A Tender Shoot From Mud.

As I look back into my younger years, I could I ever forget those midweek evenings when I groaned inwardly at the thought of going back out after a busy day's work. Especially during the late Autumn or throughout the Winter when everything outside my apartment window was shrouded in dark, misty gloom, or the air pitted with a light but consistent drizzle, or the air biting cold from a north wind. And so I leave behind the warm, smug and homely environment, wearing a thick raincoat and leather gloves for a twenty-minute cycle ride to our local Baptist church, to pray.

Bracknell Baptist Church of the 1970s.

Only a small proportion turned up at those midweek meetings, compared to the building being full on a typical Sunday morning. Yet I felt obliged to go, anyway. Whatever the motives were back then - if it was because I wanted to believe that I was "spiritual" or because the rest of the church would have thought that I was just a Sunday "hanger-on" rather than an active member, or simply because it was the right thing to do as a Christian - or even believing that God would have been displeased with me for not exhibiting proper commitment.

Yet, in some of these meetings, I felt my spirit lift to the heights of sheer ecstasy, the exuberant feeling of being so close to God. But there were other meetings when I felt just bored out of my wits and wishing that I was at home or somewhere else. Although I tend to blame myself during those "dead" meetings, whether there was unconfessed sin lurking within, or whether I have nothing to pray about - which was usually the case - as there was no known sick person or anyone struggling, either which would have encouraged intercessory prayer. 

Being such an immature Christian didn't stop or impede me from reading the Bible, and that included both the Old and New Testaments. Understanding the overall picture might have been difficult from time to time, but one particular feature which stood out with remarkable prominence in the Bible, other than Jesus Christ himself, was the city of Jerusalem. And so, early in 1976, I made plans for an independent trip to the Holy Land specifically to visit this fascinating city, after backpacking Italy and having already gained some experience in lone travel. As such, I became the talk of the town, both at church and at my workplace. But, despite how impressed I was with those magnificent ancient ruins of il Foro, il Colosseo di Roma, and I scavi di Pompei, nowhere in Italy could match the exuberance of walking through those medieval streets of Jerusalem Old City, the Mount of Olives, and physically tracing the very footsteps Jesus must have taken.

Back at the church, a new kind of meeting was developed by the leaders, the house-group, which replaced the old prayer meetings. I thought that was a brilliant idea, as this had something of a resemblance of the early church under the administration of the apostles, especially Paul, which met in private homes. Having visited the ruins of private homes in Pompeii, this gave me a good idea of the environment in which the early church met. On any Mediterranean Summer's day, the spacious atrium, with the impluvium in the middle, a pool positioned to capture rainwater to supply the household, could have been the perfect setting for such a meeting, maybe as many as thirty people, all sitting or even reclining in a circle surrounding the pool. On cooler days, any of the larger rooms surrounding the atrium would have been ideal.

Our house-groups were a smaller version of these ancient Roman and Greek meetings, as most established churches here in the UK have too many people for all to meet at any one house. Therefore our church was divided into several midweek house-groups scattered around Bracknell. Each member attended the group nearest to where he lived, as each group was identified by the name of the district in which it was located. For example, the group I attended was known as the Hanworth house-group.

Was the most important feature of any house-group the coffee and biscuits at the end of the meeting? Maybe it was for me. And I think here I'm serious! The American definition of fellowship - "Coffee and Doughnuts" - at last, began to percolate into English churches, perhaps having crossed the Atlantic Ocean by visiting churchgoers returning home. And I'm pretty sure that any psychologist or sociologist would agree, that the way into a person's heart is often through his stomach. A small group meeting at a much warmer, cosier and homely environment than the formal, cold, spacious church building, would far more likely to turn nodding acquaintances into strong friendships. Thus, the opening up of the heart and sharing any issues not shared in a formal church environment, along with two or three engaged in private prayer, are all likely to encourage strong brotherly unity.

