To Forgive is Good For Your Health.

My PhD-holder friend of mine, Andrew Milnthorpe, and I went for a walk into the beautiful South Hill Park, located just outside our rear garden gate. As we walked along, I said,

If throughout the whole of my life I had never seen a Bible, let alone ever reading one, nor had I ever heard the Gospel, but the only contact I ever had in that direction would be by means a typical English church...

"You still wouldn't know God," Andrew replied, cutting in without letting me finish.

I'll end up as an atheist, I concluded, finishing the sentence. But before you click off after reading such a negative statement, please read on, for once the bottom is reached, the only way to go is up.

It all reminds me of a jigsaw puzzle which was lent to me by a former customer. She had a stack of different puzzles all stashed away neatly in her cupboard, and she lent me several of them to help me pass the time of convalescence following a major cardiac procedure.

Among all the pieces of one particular jigsaw, there was one piece which kept turning up as I stirred through the rest in the construction of the picture. Finally, the 1,000-piece puzzle was complete, with every piece fitting together perfectly to make the overall image - except for that one piece, left remaining all by itself in the box.

However, this puzzle was one of the same series the owner had collected. That means that each of the original pictures was cut by the same factory machine, making all the pieces of each puzzle identical to each other. As such, the foreign piece would have fitted perfectly in place - except that the overall picture would have been spoiled, an odd colour right in the middle, defined by the foreign piece. 

When she gave me another puzzle, I have used all the pieces in the box, except that a hole in the middle of the picture would have spoiled the whole image. Fortunately, I had the foresight to leave the foreign piece in a safe place, and after retrieving it - voila! A complete picture with no colour oddity. 

The opening statement, negative as it might look, isn't from a mere philosophical preponderance or anything like that. Rather, this is borne out from personal experience, with the most shattering event occurring during February of 2005. But I'll come back to that shortly. 

Like any normal human, by joining a church (or a club or any other social meet) my instincts would be drawn to people of my own age range. The only snag was that it does look as if my unskilled or semi-skilled vocation, together with a failure record at school, along with the "ugly" fact that I had never seen the inside of a university, topped with a voice tone which seemed to convey a slow-thinker, like that foreign jigsaw piece, I was never able to blend in as well as I should - even if on a spiritual level I fitted into the church perfectly. 

Like in 1978 when a group of unmarried young people, all within my age range, decided to hire a boat for a week at the Norfolk Broads, a part of Eastern England which is very flat and crossed with canals. When I asked whether I could join them along with paying my share, I was told a resounding NO. Crushed in spirit, I made my way to a travel agent and booked a month's return flight to New York instead (I already had the multiple-entry US visa stamped in my passport from the previous year.) But that was not the point.

Rather, the point is the feeling of rejection. Rejected not because I didn't fit into the church. I fitted in well. No, the rejection came for having the wrong colours. For me, this was a psychological disaster which changed my perception of English churches forever. Yet I remained. Especially after returning from America, I was able to forgive them.

What was it about me which compelled them to reject me? And so I kept asking myself. Surely it couldn't have been just my background. Indeed, they were all graduates, and I wasn't one. It must be something more, but at the time I couldn't put my finger on it.

Then there was 1994. That was the year I offered myself to be a volunteer at a Christian Conference Centre, owned by the organisation Israel Trust of Anglican Churches, which also serves as a hotel. I wanted to spend a year volunteering there (I wasn't allowed to use the word work - to mean earning a taxable income - to Israel Immigration.) Whilst there, there was the weekly meeting of all "vollies" with the full-time staff members which makes up the management team.

By then, I have already felt the pangs of rejection by other vollies, and even by a couple of staff members. But at that morning meeting, I made a suggestion that we men should do the heavier maintenance work whilst the women were better with the domestics. Actually, the Director knew that I was right, and began to put my idea into practice, at least partially, so not to be too obvious.

