A Prayer of Despair - And Hope.

The armchair felt very comfortable as I felt myself sinking into it at this particular branch of Costa Coffee located just inside the doors of the Royal Surrey Hospital in Guildford. It was so soothing, after two turbulent days when nothing went right for both my wife and myself.

Costa Coffee at Royal Surrey Hospital, Guildford.

Having no car of our own, the threat of exorbitant taxi fees emptying our joint bank account, and the sheer awkwardness of train travel to Guildford from Bracknell with a wheelchair and platform change at Wokingham, the only option left was the NHS Transport service to cover the twenty miles from door to door. A brilliant idea on paper, as there are plenty of infirm senior citizens who would need this mode of transport. But on the first day, after we had received more than one phone call from them that they will arrive to collect her in good time, Alex sat at the kitchen window looking out at the unusually quiet and deserted cul-de-sac without seeing even a pussy-cat sniffing around to add some life to the environment.

I managed to get hold of their office phone number and after some effort, succeeded in getting through to them, only to receive an apology and an explanation that one of their drivers had phoned up sick. As such, we were left stuck at home and the radiotherapy department had to cancel her appointment and a new one made for the next day. The let-down caused Alex to develop chest pains, so sharp and severe that she insisted on a 999 call. Next to no time, an ambulance whisked her away, alone, to Frimley Park Hospital, while I waited for the right time to cycle to my own appointment at Heatherwood Hospital in Ascot for a cardiac assessment. She didn't arrive home until late that evening, tired, and a taxi fare out of pocket.

The next day, the NHS transport service arrived in good time. But after waiting at the radiotherapy department, her severe chest pains returned just as she was called in. The staff were alarmed and insisted that she be sent to A&E for a CT scan to find the cause of the pain, resulting in a second cancellation of her radiotherapy appointment. One possibility is that she has a blood clot in her lung, which would require an overnight stay in the hospital to initiate proper treatment. It was during the five-hour wait at A&E for her scan when we agreed for her to remain in the waiting room, as her call was imminent, and I went just outside, into the Costa Coffee cafe, and sunk into the comfortable armchair with a large Cappuccino and croissant on the table in front.

And a time for prayer.

Rather than moaning over our lot, I first gave thanks to God for everything we have, including each other. Then I expressed my longing for a far greater presence of God in our lives, to feel the love of Jesus embracing us, and our desire for a more intimate relationship with God, as well for a strengthening of my weak faith. Although in my heart I felt particularly at peace with him, I went into a tirade about the global threat of this coronavirus, with the UK a sitting duck for a pandemic invasion of the pathogen. Then I pleaded with God that if we become infected, then let us die together in each other's arms. Our lives are committed in his hands. Let the virus kill as together at the same time. I was able to visualise us as a couple lying on the bed in a tight embrace - dead. 

O, come quickly, Lord Jesus! Redeem and restore your beautiful, beautiful Creation!

It was a moment when I couldn't care whether I drew attention or not. And that despite the instruction to enter the closet and close the door behind me and pray to my Father, and my Father, seeing me pray in secret, will reward me (Matthew 6:6). Really, at that moment I couldn't care less about what other people were thinking. If they thought I was a bit of a nutter, so be it. I just wanted to be in the embracing arms of Jesus, right there and then. At least a third appointment for the same radiotherapy has already been made for next week. Third time lucky, perhaps?

We were hardly home from the hospital when going through a daily browse on Facebook when a flame-coloured box scrolled onto the screen from below. On the coloured background and in large white lettering this message read:

You're absolutely free to reject God's mercy whilst you're alive.
You're absolutely (sic) won't be free to escape God's judgement in hell.

This was a direct quote from an online friend who was with us at Ascot Life Church but since left to join a smaller, more local fellowship. Yes, Biblically and theologically speaking, he's absolutely right. Reject God's mercy and it's a lost eternity. But this kind of loveless warning is from a typical Arminian* whose faith for a believer is merely to escape eternal punishment rather than enjoy a love-relationship with God.

