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Showing posts with label Divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Divorce. Show all posts

Saturday, 7 July 2018

The Real Meaning for Living...

There is one true story which occurred in the not-too-distant past. A couple who has been married for more than twenty years had drifted apart until the husband found himself in a relationship with an office colleague half his age. Pretty and youthful this office colleague happened to be, and full of vitality, such a growing relationship has settled in his mind that divorce from his longstanding wife was inevitable After all, compared to his new partner, she was gradually becoming thin and apparently weak. So he arrived home one evening and presented his divorce papers to her to sign.

She did not react to the news with any drama. It was as if she had already saw it coming. Instead, she will agree to sign the divorce procedure if he will first make a vow to carry her across the threshold every morning for a month, like he did on their wedding night, before he drives off to the office. He thought of this as burdensome, but reluctantly agreed to the deal.

And so the next morning he carried his wife through the front door before leaving for work. He thought of it as a nuisance but he was also surprised to see how his teenage children reacted with positive gestures. Morning after morning, as he carried his wife across the threshold, not only the act began to be less of a burden, but he began to enjoy it. He also realised that his kids were beginning to expect the gesture as a new normality and quickly became accustomed to watching it.

He began to feel the same affection revive towards her as when she was a young bride. Also, his feelings for his work colleague also began to wane until the day he explained to her that his love for his own wife was far more real than he imagined, therefore must bring this affair to an end. The husband grew more and more fond of his wife as he carried her through the threshold each morning, as he also watched his son and daughter both looking far happier as well as showing a rise in schoolwork performance and markings.

Even before the month has finally passed, the two sat on the sofa, looking into each other's eyes with love and affection, both knowing that their marriage had revived to full robustness, but the sadness in her eyes arousing his curiosity, he asked what the matter was.

"I did not want to tell you or want our children to know, but I have terminal cancer. I had it for the last couple of years, and whilst you were at work, I made frequent trips to both the doctor's office and hospital alike. After diagnosis and some treatment, they all agreed that there is no lasting cure."

Not long after this, she died, leaving behind her husband, son and daughter.

And that is a true story. Some of you readers may already be familiar with it. A video version of the story appeared on my Facebook wall earlier this year. It is a kind of story which sticks in the mind, never able to forget it. And it has made a big impression in my life, allowing me to reflect on the health of our own marriage and to improve on any necessary area.



Looking at the Biblical perspective, it looks to me that this is the purpose of all mankind, together with a love and spiritual devotion to God. It is a bit like a triune relationship - God, husband, wife. Not surprising in a way, for our Trinitarian God is also a God who is love, according to 1 John 4:7-8.

God is Love, not merely a source of love. For example, how the Father loves the Son and the Holy Spirit! How the Son loves the Father and the Holy Spirit! How the Holy Spirit loves the Father and the Son! The eternal Trinity had never needed an object for him to love, for his love is within himself.

And so with his initial Creation. After creating the heavens and the earth in six literal days, he formed Adam out of the ground - a supernatural occurrence which never happened ever again. Adam stood up and acknowledged God as his Creator. Not long after, God brought all land creatures for Adam to give names to. With every known species arriving in pairs for the naming ceremony, poor Adam began to realise that there was something seriously wrong.

Whilst every species consisted of a single pair, a male with a female mate, he saw that he was alone. He knew that he was never able to pair up with a horse, hippopotamus or even a monkey, yet he missed a mate for himself. At least God knew of Adam's problem. So he caused him to fall into a deep sleep, a kind of being under anesthesia, except without the gas or fluid administered. From Adam's side a rib was taken and from it he created a woman. When Adam eventually woke up after the completion of the operation and saw her, he became wildly excited, and with joy, exclaimed, 
At last! Flesh of my flesh and bones of my bones. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Genesis 2:18-25.

How the trio were happy in the Garden of Eden. That is, until curiosity had gotten the better of Eve in particular, over a certain tree planted in the middle of the garden. Strange in a way, had it been me, I would have been racing for the Tree of Life, and by eating its fruit, seal my immortality. But Eve had other ideas - her quest for power. And she knew where to get it, so she believed. Because there, a talking snake bade her to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. A talking snake? Yes, a talking snake, and neither Adam or Eve were taken aback on what they were witnessing. And why should I be so skeptical? Is it because I had never seen or heard a talking animal of any kind? Indeed it takes faith to believe in it, very much like that of the Meteor Crater in Arizona. I have never seen the meteor or its moment of impact as it struck the ground, but I have no qualms in believing that is exactly what happened. It is a matter of faith.

Meteor Crater, Arizona


The quest for power, an elevating from human to divinity by means of eating from this particular tree. Godhood! - the means of attaining knowledge which was at that moment still out of their reach, and once attained, to become like God himself. It is a form of evolution, to transform upward from one level to a higher plane. Their attempt to become like God resulted in exactly the opposite - a fall from perfection into a state of sin and death, demonstrating the serpent's deceit as the Edenic Lie. 