Atrium of a house in Pompeii

Even after the end of the Sunday service, nothing can be more beneficial than to remain behind for a while to greet one another, whether it's by a handshake or even a hug, and to share in each other's welfare, and if one is experiencing any form of struggle or hardship, to encourage or even engage in private prayer and Bible exhortation. Such building up of the faith is needed when feeling under a threat of any kind can leave both the giver and the recipient in a better state of mind. And with a hug, especially, is not only beneficial to the spirit but also does wonders to both physical and mental health.

Should there be a risk that I'm portraying church life as so sugar-coated that the elders are infallible and everything has always been hunky-dory within the fellowship, I thought of sharing a time I spent at a certain house-group around the 1980s. The fact is, as we're all prone to err while living in a fallen world, no church is perfect, and I have never expected any church fellowship to be perfect, yet, by God's love, grace and tender mercy, he's aware of my frame, along with those of all other Christians, and indeed, I, for one, have found myself to be in a dire situation, but again, I have learned since then not to feel any grudge towards anyone who may be prone to err.  

At the Hanworth house-group, one issue which our group leader seemed to have enjoyed was to divide us into several small groups and send us into the streets, door-knocking, with the intent of presenting the Gospel to any occupants who answered the door. This door-to-door tactic is the same used by Jehovah's Witnesses, and what's so dispiriting was that often the householder just didn't want to be disturbed in the evening if, after a day's work, wanted to spend time with his family or to watch an important or entertaining programme on television. Therefore, the risk of the door slamming shut at our faces, or receiving some hostile response, was very high. At least I can say that the typical Jehovah's Witness recruit is thoroughly trained by a senior member before allowed out into the streets. 

Just to divert here, and that is, door-to-door "evangelism" is not taught in the New Testament, nor does the Bible endorse such a practice. Rather, it's a misinterpretation of Acts 2:46 and 5:42, where Christians met in different houses (and nothing to do with door-to-door). These people who met in these houses were already believers, and visitors, such as the apostles, were invited into each house to teach, exhort and encourage. That is a far cry from the stress-inducing knocking on stranger's doors whilst fully aware of the chance of a hostile response.

But despite such mistakes made by the leaders or elders, or the unnecessary stress imposed by misinterpretations of Scripture, meeting together had always been very important in the life of a Christian believer. So much so, that many throughout history had put their lives at risk. For example, London was under the affliction of the Great Plague between 1665 and 1666. This plague killed around 25% of the London population (as compared with the 0.2% of the population under this present coronavirus pandemic.) During that time, while infection gotten from rats was rapidly spreading, many churches remained open despite the dangers, and they were all filled with worshippers, who also gave moral and encouraging support to each other during the plague. 

So says an article by Christian Concern and posted by a friend on Facebook. By comparison, our greater knowledge of the pathogen, and how it's transmitted from person to person, has caused panic to spread across the land, ushering national lockdowns, including the closure of all churches. Therefore, missing church attendance, physical worship and fellowship, including body contact, is like living in mud. Indeed, I didn't agree with everything Christian Concern came up with, including a hint that salvation is gotten by works of bravery rather than by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, and a further hint, through another misinterpretation of Scripture (Revelation 21:8) that all cowards are most likely to be shut out of heaven, nevertheless, there were some good points brought up by the article, namely, that the churches of the past who remained open and welcomed worshippers during a severe plague - was a great credit to the Christian faith.

With the present situation of lockdowns, self-isolation, and no Christian daring to call or be welcomed at another Christian's home, no church meetings, no body-contact, the feeling of loneliness - especially among singles, even a telephone call is an extreme rarity, and so the Christian life resembles a patch of mud, an area where nothing grows, but instead, liable to suck in any foot which steps onto it, making any attempts to walk across as an energy-draining effort which saps all goodness from the leg muscles and thus impedes his journey to his destination.  