The hatred, especially from the females, became almost unbearable. At the same time, there was with us, one tall and exceptionally good-looking graduate who was adored by the same women as well as by the other men. And going by their daily chatter within earshot, graduation was high on their agenda. A person's worth, especially a male, was evaluated by his level of education. And they made that quite clear. After just two months out of the twelve, I was dismissed from Stella Carmel C.C.C. by management after a stream of protests and complaints from the other vollies, but instead of being escorted directly to the airport as with all offenders, I was free to board a bus at Haifa for Jerusalem where I spent a whole month holed up in a secular backpacker's hostel, where I was much happier!

It was just two days before boarding the flight back to England from Tel Aviv Airport when I was standing on the summit of the Mount of Olives, looking over the beautiful and historic city of Jerusalem, when quite clearly, I felt God speaking to me. There and then he opened a door for another trip to the USA to take place in 1995, take-off from London Heathrow to New York exactly a year to the day later. And so it happened. And the spiritual therapy behind the Transatlantic trip? To forgive all those back in Israel for what they had done to me.

Alex, 18 weeks pregnant, at Stella Carmel, taken Oct 2000.

But the biggest and the most challenging bid to forgive was to a social worker I'll just name Wendy, whose career was already under threat by her supervisor. By then, up to February 2005, we were a family of four - two daughters, my wife and me. It was true that I found communicating with my daughters difficult at times, but that didn't excuse Wendy for being a sadistic bully in our own home, especially to Alex. One lunchtime, after further criticising my wife, I ordered her out of the house with a steely tone of voice. Two days later, under Wendy's orders and endorsed by the County Court, at three in the morning, a couple of police officers entered our house, rushed upstairs and took away our sleeping daughters, leaving my wife screaming hysterically. Our daughters were to be eventually adopted, with their surname changed to that of the new parents and their address kept secret from us. At least news of Wendy's dismissal from her post gave a very small crumb of comfort.

But it took months and months for my rage against her to cool. Until then, to forgive such a self-confessed atheist was beyond my capability. And Alex's too. I'm convinced that this deep resentment against this highly educated graduate and professional was directly connected to Alex's poor state of health, both with a neurotic disorder which has confined her to a wheelchair and with cancer, together with my own need for heart surgery.

It's known in the medical world that non-invasive diseases such as Arthritis, Colitis, Ulcers, Arteriosclerosis, Coronary Thrombosis, Ceberal Apoplexy, Psyconeurosis, Obesity and Diabetes, Back Pain, Muscle Pain, Headache, Heart Attack, Cancer, Toxic Goiter, and many more, are caused by negative emotions including fear, anger and unforgiveness.*

As one sermon delivered during Band of Brothers Christian men's meeting held one Saturday morning at the Kerith Centre, you forgive someone for your sake, and not for the offender's sake. One prime example is Wendy. She left us in a very bad state with us fuming in rage. This lasted for months. My lust for vengeance just could not be quelled, harbouring murderous visions in my head, and that despite that after her dismissal, she disappeared, never to be seen again. Yet my anger refuses to go away, and that I think this was because she got away very lightly and knowing that her vast education will land her another office job straight away. And so my rage continued until I thought about forgiveness and asked God how I can go about it.

That's where the Band of Brothers preach comes in. It was there when I felt God speaking to me, clearing up a confusion that to forgive someone, the offender must be present to receive the forgiveness. How untrue that is! The offender may not want forgiveness nor care about it. Yet I must forgive her, even in her absence, for my health's sake. And so I have, no longer allowing her nastiness to get the better of me.

But this still leaves me one issue going back long before days of Wendy. Why such rejection at Stella Carmel C.C.C. and further back in time at the old Baptist church? It was during our Parental Assessment course which followed the loss of our daughters which brought what I believe was the answer. According to a psychologist we both have Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism. Nowadays the term Asperger's is no longer used in the medical field, but Autism Spectrum, with us being on the thin end which does not affect our IQ.