When they discovered that they had fallen rather than elevated, guilt set in and found themselves embarrassed by their nakedness, and in their duel attempt to make it up to God, they began to sew fig leaves together and to make aprons to cover their embarrassment. Then when God himself appeared in the garden, the couple realised that their aprons had no effect at all in making atonement. Therefore God, with total disregard of their aprons, had to slay an innocent animal substitute and, with its skin, clothe them himself before driving them out of the garden. But they also believed the Promise made by God to the serpent of the coming Seed of the Woman which will eventually slay the creature. It was by believing this revelation which turned Adam and Eve into saints, the acquittal from sin and God's own righteousness credited to their accounts by grace through faith in his revelation of a future Messiah (Genesis 3:15).

Although acquitted in their spirits, their bodies remain sinful and therefore still had to be driven out of the Garden and be permanently clothed. Furthermore, while their spirits after death may go to be with Christ, their bodies goes to the grave and remain there. This is quite easy to realise. For a start, nobody would leave his house entirely naked. Even in hot weather, the least one would wear is a pair of shorts and if going to a public area, a shirt too. Even the most devoted of Christian believers cannot`be out at a public square entirely naked - such embarrassment would be too much! The fact that no other species of animal wear clothing puts Darwin in a difficult situation here, even if the grave awaits both man and beast alike. Indeed, we all wear clothing - not so much to keep ourselves warm in cold weather but as a direct result of the Fall.

Here I'm not advocating myth or poetry. Rather, I'm narrating history. Actual real historic truth of the first chapters of the Bible. In other words, every historic account documented recorded in the Bible had happened. And it is in this matter of supernatural Creation, the Fall and the Flood where I will make a stand in a secular world of Lyell's Uniformitarianism and Darwin's Evolution. If anyone laughs or teases me, or the ultimate worst - to ignore me, I would not renege. For to deny the historicity of Adam and Eve as our first parents is to deny Christ and his Atonement made on the Cross. 

To believe in Evolution comes from this sense of pride and arrogance along with the avoidance from the belief in Judgement, as well as the belief in much of this type of learning elevating the student towards divinity which is in accordance with the Edenic Lie. The worst thing about all this is that such heresy is often preached from the church pulpit, leaving the preacher unaware that by such talk, he has denied Christ and advocated the Edenic Lie.  

Ah, pride of achievement - to be elevated into some form of divine realm. The Edenic lie lives on. While I'm writing this, I have just found out that in the World Cup tournament, England has beaten Sweden to make it into the semi-finals for the first time after 28 years. Actually, there is nothing wrong in any of that. It is a football contest, meant to be taken as entertainment, a leisure pursuit, something which everybody need for a distraction from day-to-day mundane and humdrum living. Personally, I prefer watching athletics, including the Triathlon. Such viewing is for me vicariously partaking in the sport which I actually competed in during my younger years. Nostalgia indeed. But why there is so much celebration over England's placing in the tournament while very little ado is made when Britain did well in the Olympics, I cannot say. Whether it's the World Cup or the Olympics, there is nothing wrong in winning a sporting contest, whether it's local or international.

As I wrote last week, if England does win the trophy, this - combined with Brexit - will lead to arrogance at its highest level, and that is what I find to be a threat. Winning an international football contest is one thing. Becoming arrogant is quite another. As I see it, this is one of the oddities of life. 

When two British brothers both won medals, one Gold, the other Bronze, in the 2012 London Olympic Triathlon, I was glad for them (the Silver went to a Spaniard). No sense of arrogance. Instead, this was one event I purposely took time off work to watch with thorough enjoyment. The joy of watching the Sporting Trinity of swimming, cycling and running - three disciplines in one race, was exuberant, as I recall more than thirty years earlier when I could be seen in the midst of all other triathletes competing in the event, whether in a mass-start as in the Olympic event, or through one-by-one pool feed as characteristic of smaller, inter-club events. This is what I believe is enjoying watching sport, especially those events I myself took part in.

Competing at a Triathlon, Winchester, 1987.


The World Cup patriotic spirit, as I see it, is very different from the joy of watching the Olympic Triathlon. For example, the English oft-used phrase, the Cup is coming home, is a misnomer for a start. Maybe not many realise this (I didn't either until this week), but when FIFA wanted the design for a new trophy after 1970 to replace the French Jules Rimet cup, won by England in 1966, various new designs were submitted. Among 53 applications, FIFA accepted one submitted by Italian artist Silvio Gazzaniga of two figures holding up a globe. It was manufactured near Milan in readiness for the 1974 World Cup, which was won by Germany. Therefore the proper home of the World Cup trophy is Italy, not England.