But modern technology has sowed a seed into the mud, and the seed took root and a green shoot of a tree springs up. This sapling represents Zoom, and I for one is thankful that it now exists. For not only through my laptop which I can tune in to our virtual services each Sunday, but to a certain extent, we can interact at a Zoom meeting straight after the service. Likewise, there is a Zoom prayer meeting held every weekday morning, and I join this meeting through the computer screen. At least, right now we're able to talk to each other and communicate, which makes a big difference.

But as the sapling is still surrounded by mud all around it, there is still none of this face-to-face intimacy of a physical meeting, but I guess I need to be thankful to God for allowing technology to flourish at the right time in history through man's brain which God has originally created.

A Remoaner at Christian Concern?

My soul was filled with a sense of accomplishment as I left the gym and headed for the spa suite. After all, once again I have completed a little more than a full one hour of rowing on the Concept 2 flywheel rower, shedding around 520-530 calories as I "completed" a distance of around six and a half miles - without actually moving the whole contraption from its place in the gym, let alone taking it outside. Therefore I cannot help admiring the "real rowers" who ply along the River Thames, starting and finishing at clubhouses located at Oxford, Eton, Kingston, and plenty more along this world-famed river. How thrilled I felt as I watched the sheer sleekness of the narrow canoe glide with apparent ease as a team row with superb coordination.

After a spell in the bubble bath, it was the steam room, prior to full relaxation in the sauna itself. It was while in the steam room when another bather commented to his companion of the lack of heat. His mate then suggested that there might well have been complaints passed on to management about the steam room being too hot for them to bear. I then chipped in:- 

Snowflakes!

The room went quiet, save for the rumbling hiss of the steam dispenser. I had expected a chorus of Hear! Hear! or equivalent, even a start of a conversation about our younger generation's adverse to any endurance to mild discomfort, the end fruit of our politically correct culture. Instead, I was left with the feeling that my comment didn't go down well. And that added to the fact that this particular steam room is badly designed. The single seating tier was set far too low, close to the floor, and the steam chimney set too high. The result has always been, if I wanted to feel the benefit of immersion in hot, steam-soaked air, is to stand up, as such warm air hugged the ceiling, leaving my lower legs in almost normal room temperature.

But the centre point here was my comment. I referred to these complainers as snowflakes. A derogatory statement. Such a term couldn't be more appropriate. Any snowflake would rapidly melt if exposed to just a little heat. However, during the ensuing silence, I had to sit and think. Was my contribution edifying? Supposing it was Jesus Christ sitting at that spot? Would he come out with such a remark?

The Lord Jesus at a spa suite? After all, they were dotted all over the Roman Empire even in his day. However, he preferred to attend a wedding, where wine-filled stomachs must have been the basis of a lot of raucous and coarse talk going on around him. Sure enough, he may not have participated in such lewdness himself, but apparently, he did not upbraid them either. Instead, in order to prove to them that he was the Messiah, he created new wine out of jugs of water so the party can continue.

It was the weekend last week (hence no blogging) that I was invited by a good friend of mine, Dr Andrew Milnthorpe, to a tenth birthday celebration of a para-church organisation, Christian Concern, which was held at the Emmanual Centre in Central London, just a short walk from the Houses of Parliament. The venue was significant. It was where Creation Ministries International held their Conference just a month earlier. If the cutting of the cake was meant to be the climax of the whole evening, then there were more dramatic events leading to that moment.

At least two occurred at or near Westminster Station, one stop away on the Underground from Waterloo mainline station. The first was that a mother of three young children had decided to exit the train through the narrow single sliding door rather than through the wide double doors nearby. The wheels of the pushchair accommodating her screaming toddler had lodged in the gap between the train and the platform edge. However, within seconds she was able to lift the pushchair out of the gap as she herself stepped off the train, followed by Andrew. A moment later the train pulled out with me still on board, after the door slid shut at my face.

When he shared the experience on Facebook, he received comments such as, Did you offer any help? and other comments describing similar distresses such mothers can have on public transport. Therefore I chipped in, giving a fuller version of the incident, and emphasising that rather than Andrew taking the full flak, the mother herself must take her share of the blame for using such a narrow exit, therefore blocking our exit too, whilst the crowds passed in and out of the nearby double doorway where the pushchair would have had a much easier exit.