But it does cause difficulty in communication and often obsessive interest in one or two particular topics. And it can also cause a sufferer difficulty in finding friends. Or at least that what they say. Therefore it could be said that all the rejection felt among Christians was down to having Asperger's. It looks as if the round peg fits the round hole until I came across one problem.

That is Andrew Milnthorpe, my intelligent friend who holds a PhD and who also has Asperger's. Yet, when he announced his graduation as a doctor on Facebook, many congratulated him. These including congratulations from the very same people who sidestepped me, refusing me to go with them on the boat trip and also refusing to pair with me on the Facebook friendship panel. With less than 140 friends I have, Andrew currently has 611. In short, if all those who think lowly of me and even patronise at the first opportunity due to having Asperger's, then why is Andrew, who also has Asperger's, so far more popular among them? Could it be - heaven forbid - could it be that Andrew is far higher educated? Come on! Did Jesus and his apostles really endorse this form of favouritism?

Or another answer could be highlighted by a BBC documentary we both watched earlier in the week, Ian Hislop's Stiff Upper Lip. Suddenly everything seems to fall into place! Andrew is better at controlling his emotions than I am. It's all about being British.

And that is so tragic! Should favouritism be allowed to exist and to flourish as a means of promoting Britishness in a church environment? No wonder. Had it not been for the grace of God, or that I haven't gotten a Bible immediately after conversion and began to read it, had it not been the presence of the Holy Spirit within, who knows, I might have walked away from such an environment as an atheist.

But to finish off, I have a genuine love for all those at my home church, Ascot Life. And how I long for this lockdown to end so we can all meet together again. It's something to look forward to.

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*S. I. McMillen MD, None Of These Diseases, 1980, Lakeland Publishers (UK) 

A Punch Averted

It was one evening last week when the staff at a curry restaurant were preparing to receive 27 men for an evening of fellowship over food. Yes, that number of males, many married, some still single, all either regular attendees of a church which meets at Ascot, or having some associations with it. When I walked in with three other people, the first table was fully taken except for just one seat, while the other table was still unoccupied bar just two people.  The occupant next to the vacant seat was one I shall call Trevor. We had been at odds with each other for many months, and I suspect that his feelings towards me slowly metamorphosed from the level of disagreement to downright hatred. I thought that sitting next to him in such an informal social environment may help us both change direction which would ultimately lead to a more positive relationship between us.

While I hesitated slightly, he turned and giving me a fierce look, ordered me not to sit next to him. And this was in front of everyone else at the table, who were all busy in conversation, possibly to blot out what was a potentially explosive situation in the restaurant, which would have had us all thrown out by the staff. Fortunately, I was also standing next to the one of just two occupants at the other table, and I politely asked him if he would kindly occupy the one remaining seat. He obliged, and with the one man between Trevor and myself, the situation was defused, just as more arrived to fill the seats around the table I was occupying.

The situation was defused but not my emotions. I was full of rage, and I wanted to floor him with a single punch, despite that he is taller than I am. There was something which Trevor may not have been aware of. Since I came out of hospital after a major cardiac procedure, I had at first attended a course of rehabilitation exercises at Windsor, twice a week. This included bicep curls using a pair of free weights. After the course was over, I began to attend gym on a weekly basis, and among other cardiac-benefitting exercises, I intensified the bicep curls using heavier weights. Now I have been advised to up my gym attendance from one to twice a week, aiming for three times a week. As a result, I began to grow strong again, enough to believe that I could floor this arrogant Englishman with a single blow.

As I pondered over the issue, I was imagining my enjoyment of the sudden shot to power had he went down. Very self-satisfying, knowing that my opponent was brought down a peg or two and taught a lesson - in front of a shocked audience to boot. My hands were trembling as all sorts of thoughts passing through and emotions felt. But after the hors d'oeuvre was served and I began to tuck in, I was also praying in my spirit, confessing my anger and admitting in my heart that all these things were ungodly. Almost immediately I felt my anger melt away, and I was able to converse as normal as if nothing had happened.