I have been contacted via Facebook by the pastor of this local fellowship, who asked for online friendship and I was happy to oblige. He looks to be a charismatic whose main brunt of his ministry is to heal people of both physical and mental illnesses. Did he find out about the ailments both of us were suffering? Is he trying to persuade us to join his group, or at least to have a look around? However, I have reservations. I have seen this sort of thing before, more than once. Starting as a small home group, rather than new converts being made, these leaders tend to persuade regular church-going Christians to "try out" the new group and if they like it, to join as permanent members. One late Elder once said to me that this practice is known as "sheep-stealing".

One of these home groups I became involved during the mid-seventies was led by a Pentecostal pastor, married and with a young son, who had a dispute with the church he was in, and decided "to start my own fellowship" at his home, into which a handful from different churches met. One of his main preach was about how easy a believer can lose his salvation, using the classic Hebrews 6:4-6 as his text. At first, its growth was successful, and the group eventually moved into a small chapel near the town centre, where it continued to grow, that is until its founder slept with another man's wife and afterwards was defrocked by the rest of the congregation before he disappeared, never to be seen or heard of again. Since then, this church remains a shadow of its former self with just a small number meeting. It too had an emphasis on healing.

The second occasion, in the 1980s, concerned another church member who had a falling out with his Elders. Proclaiming himself to be an apostle, this married couple also met in their own home, drawing in a few other members, including myself, from different churches. Another member who happen to be also from Bracknell Baptist and being the only one who had a guitar, thus providing the only source of worship music, declared his belief in Once Saved Always Saved. Immediately a discussion got underway, with the apostle, his wife, and another member, refuting such an idea and insisting that salvation was conditional on ongoing faithfulness. With myself deciding to stay quiet, the wife eventually lost her temper and shouted at the member not to contradict her husband. The turbulent atmosphere in the room was the beginning of the end to this group, which disbanded a short while after.

Whether this local fellowship has followed this same kind of sheep-stealing as the other two groups did, I cannot be certain. But that isn't what's bothering me. Rather, what bothers me is that bold Facebook poster which popped up whilst scrolling. Although Biblically true, nevertheless, I found the attitude behind the message very disturbing. It was as if written in anger or frustration and entirely without love. And what was it to prompt him to write such a poster? If it was to frighten people to commit themselves to God, then no, that's not true Christianity. Rather, such an attitude has levelled his group to any cult, on the exact level of Jehovah's Witnesses or any other Arminian-based group.

As Charles Spurgeon once said,
No one should talk about hell without having tears in his eyes.
He was absolutely right. Whenever I think of hell, I too feel for the lost around me. Indeed, I want my heart to reflect God's feelings concerning the afterlife when he says that he is patient, and he is not willing that anyone should perish but all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). Or again, that God commands all men everywhere to repent (Acts 17:30). Hell was initially prepared for the Devil and his angels, and it wasn't intended for humans. Indeed, these threats are the sort of messages which would drive the unbeliever into the arms of Charles Darwin instead of into the arms of Jesus Christ.

The Lord wants to draw all men to himself, as if like a courtship. Just as with a groom and bride, likewise, the Church is or will be, the Bride of Christ. I have never known a boyfriend threatening a potential girlfriend to go out with him! She would run a mile if he tried.

In Genesis chapter 24 there is a beautiful story which reflects the love of the Father to his Son and the role of the Holy Spirit. Abraham gives an order to an unnamed servant to go to his own kinsmen to find a wife for his son Isaac. The servant was cautious enough to ask his master what if the potential candidate refuses to return with him. Abraham then answers that he would be free from any responsibility. No threat, no punishment.

And off the servant goes. Thoroughly loyal to his master, he makes sure that the beautiful Rebekah is the one. When he perceives that she was, he then barters with her family for her to return with him. She was willing, and so she returns with him to Abraham's camp. There his son Isaac takes delight in her straight away and the two married that same evening. What a picture this is, of Christ, the Son of God, and the Church, the Bride of Christ! It is the Holy Spirit who shines a light into every man (John 1:9, 16:8-11) to draw him to Christ in a husband/wife love relationship. As for conviction of sin, that's the work of the Holy Spirit, and he knows when and how to apply this without using threats.