After our reunion a few minutes later, we arrived on the street, which was temporarily closed to traffic to allow a large parade, or march, saunter around Parliament Square. Held aloft among the massive crowd were a couple of large blue flags, each with a circle of stars.

European Union supporters, I said, as we attempt to cross the road. Then the word Remoaners crossed my mind. Another degrading word for Remainer, neither are in the Oxford Dictionary, as far as I'm aware. At least the word Remoaner is reasonably mild, even if I don't like reading it in the Press. Worse than Remoaner is Remaniac, and I have even come across the word Remidiots. Such words are coined up by patriotic fanatics such as Katie Hopkins, a one-time The Apprentice hopeful who then became a Daily Mail columnist. And here is where things get rather interesting. It was Hopkins who referred to all EU supporters as monkeys and insisted that after we leave, all immigrants should be kicked out of the country, to make way for the indigenous Englishman to flourish.

Ardent Brexiteer Katie Hopkins, former Newspaper Journalist

Echoes of Adolf Hitler and his henchmen? Not surprisingly, even the Right-leaning Daily Mail had to terminate her contract with them after writing a blistering article declaring that our Government is rubbish and all monkeys (Remainers) were unfit to live.

And all this came so soon after reading a book, Hitler and the Nazi Darwinian Worldview, by Jerry Bergman. In it, the author tells of how belief in Darwin's evolutionary theories was the base rock for the most atrocious Holocaust killings during World War II. He then tells us about the lives of each of Hitler's henchmen. They include Dr Josef Mengele, Martin Bormann, Heinrich Himmler, Dr Joseph Goebbels, Hermann Goring, Reinhard Heydrich, Dr Alfred Rosenberg, and Julius Streicher. According to these men, nearly all of them had graduated at University, had justified their attitude towards the socially and biological inferiority of non-German humanity on Charles Darwin's ideas. These so-called "Socially inferiors" include Jews, Negroes, Slavic and Asian peoples, along with the physically and mentally disabled, who are all behind in their evolutionary progress and therefore unfit to struggle for survival. According to these henchmen, all these must be eliminated from this planet in order for their superior Aryan Race to thrive in Germany and then spread to all corners of the globe.

As this blog is written, today's newspaper carries a story of the extreme American patriot, 56-year old Cesar Sayoc, who sent out more than a dozen bombs to the homes of Democratic politicians and their supporters. Fortunately for them, all the bombs were intercepted before any harm was done. And the cause behind this potential atrocity? To make America great again!

All this has made me sit down and ponder: What's going on? Is there a common link between Brexit supporters, the likes of Katie Hopkins, Cesar Sayoc, members of the English Defence League, even the Deep South Ku Klux Klan - and the Holocaust? An incredible question to ask, I know. For one, the KKK has always looked upon the Negro as more like monkeys, and therefore they should have remained as slaves, and disposable to the white man's wish. As I see it, there does look to be a common denominator underlying all these ideas. And that denominator is Darwin's book, its full title being:-

On the Origins of Species by means of Natural Selection or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life (bold emphasis mine).

When reading Jerry Bergman's book and then reading about what's going on around here in the UK, even if before I could not connect between the two, the likes of Katie Hopkins and Cesar Sayoc seemed to have provided the "missing link" between Brexit and the Holocaust. Of course, no Brexit supporter in his right mind would dare think this way, whoever would? Yet the one reason I would consider most important to those who voted to leave was Border Control (no more immigrants) and to make Britain great again under its own sovereignty. However, as I just remembered, there was a spike of verbal and physical violence towards immigrants by Right Wingers straight after the Referendum result was released, adding to Hopkins and her ilk. If such can be related to the Holocaust, then this looks to be some kind of an unholy trinity - Charles Darwin, the Holocaust, and Nationalism.