But I fear the English will not see it that way. To them, the Cup is coming home. As Guardian journalist Jonathan Agnew had written in his brilliant newspaper article, the English feel they have special rights to forever hold the Cup, as having held history's greatest empire, they proudly see themselves as superior to all other nations, a nation out to win every battle, whether it's a war or international football - and also ahead of the evolutionary scale.

The Edenic Lie once again at work here. By heck, will it ever diminish? 

It goes to show that the Bible is indeed historically accurate after all. And that is something to be well concerned about. Because if the Bible can be so accurate on the origins of humanity, could it be that what it says about the final destiny is also accurate when it comes to arrogance being a gateway to a lost eternity? Pretty heavy stuff!

Surely, life must be much better than Nationalism with its arrogant pride, which itself is a highway to Hell. It must have a far greater, a more meaningful purpose than either patriotism or international football can provide. Rather, God initial creation was a man and a woman to love God and each other, a triune set up. And for the Earth to be filled with beautiful people, all loving towards each other and all honouring the Great King. And one day this will come.

I really hope that that dear wife who died with cancer also had faith in Christ. And her husband and her children too, having faith in Christ. Because really, that was a heart-rending story. But it has also brought out the real reason - the only reason - why we are here:
To love God and to love our wives and our neighbour. Now that is living! 

Sunday, 8 January 2012

The Fruit Of The Spirit Is Love...

In this blog, along with those following, I like to look at the well known text, Galatians 5:22, which reads:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control, against such things there is no law.

I included this verse of Scripture in my last blog, All Things Work Out For Good... published January 3rd, 2012. In this article, let's take a look on the first one love.

It is an interesting that Paul here writes "fruit" in the singular, and not in the plural, as he lists nine virtues here. This brings to my mind an image of an orange. An orange is one fruit, but once the rind is peeled, a number of segments are exposed, in this case, eight. Furthermore, each segment of the orange is complete in itself, each having its own skin, which means that all eight segments can be separated yet each remaining intact and without risk of any damage. But all together within the protection of the rind which covers them, it is one fruit, and to me the orange represent all which the eight segments represent - love.

An Orange cut in half reveals eight segments

First, let us point out that God is Love (1 John 4:8). That is more than saying that God has love. True pure love had always, and will always, exist between the three persons of the Godhead, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The other eight listed virtues are just all different characteristics of this one love. Because God has existed from eternity past in three persons, God is complete in himself. He never needed to be loved by anyone outside the Godhead, neither does he ever feel the need to love anyone. This is quite a contrast to the Allah of the Muslims or the Jehovah of the Watchtower, both being lonely entities in eternity past, before initiating Creation. Instead, the true God is all in all, perfect and complete. But it was his pleasure to share his love with creation, and that was the reason why God created the earth and put mankind on it, to reveal his love for him, for man to share in the love of the Trinity and at the same time, lovingly care for all other life on the planet and to have dominion over it. All of God's creation was perfect, including our first parents, Adam and Eve.

But when sin entered the world through Eve's deception and Adam's disobedience, a separation took place between God and mankind, and mankind has been struggling ever since, including attempting to get right with God by self effort, the basis of all what is called religion.

In my last post, I shared my experience of being terrified of Hell just after Christmas Day. I then examined the source of this fear and discovered that it was caused by God temporarily withdrawing his presence as part of his discipline to me as his son, to partake in his holiness. Not only is God being love, he is the source of all life. Therefore, for life to exist, God has to be present in order for the life to be sustained.

Death is the cessation of life. It is the result when God withdraws his presence entirely. When a saint, or true Christian believer dies, only his body ceases to live, and that is destined for the grave. His soul goes immediately to Heaven to be in the full presence of God. But when the unbelieving sinner dies, his soul is forever separated from the presence of the living God, who is love and perfect holiness. It is this separation and banishment from his presence which,I believe, defines Hell.

But while we are alive, every single person, even the unbeliever, enjoys the presence of God up to a certain degree in his life. Various Scripture teaches this. First, we have John 1:9 saying that the true light which shines in every man was coming into the world. Isaiah 49:6 also says that Christ will be a light to the gentiles. Also Romans 1:19-21 God has made his presence felt and seen through Creation, and verse 21 says that God is in them, that is, the unbelievers (KJV) or they knew God (NIV). In Romans 2:4 Paul writes that the goodness of God is with them, along with patience, riches and forbearance. The conscience is by means of distinguishing right from wrong, it is a guiding light from God and every person has it. But the best known verse is John 3:16 which says that God so loved the world. So every person alive has the presence of God in his life. I believe that alongside conscience and a level of light shone into the person, this also what sustains the heartbeat, the flow of the bloodstream, the digestive system and breathing (most of the time) and the magnificent immune system, protecting the body from disease-bearing foreign bugs. All these indicate the presence of God in the person, sustaining him, loving him, for the purpose of repentance, forgiveness of sins, reconciliation to God, and eternal life, which is the eternal presence of the Life-Giver. Therefore we can say that physical death is the complete withdrawal of God's presence, resulting in the cessation of bodily life.