I'll be truthful here. My beloved may not be quite the long-haired, slim pretty girl I married two decades ago. Instead, due to her recent chemotherapy, she has lost her hair and gained weight. But to me, she will always be beautiful, the apple of my eye, the unity of soul and spirit. I will continue to love her to bits. Once married always married. I think this is a wise and true saying.

Therefore whenever she's in pain, then I'm in pain. her poor health causes me to live daily on a knife-edge, and visits to the hospital so frequent, I'm beginning to wonder just when we can stay away for a longer period. But by this experience, we have learnt a lot. And I thank God for us being together and trust him for our future.
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*Arminian: A Christian believer who embrace the teachings of 16th Century Dutch theologian Jacobus Arminius, who has repudiated the theology of imputed righteousness of Christ into the believer's account, for forfeitable salvation which can be lost if the believer's faith fails.

A Wise Exhortation

Just two weeks before Christmas I attended a Sunday nuptial of the daughter of a long-standing friend of mine who is also my accountant. Being a Sunday wedding, it commenced within an hour after the end of our normal church service, at our own church building approximately two miles from the spacious Ascot Racecourse restaurant where we meet each week, hence necessitating a cycle ride between the two venues, as I don't hold a driving licence. Thus, as I sat next to a smartly dressed, lordly-looking elderly couple, I surveyed the fully-packed sanctuary, and saw that I was one of just three adult men who wasn't wearing a tie, and by the looks of it, the only one not wearing a suit either. 

It wasn't so much an act of rebellion against stuffy English custom as suffering an unpleasant sense of neck constraint whilst cycling and creating body heat and eventual opening of the sweat pores. Well at least nobody, as far as I was aware of, looked on me with a condescending countenance. As I sat there, perhaps with a feeling of being out-of-place at such a formal occasion, I made an effort of introducing myself to the elderly stranger I was sitting next to, his halitosis testing my own stoicism not to screw up my face in repulsion. As I waited for the bride to be escorted into the church by her father, I was pondering on how the wife of this gentleman sitting next to me can share his bed each night in each other's arms without being put off by such bad breath.

The ceremony itself went smoothly according to plan. Then, after the address was delivered by a graduate of Royal Holloway College, an annexe of London University, it was time for anyone in the congregation to deliver a prayer, a prophecy or anything God has laid on his heart for edification to the newly-weds. This was the moment I felt a strong urge building within me, and had I restrained myself out of politeness or some other English etiquette, I would have felt deep regret over a missed opportunity.

Without standing up so not to attract visual attention, I warned the nuptials that after their honeymoon is over and they have returned to the real world, in addition to enjoying good things, their marriage will be tested to the limit, but  their ability to overcome and become victorious depends on how much they are committed to each other and to God. So by addressing the groom by name, I exhorted him to love his wife with 100% of heart, and then encouraged her to be submitted to him as head of the household, just as Christ is the head of the church. Then I encouraged them to read the Bible every day. Because it is through daily reading of the Bible is where victory in a robust marriage has its roots. Then I wished them God's blessing of a successful marriage.

Perhaps I should have added that there are strong opposing forces in the air which would give their hardest to break up their marriage, a truth which would have opened further encouragement to put on the armour of God, as Paul had instructed the church in Ephesus (6:10-18). I needn't have worried. There were a number of other guests who approached me after the service in commendation for the exhortation, indicating that it must have carried some punch. Rather than to give in to temptation to feel proud, I acknowledged the power and the grace of God to speak through me when he could have easily chosen somebody else - someone who was more appropriately dressed for the occasion.