My opponent I knew for many years. I recall the one Sunday in the early 1990's when he showed up in church with his wife and two young, pre-adolescent sons. Trevor and I became friends. I have never forgotten the after-service lunch when he invited me, back then as a bachelor, to his home for dinner. After this, we agreed to a general knowledge board game, in which I came out as the winner. After this, while the parents had to engage in domestic business, the two boys and I contributed to a jigsaw puzzle, after which I was commended by their mother.

There were two occasions when this fellow had helped me out. The first was when I was at house-group with him. I was going through a patch of financial difficulty, and he gave me, as a gift rather than a loan, a sum of money to help tide me over. Then came the evening of March 2004 when my second daughter was about to be born. After spending two days and a night with my wife in hospital, that evening I decided to return home to spend the night in my own bed. By 11 O'clock pm I was just getting into bed when the 'phone rang. It was from the labour ward, announcing that my daughter was minutes away from birth. In panic I phoned Trevor and in next to no time he was at my front door, and together we were on our way to the hospital in his car with his wife at the front passenger seat. Upon arrival, all three of us made a quick prayer, then I dashed alone into the building and ran up several flights of stairs - and entered the ward just minutes before the actual birth. Phew! Thanks, mate.

This was also the era when he would collect me for an evening out to the pub. Week by week we sat across table, drink in hand and into deep discussions. It was during these pub visits when disagreements in theological issues began to emerge. I was, and am, an advocate of Eternal Security of the Believer, or Once Saved Always Saved, while he in turn believed that a believer's salvation can be lost if he becomes unfaithful. Disagreements in other topics also emerged, but this was the main one.

Then how could it go so wrong? Surely not over a theological disagreement?

When I contributed to them on construction of the jigsaw puzzle, I tended to show affection towards the two boys on what I thought was on equal measure. I now admit that there were times that I went over the top, but neither complained - not to me at least. This keeping of the British stiff upper lip by these two young men allowed me to go blindly along in the ignorance of what was really happening. It was years later, after they had both graduated at university, that I had a glimpse of a video that one of them had made and posted online, which has caused me to ask questions. The occultic flavour of the video was so sickening that I had to click it off about a third of the way through. Did one of Trevor's sons depart from the faith, and if so, am I blamed for this?

For a father who believes that salvation can be lost through unfaithfulness, this must be devastating! Furthermore, according to him, it would be me who would receive this edict from Jesus Christ himself:

But if anyone who causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Matthew 18:6. Also Mark 9:42, Luke 17:12.

That the same statement is repeated in three of the four Gospels shows its significance. All this father had to do was link these verses with 2 John:9-11:

Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work.

This is only my own theory about Trevor and his hostility at the restaurant, but it is based on my own experiences with him in the past. On the other hand, both of his sons may be well within the faith and attend their churches regularly. If that is the case, and I hope this turns out to be true, then his present hatred for me remains a mystery. Yet, to look back at 2 John:9-11, the apostle tells us who these false teachers were. They were not the ones who hug other men a little too much. Rather, they were the ones who deny with intent that Jesus came in the flesh. In other words, to them, Jesus was not the Christ. Yes, he was crucified, but as an imposter. He did not atone for our sins, neither did he rise physically from the dead. This leaves salvation only to be attained by the perfect keeping of the Law of Moses. These deniers, John writes, are the antichrists already in the world, as the word antichrist means instead of Christ.

That a fight could have easily broke out at a restaurant among churchgoers shows that we all fall short on what a believer should be like, and that we still have a long way to go in our spiritual lives. But this is nothing new. The New Testament is pretty straightforward in its honesty in regarding churches. Paul writes the the church in Corinth that they were actually bickering among themselves over which leader to follow - and threatening to split four ways, while at the same time bringing lawsuits to unbelieving magistrates, while practicing fornication with prostitutes! But the apostle also opens his letter with greetings to them as saints, sanctified in Christ and called to be holy - not by their own deeds, but by the presence of Christ through the Holy Spirit dwelling in them.

