my late Dad, who was very fond of being in control of a vehicle, venomous expletives were not uncommon, particularly to an elderly female Sunday driver at the front of a slow-moving queue of vehicles creeping along a constantly hilly and bending road.

I sit and mull over my thoughts and emotions. For a guy like myself who has some interest and knowledge of world geography, I ponder over countries like the Middle East, India and the Far East, where Islam, Hindu and Buddhism reign. I think of countless families who have never heard of Jesus Christ, and as I imagine tiny babies being born all the time, and toddlers slowly being fed by patient mothers, only to grow up without ever knowing about Jesus Christ, let alone having a relationship with him, and to die and pass on into a lost eternity - I wonder how God could have demonstrated his love? Can I really say that the Englishman, with is stoic self-reserve, his stiff upper lip, and his home as his castle, as being closer to God than a family in India who is much more open and hospitable to strangers - simply because he was lucky enough to be born and raised in a "Christian country"? If that had always been the case, then I wonder why, during the early 17th Century when the English took over the governing of India, the indigenous remained stubbornly Hindu?

As one 1970s pop song goes: There are more questions than answers - with every answer raising a dozen more questions, so is the mystery of the afterlife. I cannot say where the spirit of my late father is - whether in Heaven or in Hell - or even whether he is conscious at all. But one thing I do know, and that is God, who made the Universe and this planet, and breathed into every creature the breath of life, holds everything in his hand and nothing can occur outside his realm.

What is Hell? Pt 1 - The Fall of Lucifer

The idea of Hell as a place of eternal fire where one burns for ever and ever after death was something I grew up with since childhood, as a Roman Catholic, this was the central issue peddled by the Vatican. The Catechism has always insisted that after death, the discarnate souls of the unsaved  suffer intense pain, at a level nothing here on Earth can match. When I was converted to faith in Jesus Christ as Saviour, I have found that this teaching of a literal eternal hellfire remained unchallenged within the Protestant faith. Even just a few years ago, I came across the front cover of a Christian magazine carrying a snapshot of Methodist minister, preacher and author David Pawson, who looked as if to be smirking. Behind the snapshot was an image of a volcanic lava lake, very much like that of  Kilauea Crater on the Hawaiian summit of Mauna Loa.

The message Pawson was immediately conveying on the cover was not addressed to unbelievers, although he firmly insist that all of the unsaved will end up in such a lake. Rather, the cover illustration was about the fate of true Christian believers who had either slipped from their faith, failed to overcome their sinful desires, sinned wilfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, or for that matter, divorce and then re-marry. Such believers, according to Pawson, will lose their salvation and end up in the lake of fire.

It is of little wonder that Catholicism and Arminian theology (of which Pawson advocates) has led to liberalism and spawned a crowd of atheists, who visualise God as a crushingly cruel tyrant and sadistic bully whose existence is an offence to human intelligence. Darwinism, for one, grew to mainly discredit Biblical Creationism, and once this had been achieved, then the Christian faith is robbed of all merit altogether. To the educated and the academic, the idea of a literal hellfire remain in the imagination of the deluded.

Yet the fiery hell of the Catholic faith continues to be preached by eminent men of the evangelical Protestant faith. Authors and preachers such as David Pawson, Dan Corner, Fred Phelps, Hal Lindsey, Dave Hunt, Norman Robertson, Tim LaHaye and a host of others all agree on the issue of a literal place of burning for the unsaved dead.

In Matthew 25:41-43, we read of the Lord Jesus teaching this:

Then he will say to those on his left (hand) "Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me."

And John wrote this in Revelation:

And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulphur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.
Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them.
And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done.
Then death and hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death.
If any one's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.
Revelation 20:10-15.

Little wonder that the teaching of a literal fire of hell is believed on by both Catholic and Protestant faiths! But as I emphasised in the two passages above, the lake of fire was prepared for the devil and his angels. Apparently, God's intention in creating man was not to perish in a fiery lake. The whole intention of creation was to share and partake in the intense love existing between Father, Son and Holy Spirit, a Trinitarian love which had existed from eternity past and will continue into eternity future. Accompanying this love is peace and joy, a high form of happiness. They make a magnificent combination of emotions that are entirely unspoilt by any sin or its consequences. And it is, and will be, ours for the taking.

The angelic realm was created before the Universe, the planet Earth and mankind. God did not want his creation to be automatons, loving him by force or even by obligation. So God gave each angel free will, the ability to love and serve willingly.

Lucifer was the chief of the angelic realm. Apparently, he was to be guardian of the planet Earth, and according to Ezekiel 28:13 in the KJV, he was given the role of worship leader of the entire realm. It is worth quoting the entire text from the KJV:

Son of man, take up a lamentation the king of Tyrus and say unto him, Thus says the Lord GOD; Thou sealed up the sum, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty.
Thou hast been in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was thy covering, the sardius (ruby), topaz and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold: the workmanship of thy tabrets (harps) and of thy pipes were prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created.
Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; and I have set thee so: thou wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire.
Thou wast perfect in all thy ways from the day thou was created, till iniquity was found in thee.
Ezekiel 28:12:15.