Indeed, God chose me out of undeserving grace, but I could ask why I was chosen, and how was it that my exhortation carried such a punch. It does not take rocket science to answer that one. It was out of experience of my own marriage to Alex for nearly two decades. Adverse forces in the air could have destroyed our marriage some twelve years earlier. That was when I was given a choice by a social worker that I could raise my two daughters on condition that I separate from my wife. I had refused to separate, having stuck to the vows we made before God and to the congregation in the very same church at our nuptials. All these dreadful events were due to the assumption made by our child supporter that Alex was not up for parenting due to her being on the mild autism spectrum, as I am too. This is why I have a long-standing hunch against the self-confident, well-educated professional. They have the legal power to destroy a family, and if they see fit, they can obtain a Court order. As it was, the Social Worker responsible was incredibly arrogant, self confident, even patriotic, as well as downright nasty, yet she was still unable to discern our autism despite her university degree and training. As a result, I was very reluctant to respond and even on one occasion ordered her out of the house.

My raging anger towards that professional career-girl lingered for months afterwards as I was wallowing in shame as I watched Alex occasionally break down into tears. It took several years before finally forgiving her in my heart. But before then there was one thing that I would never let go, and that was having faith in God. And this faith in God was sustained by daily Bible reading, normally after breakfast whilst still in bed. This became the bedrock for a robust and healthy marriage between us after the loss of our two daughters. 

Daily reading of the Holy Scriptures. Like the noble Bereans checking their Scriptures to verify what Paul was preaching concerning the crucified Jesus of Nazareth being the risen Christ (Acts 17:11). Perhaps the Bereans missed out on having devotionals such as Every Day with Jesus, or something similar. I am aware that there are many Christians who start their day with one of these, designed I believe, to cover the whole year. But as I see it, these devotionals hinder proper reading of the Bible rather than promote it. Just the other day someone has shown me a very similar devotional. On each page was just one verse of Scripture confined to a small box whilst the rest of the page carried the author's commentary on the verse together with a suggested prayer. To me, that is not allowing the Word of God to dwell in me richly (Colossians 3:16) - in order to build the big picture from which each verse is just a single piece of the jigsaw puzzle. As an example, the one who had shown me the devotional, even being a Christian after many years, wasn't even properly acquainted with the 53rd chapter of Isaiah, one of the most life-changing passages in the entire Bible. 

This makes me very sad, as I'm very fond of this individual, and I want the best for him. As for me, reading a whole chapter every morning before rising is unbeatable. Pure Bible reading unhinged by anyone else's commentary, remarks or exhortations. Just allowing Scripture to speak for itself. Usually it's selecting a book from either the Old or the New Testament and reading a chapter of it each day. But lately, I have decided to read the entire Bible from cover to cover by reading a chapter each day. This is to ensure that on the day I depart, not a single tittle or iota remains unread. So far, starting at Genesis 1:1, I have at present arrived at the 3rd chapter of Paul's letter to the Romans, after thoroughly enjoying reading the Acts of the Apostles.

I can testify that thorough Bible reading has given me strength and hope for what the future holds for us, especially as the UK is about to leave the European Union, as discussed in my last post. Having faith in God is diametrically opposed to the unholy triplet of pride, self-confidence and optimism, which I have seen and read about thriving in the hearts of many who have voted to leave the E.U. - the key issue here being the word self. Trusting in ourselves on the national level to reach, so to speak, to the heavens, just as the builders of the Tower of Babel did a long time ago - instead of trusting in the love, grace, and the mercy of God. Allowing the Word of God to dwell in us richly, so I have found, has given me a level of hope for the future, it has taken away all anxieties over our daughters, committing them into God's care as hoping that their adopted parents raises them up in a godly manner. It has strengthened our own marriage, and furthermore - constant reading of the Bible has literally raised my intelligence quotient, opening new sources of knowledge where my younger days amidst school-tie culture had so miserably failed. Subjects such as history - both ancient and recent, biology - particularly the genome, and geology - particularly covering volcanism and sedimentary strata, all becoming very relevant to me after getting to know the Bible.