It seems as if some kind of unholy spirit is at work in the air. It can be quite a frightening thought, coming to think of it, this influence by such an unclean entity. But by turning to the dawn of history, in the book of Genesis 3:4-6 in the KJV, we read this:

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day you eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also to her husband with her; and he did eat. (Emphasis mine.)

It looks as Evolution was right at the centre of the Edenic Lie, a progress upward towards godhood, and at the same time making God out to be a liar. By the looks of it, it's been like this ever since. Going even by my own experience, as a youngster, I was never able to connect Darwin's evolutionary theories with religion, which involves divine creation.* I saw that the two were mutually exclusive. This thing called sin, affecting every one of us, including me, seem to be centred not only on personal survival against others but a quest for power. Also a quest for superiority. Becoming as gods, to make one wise, isn't this what evolution is all about? The struggle for life, the survival of the fittest, and the quest for superiority and dominion?

Dr Andrew Milnthorpe and I are both Creationists. Andrew holds a PhD, I am a retired window cleaner. Yet we are both firm friends, brothers really. We look up to each other. The reason for this is quite simple. We see each other as created in God's image. Therefore as believers, we are very precious to God. This is dynamically opposed to Evolution and its struggle for survival. Could this be the reason why just by calling someone a fool (or talk down on snowflakes) puts him in danger of Hell? (Matthew 5:22). Could this be why God forbids murder? We are all made in his image. We are here to love and serve God and to love and serve each other. A direct opposite of Evolution with its struggle for superiority, whether individualistic, racial or nationalistic.

Fellow Creationist - Dr Andrew Milnthorpe.

The Christian Concern birthday celebration itself turned out far better than I first anticipated. At first, I thought it was just another of these morality organisations with a Christian flavour. Instead, I found it to be centred on Jesus Christ, and for the whole nation to get to know him. I think this is what our nation really needs: a renewed relationship with God through faith in the Risen Christ! Not Brexit. Instead, something much better than divorcing from the EU. Something far more real, far more eternal, and far closer and meaningful to the heart.

My longing wish is that Christian Concern and Creation Ministries International should be in touch with each other and for the truth of Divine Creation washes away any Theistic Evolution nonsense that has made a home in the hearts of many Christians.

And also make me have better respect for "Snowflakes".

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*For details on how I was dramatically converted from being an evolutionist to Creationism, click here.

A Wedding and a Gay Churchgoer.

As many of my readers may be aware, the front page of today's edition of The Daily Mail national newspaper carries a photo of the bride and groom leaving the church in Windsor, and exchanging a kiss whilst their arms are entwined. Yet if I were to see them walking along the street or busy at a shopping mall, I would not even give them a second glance, as they would appear as total strangers. But not to the rest of the nation, it seems like, who would have recognised the bride as Princess Eugenie, the daughter of Prince Andrew, the second son of the Queen (after Prince Charles and Princess Anne), and therefore Her Majesty's granddaughter.

She had just tied the knot with, as it looks to me, some unknown fellow, Jack Brooksbank by name. An aristocrat of some sort, as I tried to scour both the newspaper and the Internet on what he does for a living. All I got was that he is an ambassador for several brands of wine. Whatever that's supposed to mean, one thing for sure, he never got his hands dirty fixing a broken pipe or stood in a muddy trench in search for some frayed cables.

Jack Brooksbank with Princess Eugenie.

Yet the Daily Mail devotes its first seventeen pages to the wedding, plus a further twelve centre pages as a souvenir pullout, making a grand total of 29 pages altogether, which is a typical reflection of our nation's obsession with celebrity. Heavens! Why didn't they make it into a tidy number of thirty pages? But when it comes to crowd attendance, there is quite a significant difference between this Royal wedding and that of Prince Harry and Meghan at the same venue a few months earlier. Harry's wedding had attracted a crowd of 100,000 spectators, whilst this one pulled in only 3,000 onlookers, according to the newspaper. The small fact that Eugenie's nuptials took place on a Friday, and therefore there were many employers unwilling to give their workers a day off, this might well have had a hand in the vast difference of crowd numbers, as Harry was wise enough to marry Meghan on a Saturday.