Until iniquity was found in you! How could it happen?

Lucifer was startlingly handsome, of glittering beauty. I believe that he had a double role of leading the entire realm in worship to God, he was also put in charge of our planet. The whole of evil originated in the heart of this being. How could this happen? After all, this guy had absolutely everything one could wish for. He was stunningly rich, he had need of nothing, he never grew up in a slum environment, neither did he ever experienced poverty or hardship. His work was a joy, not a burdensome task. I would go as far to say that he was fulfilling the happy roles we as true believers will one day fulfill in God's presence for ever. Then it happened.

Worshipping God was not enough for Lucifer. He wanted to be God himself. As pride filled his heart, he was in effect saying, "Move over, God. I want to be the centre and focal point of worship from now on."

When this was denied, Lucifer shook his fist at God and dared the whole realm to leave their established positions and follow him as leader and ruler of his own kingdom, to be set up on our planet. Amazingly, a third of the entire angelic population made up their minds to accept Lucifer as their leader as they were thrown out of the heavenly realm to settle upon the Earth. The other two thirds, however, remained true to God.

Students of the Bible are not sure when this particular event occurred. Some think that it occurred after Adam and Eve were created, and Lucifer arrived on this planet from Heaven to tempt Eve by speaking audibly to her through a snake. Others, including myself, believe in the "Gap Theory." This means that there was a period of time between Genesis 1:1 and verse two. The fall and rebellion of Lucifer took place before Adam and Eve were created. Verse two says that after God created the heavens and the earth, that the earth was without form and void. The Hebrew words for "Without form and void" indicates a state of chaos. If Lucifer rebelled after the creation of the Earth but before the six day creation, this could indicate that Lucifer's rebellion threw the planet into chaos, and God had to make sweeping changes to render it habitable for mankind.

Lucifer, which, after the fall, became known as Satan and the Devil, took full charge of man's affairs, but already knowing of his coming defeat when God promised that the seed of the woman will bruise his head.

The crucifixion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ sealed Lucifer's fate. As promised, he and his angels are destined for the lake of fire. Which leads to a problem worth considering. Is the lake of fire literal?

What is fire? For flames to exist, something material and tangible must be consumed by burning. Fire burns wood, paper and coal. It has the power to turn iron red hot and eventually melt it. Volcanic lava is heated rock, mainly basalt. Lucifer and his angels are spirits who has never had physical bodies. If that is true, then how could literal fire hurt them?

And this leads us to the question: If the Catholic Church insists that discarnate spirits of the unsaved dead are thrown into a literal lake of fire, then without bodies to consume, how would the fire affect them? And what is being consumed by the fire? And returning to the subject of Lucifer, if before his fall he was wearing precious stones, how could this be relevant if this guy was (and still is) a spirit and had no body? Were the precious stones to be taken literally?

In Revelation 20:10-15, along with Matthew 25:41-46 a fiery end is stated for the wicked. In Matthew 13:42 a fiery furnace is also stated by Jesus Christ. Yet in Matthew 8:12, 22:13 and 25:30, there is talk about eternal darkness. This seem to indicate something like outer space, where there is complete darkness, with nothing tangible or of any source of light. There seems to be an inconsistency between literal fire and this darkness. Fire is a source of light. For millennia, fire was always used for torchlight. Could this eternal fire and outer darkness be illustrations of the state of being separated from God's presence?

That, I believe, is a strong possibility. Although I'm being cautious here, the idea of fire and darkness being illustrations seems to be backed by the statement, "weeping and gnashing of teeth," which appears in all verses, along with Matthew 24:51 where the sinner is thrown out of the banquet.

Weeping and gnashing of teeth indicates mental and emotional torment, including anger, along with a sharp feeling of regret, rather than physical pain. Experience has shown that physical pain result in screaming and hollering. We don't seem to see any of this in the Bible, but much about weeping and gnashing of teeth (gnashing of teeth indicating anger at his own decision to reject Christ as Saviour during his lifetime). Another indication of emotional torment is found in Luke 13:28. Here we are told that unbelieving Jews will be thrust out of the Kingdom of God. Again we see the emotional torment of weeping and gnashing of teeth, but this time as these sinners see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob sitting inside. It is important to note at this point that the mental and emotional anger and torment will be experienced by both the fallen angelic realm and lost sinners alike.

What can we conclude from all this? That every lost sinner will be shut out from the Kingdom of God, most likely in outer darkness. They will be in mental and emotional torment as if immersed in fire. They will have very strong desires for love and company, but these will eternally remain unfulfilled as their separation from God will also result in intense loneliness. They would have had a glimpse of the magnificent beauty of the Heavenly Jerusalem, and even recognise believers whom they mocked and laughed at during their lifetimes. This will add a deep sense of regret when they realise that all this was offered to them, if only they would have believed.

There is no need to be condemned to eternal separation from God. Jesus Christ is right now offering a free gift of salvation to all who would receive it by faith.

In my next blog, I shall be looking at the rich man and Lazarus, found in Luke 16.

Your comments on this topic would be welcome. God bless.