My fascination with God's commitment to one particular city, that of Jerusalem, the Cup of Trembling for all the nations of the world (Zechariah 12:1-3) - has given me several opportunities to not only visit but to have a taste of living in the heart of the city where God has put his Name there forever - was borne out of devoted reading and getting acquainted with the Bible. It has also raised a golden opportunity to fulfil my wife's dream to visit the city for herself whilst up to four months pregnant with our first daughter. Getting acquainted with the Bible has made me come to realise the significance of Jerusalem in the way God sees it, by comparison with much bigger cities such as Chicago, Los Angeles, and New York - all three built on the coastline, or London, Paris and Berlin, all built on major rivers. Jerusalem is neither on the coast nor on a river. Originally it was a walled settlement no larger than a modern city square at the time it was conquered from the Jebusites by King David, and has become the capital of Israel ever since. It is to this city where Jesus will one day return to reign on his father David's throne.

Reading the Bible has made me have a deep respect for the Jew and the nation of Israel. As for one, I would not take kindly to anyone who speaks against the Jewish people, whether it is to tease them or to deny the reality of the Holocaust. Neither would I allow anyone to hint that the Jews are racially inferior to non-Jews living in the West, like Adolf Hitler did in the past, or for the English Far-Right groups do at present - without a challenge. While getting to know the Bible, it didn't take me long to realise that the Jewish people were - and still are - and always will be, God's people chosen from the nations whose homeland is in Israel, with the fortress at Hebron marking the site of the Cave of Machpelah bearing witness to this as an everlasting sentinel. It is in this underground cave where Abraham and his wife Sarah; Abraham's son Isaac and his wife Rebekah; and Isaac's son Jacob and his wife Leah; were all buried there. The most significant about these six people is that they were the founding families of the nation of Israel, with even the Hebrew name YISRAEL being the acronym of their initials (except the initial E for Elohim, a name for God himself, indicating that God dwells in the midst of his people, and also making a total of seven letters - seven being God's number). As the Bible itself had prophesied a long time ago that the Jews will be scattered globally for nearly two millennia, (e.g. Deuteronomy 28:64-68) - this fortress, built by Herod the Great and completed in 6 BC, has stood as a permanent sentinel ever since, testifying to the historicity of the Bible.

Also becoming familiar with Holy Scripture has helped me understand not only the attributes of God himself, but also to take a position on various theological issues. For example, unless I know the Bible well enough, I could never stand up to the arguments the Jehovah's Witnesses would put up against the truth of the Trinity at my front door. Or for that matter, my advocating of Once Saved Always Saved would never stand to see the light of day unless of my familiarity with fulfilled Old Testament prophecy enabling me to see the omniscience of God.

There is everything to gain from daily reading of the Bible, and absolutely nothing to lose, not even precious time if you have overslept or in a hurry to go out. According to my own experience, a daily reading has never disrupted my day's schedule.

This is my exhortation to all readers for the start of the year. Make it a habit to read the Bible each day. It is more beneficial to the soul than any medication can give.

A Divine Mystery

Alex and I sat at the outdoor restaurant table well after sundown. In the middle stood a lit candle, which gave a soft orange light through the tinted glass holder. The sky above us was inky black, with countless stars shining brightly. The air was warm without being sticky, not a breath of wind stirred, and just a few feet away, the waves of the Mediterranean Sea lapped gently at the sand and shingle beach, making a continuous, almost melodic sound which combined with the gentle music drifting from a nearby speaker.

And as such, was the high point of a holiday (vacation) at the Greek island of Kos, from which we were able to see the distant lights of the Turkish resort of Bodrum several miles away, across the stretch of sea.

So were we celebrating anything? Indeed we were. Our twelfth Wedding Anniversary.

Perhaps I'll let you into a secret. I married quite late in life compared to the average age here in the UK. As such, our anniversaries means everything to us both. Of all twelve anniversaries, four of them we flew abroad - to Israel, Italy, the Greek Island of Rhodes and this time to Kos. Three other anniversaries were spent in Cornwall, the extreme South-West corner of the UK where palm trees and even banana bushes flourish. Two more were spent at a hotel in London, only thirty miles (48km) from our home. The rest spent either at home or a day in London. What determine our venue is not the state of our marriage at all, but our budget.