Then there is his letter to the churches in Galatia, who were turning from the grace of Jesus Christ to attaining life through obedience to Moses, particularly in male circumcision. Yet like with the Corinthians, his letter opens with a greeting along with acknowledgement that they are all saints, true believers in Jesus Christ, according to the will of the Father. God is sovereign, and no man - believer or unbeliever - can undo his works.

James also opens his letter with greetings "to the twelve tribes scattered across the nations" acknowledging that they are his brothers, and therefore referring to all Jewish believers in Jesus Christ. Yet he rebukes them of social class favouritism - a sin common among present English churches, faith without deeds, an unruly tongue, and then he asks the question:

What cause fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have because you don't ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

James 4:1-3.

The apostle were not addressing unbelievers but Jewish believers. They were accused of fighting with one another, right to the point of murder itself. Yet they were saints, called through the foreknowledge of God the Father and destined to be holy. Their lurid behaviour did not bring glory to God among unbelievers, which is the whole point of his letter. Yet they remained in the firm hand of God to salvation, just as Jesus promised to the Jews as recorded in John 10:29. In the Father's hand and in the hand of Christ you are a son of God forever!

With such a background there is hope for us. I thank the Lord that he has put a restraint on me at that restaurant. But as for my opponent, I have never disliked him, for even if he is enslaved to false doctrine, he is still a believer and a brother of mine in Christ. Just over a week earlier I spoke to his wife in church at her husband's absence, that I have never forgotten their kindness when driving me up late at night over twelve miles to the hospital. And on top of this I still care for the whole family. Did his son fall away from his faith? Perhaps he did, perhaps he didn't. I hope he hasn't fallen away. Unless otherwise told, I'll will never know for sure.

However, having known both sons since childhood, I firmly believe they are in Christ, whether they make occultic videos or not. For salvation is from the faith of Christ to the believer, whose body remains the home of the Holy Spirit, and not dependant on performance. Yes, I am aware that the Lord is very particular in the way we live as Christians, but if James' letter has anything to go by, it is always to manifest the Glory of God to the lost, that they too may believe and be saved.  

False doctrine - the idea that man must help God to save him by staying faithful or is in danger of losing his salvation - is a denial of the full Saviour-hood of Jesus Christ, practically making sinful man his own saviour, as well as a denial of God's Omniscience and Sovereignty. When I have a glance back at history - for example, the Dark Ages, the Spanish Inquisition, the brutality of bygone Popes, the high rate of adultery, fornication and prostitution among the clergy over the centuries, even accusations of paedophilia to this day, as well as pirate life and slavery in the 18th Century Caribbean romanticised by Disneyland, I could see the devastating result of both Catholicism and the teaching of probational salvation, which was already at work among the churches of Galatia during Paul's lifetime. It is a doctrine which I believe places a blockage from God's love manifested to a lost world.

Now that does carry a powerful punch. 

Moses Suffers Rejection

Moses was, and still is, regarded as one of the greatest men of God ever to walk this planet. Other than Jesus Christ of course. But as we shall see, both Moses and Jesus suffered rejection, not necessarily by strangers or foreigners, but by their own people.

Moses was born a Hebrew, a descendant of Jacob (Israel) during the days when his people were enslaved to the Egyptians, under the harsh rule of their king, or Pharaoh, who had already imposed a law throughout all the land that every male Hebrew child must be killed immediately after birth. The purpose of this was for the Egyptian men to intermarry with the Hebrew girls, and eventually having the nation of Israel, after two or three generations, to fully assimilate into becoming Egyptians, and on a long term basis, to destroy any chance of the promise of the coming Messiah.