A friend of mine once said to me that surely God could not have loved the Iraqi dictator, the late Saddam Hussein. I replied by quoting John 3:16, even when it was hard to imagine God loving such a person. But loved him he did, as with Adolf Hitler, Lenin, Joseph Stalin and other notorious dictators. God's grace was available to them during their lives as it is to us now.

And now let us go back to the creation of Adam and Eve. One of God's chief principles of the whole of Creation is for Christ, who himself is God, to have a people for himself, so intimate that these people are likened to a bride. When a person repents and believes in Jesus as Saviour, the presence of God in his life becomes more real, due to the re-birth of the man's spirit, the receiving of eternal life and becoming the home of the indwelling Holy Spirit. The saved person becomes a member of the church, which is the bride of Christ. And I think this is why there is both male and female. Of course, the idea of a couple in the biological sense is procreation, to produce children. But there is a mystical connection between the marriage of a man to a woman and of Jesus Christ and his Church. Therefore, marriage is a kind of figure, the husband
is the figure of Jesus Christ, the wife as his Church, the bride of Christ, a model of which God foresaw from eternity past.

But let me here say that there are many unmarried Christians in the churches, as there have always been. I myself have been an unmarried Christian for nearly 27 years. Paul the Apostle himself was unmarried, a rare occurrence in Jewish life, and yet he wrote a lot about marriage. Therefore does a single person become less of a member of the Bride of Christ than a married man? By no means! A single Christian is every bit a member of the Bride as the married.

But the husband represents Christ. Just as the Lord Jesus was the breadwinner by leading a perfect, sin-free life and so to speak, earned his right to lay down his life to redeem us, so I believe that the man was designed by God with the in-built trait for productivity and to provide for his wife and family. But more than that, a husband should love his wife and be devoted to her in the same way as Christ loves the church and is fully devoted to her. The rise in feminism and the woman's liberation movement was caused by, I believe, the man's lack of showing proper love to his wife. Many men were dominant, others had a way of making their wives feel inferior or subjective to them without receiving the love, devotion and protection they deserved. Here in the UK, it is considered wimpish or lacking masculinity to show emotion, other than the emotion of anger, considered by some as "a true masculine trait". In turn, British newspaper journalists praise the British stoicism and the stiff upper lip as being "proper masculine traits" but unfortunately had the potential in leading to an environment where there was lack of love and affection in the home.

According to the latest statistics, one in three marriages end in divorce here in the UK. Some years ago I watched a TV documentary on the rise of divorces in Britain. One couple was featured in the programme on why this particular middle-aged husband was cooling towards his wife of more than twenty years. After intensive interviewing, she finally admitted that she had been attending night college and studied for a qualification that would launch her into a career which would give her independence. Having been brought up to be the traditional breadwinner, he felt that her prospective independence had killed something in their once robust marriage. To be fair, it would have been worth asking whether he showed love and devotion to her. Or did he spend much of his leisure time in his own pursuits? In addition to this, there was a story carried in the Daily Mail only last week about one husband who was divorcing his wife because she was specific in placing her career above the needs of her husband. Then the female journalist who reported the incident basically called the man an idiot, lacking consideration for his wife's ambition to fulfill her own wishes. I was aghast! When I logged in on the next day to check over the article again in preparation to this blog, the Daily Mail had already deleted it from its website.

I thought I should add here for those who may conclude that I'm against equal rights for women. That is not true. All I'm saying is that both men and women have different roles, neither one superior or inferior to the other. The man, or husband is a figure of the Lord Jesus Christ, who is head of the Church (see Ephesians 5:22-24). Now here is a question: if the Church chooses to exist independently of Jesus Christ, his love or provisions, how would the Lord himself feel?

God had created Eve out of the man Adam, and it was specifically for her to be a helper meet for him. Despite what feminists might say, woman was to be a companion to her husband, to love and be submissive to him (see Ephesians 5:22-33). In turn, he would love her and be fully devoted to her well being. I believe that if husbands in the Western world had taken heed to this sound advice, feminism and "equal rights for women" would never had been thought of, simply because the wife who is secure in her husband's love would not even think otherwise.

Finally, 1 John 4:8 says that God is love.

So let us quote 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 where Paul speaks of the greatness and goodness of love. But here we substituted the word "God" in place of "love" and we came up with this result (from the NIV):

God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. He is not rude, he is not self-seeking, he is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.