But this year we wanted to make an extra effort to make our twelfth special. Twelve means something special, particular to me. The twelve months of the year, the twelve hours on the clock, the twelve tribes of Israel, the twelve Apostles of Jesus Christ. It is a number divisible by two, three, four and six. More important, it was God himself who chose that number for both the nation of Israel and the foundations of the Church. Therefore if God, for his own pleasure, had chosen that number to fulfill his purpose, why not us to fulfill ours? In a nutshell, because of my late age on our wedding day, I vowed back then that for the rest of our lives our anniversaries will always be a holiday. But the most important reason for our anniversary holiday, whether at home or abroad, is for us to spend time together.

If you are single and reading this, you can if you wish, start solving your Rubic Cube, pick up a newspaper or (heaven forbid) go on to another website. But I bid you to read on instead, as I was single too, right up to the age of 47 years. So I would understand how you might feel. Many a time back then whenever a sermon was preached about marriage, I took that as a good opportunity for a spell of mid-morning forty winks!

But marriage in the real world is not about from one anniversary to the next. Our experience of it had taught us that it's a 100% commitment to each other. One rather unusual writing about marriage came from the pen of the apostle Paul. He wrote,

Husbands, love your wives...wives, submit to your husbands...
Ephesians 5:22, 25. Colossians 3:18-19.

This seems unusual in a way that one would have thought that both partners would be encouraged to love each other. I as a man am exhorted to love my wife. We men are by nature less emotional than women, maybe because we were created with the purpose of bread-winning to provide every need to our families. In turn, it is the woman who carries her offspring for the first nine months of the child's life, and therefore makes sense that she has a much broader array of emotion. For her to love her husband comes perfectly natural to her, but as men we have to work at it. In other words, we guys have to make an effort to love our wives.

Wives submitting to their husbands? By writing this blog, I feel that I'm putting myself at risk of becoming unpopular among female readers here. In this day and age, it looks as if it's anathema for a young female, fresh out of university, to think about being supported by a working husband holding down a job. Independent women, as I can see, is the culture of today, the 21st Century. It wasn't that long since I found myself watching a TV commercial of the carefree, independent career-minded woman driving away in her flashy Ferrari sports car after dumping her partner when he failed to meet her expectations. Perhaps with ads like this delivering such messages of attitude, little wonder that many a male, especially one who had struggled at school, feels that he has no sense of purpose or responsibility, and takes to drugs or become part of a gang culture, or merely mopes at home suffering insecurity or inferior complex.
Added to this, the high rate of divorce in the UK may indeed be put down to female independence in the home.

Husbands, love your wives. History seem to tell me that male dominance in the home, including domestic violence, were the seeds sown which sprouted feminism. Male leadership in the home is Biblical, but Paul emphasises love alongside leadership. Loving our wives takes effort. I, for one, have to make a conscious effort to be romantic to my wife, especially after coming home from work, slumping down in front of the TV, or nowadays, go online. I have found it a lot easier to catch up on the latest on Facebook than it is to walk into the kitchen while she is preparing the dinner, put my arms round her and ask, "What sort of a day did you have?"

But by making the effort, Alex appreciates this and in turn, finds it easier to submit. There also seem to be good evidence that by submitting to my leadership at home gives her a sense of security. By relying on me to provide, she remains free from worry on how is she to keep a roof over her head, nor dread another day under a stickler of a boss in the office. As a result of taking Paul's advice, I'm very happy to say that our marriage is strong and robust.

Another thing I must emphasise here. I have been told, especially by my mother, that the reason why many women work is because Dad's income was not enough to be the sole breadwinner. Mum had a point there, although her working hours were always part time in order to make sure my younger brother and I were properly looked after as children. She spent her time as a manual worker in a factory. It was solely to top up the home budget. There is a world of a difference between this and the ambitions of an independent, well-educated career/social climbing female.

I always saw that Mum was submissive to Dad, who did not object to her going out to work, even in his own mind he might have preferred her to stay at home. But I also saw Dad making a conscious effort to love her. Many times. Result? Their marriage is as strong as it was on their wedding day, which was sixty years earlier!

Husbands, love your wives. Wives, submit to your husbands. Why did Paul give this advice? For a stable, happy marriage? Yes, it was certainly for that. But there is more. The mystery of marriage is a figure - of the one between Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom, and his Bride, the Church!