Am I one of a majority who really couldn't give a damn? A minor Royal had just got hitched, and I was far more interested in the gym workout, followed by a relaxing sauna afterwards. And while I was preparing to row for a full hour on the Concept 2 flywheel machine, three thousand devoted followers lined the street, with just one overnight camper. Personally, I wish them good luck and God's blessing. Although I do wish them well, that's not the point here. Rather, if there is such a country which practically deifies Royalty, it has to be Great Britain. And the English in particular.

It's nothing new of course. Far from it. The Pyramids of ancient Egypt, for example, remains a lasting testimony of the Pharaoh's deification by his loyal subjects. Sometime later the Romans were at it. I believe it was Emperor Augustus who initiated the Pax Romana, which allowed its citizens to live in peace whilst the Empire expanded. Since the Pax Romana is an abstract quality rather than an entity, the idea of worshipping the Emperor as divine suited them well. It was not long before Emperor-worship became compulsory on the penalty of death, which brought problems to the early Christian who insisted that the risen Jesus of Nazareth was God, not the ruling Emperor.

These Roman emperors certainly did not live saintly lives. They tended to murder their own family members in order to ward off any threat of rivalry and to secure their own power. The majority of these ancient rulers also had handsome boys in their bedrooms, what we at present would label as pederasty and paedophilia, such scandals in Her Majesty's Government would shake the very foundations of Parliament. It does look to me that generation after generation of governance under a Christian Constitution has made the churches effective in its role as Salt of the Earth.

Poor John the Baptist! He wasn't so lucky in stemming evil. During the days of his ministry, King Herod successfully wooed his brother's wife while her husband was still alive. And so he rebuked the couple in public, calling their marriage adulterous and a sham. Indeed, after John's arrest and imprisonment, Herod had taken a liking to his captive and even called him up to his palace to hear more on what he had to say, according to Mark 6:20. But John's rebuke failed to bring repentance. He never sent his wife Herodias back to his brother. Instead, he allowed her hatred of the prophet to fester and eventually used her beautiful daughter to lull the king to have John executed.

However, Herod's sin looks to be incredibly mild in comparison to those of the reigning emperors in Rome. Really, Herod's sin wasn't unlike our own perception of marriage, divorce and re-marriage taking place all around us at present. Here in the UK, even under a Christian Constitution, this sort of thing takes place all the time, despite what both Jesus himself and apostle Paul had taught, that he who marries a divorcee commits adultery (Luke 16:18, Romans 7:1-3).

1-hour workout = 6.4 miles, 520 calories and no wedding bore!

Which makes Prince Harry's wedding to Meghan a very awkward issue indeed, since Meghan was a divorcee herself. Therefore, according to John, Jesus and Paul, the marriage between Harry and Meghan stand as an adulterous relationship, yet as many as 100,000 stood to watch the nuptials and giving their blessing, as with the TV and newspaper media.

Then came the news from Northern Ireland that a Christian baker has won a legal victory against two gay men who wanted a cake decorated with a motto advocating same-sex marriage. The two men ordered the cake and were ready to pay for it, but the baker refused to make it, based on his own Christian convictions. So the two men took the baker to Court, but lost the case, mainly due to the fact that same-sex marriage is still illegal in Northern Ireland, unlike the rest of the UK.

Organisations such as Christian Concern has endorsed the baker's legal victory with praise. As with John the Baptist's rebuke to Herod, their loss of the Court case did not bring these two gay men to repentance, but most likely had left them shimmering in bitterness and resentment. And Christian Concern will be celebrating their tenth birthday at the Emmanuel Centre next weekend - the same venue in London where Creation Ministries International held their Conference a month ago.