The New Testament often pictures the Church, meaning a worldwide group of true believers in Jesus Christ as Saviour, being betrothed to Christ in this present age. Many scholars believe that the actual marriage will take place in Heaven after the Rapture. But whatever the case might be, Jesus Christ loved the Church so much that he gave his own life for her salvation. This, I believe is how husbands should love their wives, ready to lay their lives for them. Humanly speaking, this is very difficult, if not impossible, as self-preservation is the most powerful force operating in every man. But being a believer in Jesus Christ and being filled with his Holy Spirit, this kind of love, known as agape in Greek, the highest form of love a person can have, can be achieved. The love Christ has for his church, that is, for every believer, is agape love.

With this kind of love shown to the wife by her husband, she would find that being submissive not just much easier but something she would be glad to be. My own experience in marriage seem to indicate that love and submission are the right responses to the man who loves her so much. It is the same attitude the Church has for her Head, Jesus Christ. Therefore, Paul was right to liken Christ and his Church to that of a husband and wife relationship. There are many similarities.

But there are some differences too. I don't have any power to cleanse my wife from her sins, nor bring her to purification. These are things only Christ can do. Jesus Christ has that power to cleanse every believer from their sins, to present to himself a Bride which will be spotless and clean, fit for the King. And that is another reason why I believe in Once Saved Always Saved. The Bride will be presented to the Groom complete. For a believer to lose his salvation due to sin, falling away or lack of faithfulness would mean the severance of that Bride's body part (which is another figure Paul uses for the Church - different parts, one body). During our wedding ceremony in 1999, Alex walked into the church building dressed in a white wedding dress. Of course, it never crossed my mind as a waiting groom whether she had all her ten toes on her feet, or had she lost a couple during her transit to the wedding. Of course she had all ten toes! My bride walked into the building complete in herself, so will the Bride of Christ as well.

Christians have come up to me and quoting the parable of the Ten Virgins, found in Matthew 25:1-13 to prove that believers can lose their salvation and therefore be severed from the Bride of Christ. But those ten virgins were not the Bride of Christ. They were guests, most likely to become the Groom's harem, as was the custom in those days of Eastern aristocracy. But still neither of them would become his bride. The Bride was already in the house, and furthermore the central point of attention. When the Groom came out to bring the women in, there was no evidence that he asked where were the missing five. Instead he found five waiting and he invited them in. When the other five arrived, they found the door shut and the Groom was baffled on who these five women were, and dismissed them.

A parallel story is found in Matthew 22 1-14. Here Jesus gives a picture of a King (God the Father) inviting his guests in to celebrate his son's wedding feast. The Bride was about to marry her Groom and therefore, the centre of attention. The invited guests refused to attend. So the King sent out his servants to bring in all who were willing to attend. They were all guests. They did not make up the Bride of Christ.

Yet do these parables apply to us today? Yes, they do. The virgin's jars of oil and the wedding clothes each of the guests wore represented the righteousness of Christ. In the first parable, the five foolish virgins believed that they could enter the Kingdom riding on the backs of believers, without having the oil (Holy Spirit) for themselves. One cannot be saved on someone else's faith. On the same par, the one man at the wedding feast thought he could turn up in his own clothes, rather than in the clothes provided by the host for every guest. One cannot enter the Kingdom without being clothed with the righteousness of Christ.

But to keep the parables in their literal context, in both there was a definite difference between the bride and the guest. In this age, when Christ is calling the Bride for himself, every believer has been called and approved by God the Father, and given to his Son Jesus as a reward for his sacrifice on the cross. (See John 6:39,44; John 17:2,6,9,24.)

Every believer since the Crucifixion is part of the Bride of Christ, she of astonishing beauty and cleanliness, fit to be a wife of the King who loved her enough to lay down his life. And she will be both loving and in submission to the one who loves her so much. No ambitious independence there, apparently.

I love Alex my wife dearly. But would I be prepared to lay my life down for her?

With God all things are possible.