We were invited by my PhD friend Andrew to go with him to the celebration. At first, I declined the invitation. But when Andrew revealed to me that a connection was possible between declining morals and the rise of Darwinism, a chord was struck within and I had to re-think. I admit that I wasn't keen to push my wife's wheelchair into London all over again after such a short time, with all the transportation problems such a contraption would bring. But I eventually agreed to attend if Andrew was happy for me to go on my own with him. So off we shall go.

But what has brought me to say Not this time initially? Much to do with moral reformation but without the re-birth of the spirit, as the case of Herod and the two gay men shows. Here I try to use empathy here, to try and put myself in their shoes:-

During the Court case, it is repeated over and over again that the issue of the cake is against Christian principles. The Judge sides with the baker and I lose the case. What would I then be thinking? How would I feel? Certainly not warm towards the churches! And as for the faith itself, any credibility it might have had is taken away by the punitive attitude it has. And it's so grossly unfair. It's all very well for a straight preacher, happily married with two children, to stand in front of the pulpit and declare how wicked and evil same-sex relationships are. But he wasn't born that way. And to say that homosexuality is a mere mental condition borne out of choice...well, that's an insult in itself. Why is it then that a vast majority of gays would have preferred to be heterosexual, marry and have children? And why choose to bear the rejection and hostility from mainstream society? Furthermore, why is there a frightening level of suicides among us gays, way above those committed by straights? And that despite that gays consist only 4% of the population?

And my view of God? A punitive monster in the sky who is obsessed with hellfire, and the certainty that all gays will go there. The churches are no better. Nothing more than a house of constant condemnation. And here is the crunch. I can't help being the way I am. For example, I could walk along a street or at a shopping mall. I could be in the office or even a factory shop floor. Or, heaven forbid, I could even be in church. I catch sight of a decent, handsome man. I quickly look away but it's already too late. My heart beats rapidly, nerves cause my muscles to tighten, libido sets in. The trouble is, there is also a higher level of embarrassment if ever he would find out how I felt, or anyone else in the room. Choice? Rather, I'm bound for eternal condemnation, in chains from which I cannot break free. After all, with such a divine monster in the sky - if he exists - how could I possibly turn to him for mercy?

And so that's how the churches and society as a whole would perceive a gay person. I think there is an element of truth in reports written by psychiatrists and psychologists that homosexuals have the least happiness ratio in any society. Not so much because the sexual experience can be so unpleasant, but more likely the feeling of fear of rejection which can include verbal and physical harm.

Although there are churches and para-church organisations such as Christian Concern which can be quite heavy when they come to LGTB issues, it does look to me that they are far from true moral reformation. I can be wrong of course. They testify of God working through them. However, real repentance without regret is a grace which can only come through conversion and regeneration by faith in Jesus, the crucified, buried and Resurrected Christ. Conversion to Jesus Christ as Saviour is the only answer.

And this especially when considering these other issues: Have you ever looked at another person and harboured a secret lust? Then you are an adulterer. Do you have a superior attitude towards another person of inferior status? Are you snobbish? Or hold racist views? Then you are a murderer. Have you ever manipulated your tax return with dishonest intent? Then you are a thief. Have you ever rebelled against your parents? Or shown hostility towards them? Then you have dishonoured them. And in frustration, you shout, Oh for Christ's sake!? Or Jesus Christ Almighty!? Then you are a blasphemer. And even told a white lie? Then you are deceitful. The fact is, where sexuality is concerned, we are all deviants. as the Scriptures says:

There is no one who is righteous, no, not even one.

Psalm 14:1-3, 53:1-3, also Romans 3:10-12.

The trouble with me is, I am no better than any other sinner. I'm just as bad. Therefore to attend a Christian organisation dealing with moral reform but with the lacking emphasis of a faith in Christ, then there are elements of hypocrisy. If ever there was one in deep need of moral reformation, then it is me, especially in my thoughts and motives. Without Christ, I'm lost and without hope. Yet by God's grace, I shall be going. Not to shout from the rooftops that homosexuality and same-sex marriage is wrong, but to learn further where all these worsening moral standards have a connection with Charles Darwin's evolutionary theory.