The parents of baby Moses had already known that this child was chosen by God to lead the nation out of Egypt, into the promised land God had already promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He had two older siblings, sister Miriam, who was eight years old, and a brother Aaron, who was three. Moses' father was Amram and his mother was Jochebed (Exodus 6:20.)

Jochabed, the mother of Moses, had the child placed in a waterproof vessel and floated down the river Nile to escape Pharaoh's edict to have him killed. Already knowing his destiny as a future national leader, she sent her daughter Miriam to watch over her brother, knowing that the daughter of Pharaoh bathed at a certain spot at the river every morning at a particular time. Sure enough, the young princess spotted the vessel and the crying baby inside. Seeing that he was already circumcised, she identified the child as a Hebrew, and instead of slaying him as her father would have instructed, she sent Miriam to find someone who would wean the child in preparation for her adoption of him. The result that Jochabed, the baby's own mother, was paid by the Government to raise her own son, fully under the king's approval.

The first few years of Moses' life were spent in his own home, with Mum and Dad. They were also the most crucial years of his life. Going by the testimony of other Scriptures, young Moses sat on his mother's lap to be taught of his Hebrew origin, his people the children of Israel, and his future destiny as a leader and deliverer. By the time the adoption was due, which by then Moses was about five or six years old, he knew enough of who he was, and he also knew that his own people were slaves to the Egyptians, and how his own people, including his own father Amram, suffered cruel oppression under the might of the Egyptians.

The upbringing of Moses at home could be seen today as a model for Christian parenting. By instructing young children of the Christian faith, coupled with setting an example, the child's faith will most likely grow and develop into adulthood, as was the case with Moses. As a window cleaner, I have seen some of my clientele living in well-to-do middle class estates have their young looked after by Granny or a childminder rather than staying at home to instruct the child in the ways of God during their crucial years. In these cases, it is not merely trying to make ends meet and keep the house afloat. Rather it's the case of a young mother fulfilling her purpose of holding a university degree.

Moses was then adopted by Pharaoh's daughter, and he became an Egyptian prince, with all the amenities entitled to by members of Royalty. The life of this young Hebrew was a vivid contrast to those of his own brethren who slaved under the whip. According to the testimony of Stephen, Moses grew up learning all the wisdom of the Egyptians (Acts 7:22.) We have an idea on the wisdom Moses grew up under. Dr. McMillen, in his book, None of these Diseases, mentioned the Papyrus Ebers, a medical book written in Egypt around 1,552 BC. In it, one is advised the application of asses' dung and worm's blood for embedded splinters. If bitten by a poisonous snake, water poured over an idol was drank by the patient. Drugs for other diseases included lizard's blood, swine's teeth, putrid meat, animal fat, and faeces from various animals including humans. Also ointment made from a tooth of a donkey crushed in honey should be massaged into the scalp to preserve hair growth. The Papyrus Ebers, the medical book for all university students of the day became standard for Moses' education. However, do we see any of the Papyrus Ebers appear in any of the writings of Moses? Not at all. His faith in God had superseded his high level of education to the point that in not one instance do we read of a hair preparation consisting of the heel of an Abyssinian greyhound, date blossoms and asse's hoofs boiled in oil, anywhere between Genesis and Deuteronomy.

Hebrews 11:25 also tells us that Moses, while as a prince, did not partake in the fleeting pleasures of sin, but yearned for the welfare of his own people, and identified himself with them. The "fleeting pleasures of sin" does not mean a family day trip to Disneyland! Rather, the entertainments put on for Royalty including a harem of young beautiful women who danced erotically to inflame the sexual desire. The prince then had the right to escort the girl of his choice to his bedroom. Moses, instead preferred to be out and about to check on the welfare of his own people and help them as much as he could. Here we can see the instruction received as a young child from his mother bearing fruit. He saw himself as a Hebrew, not an Egyptian prince. He also knew of his destiny - that as a leader and deliverer of his people from slavery in Egypt.

Moses began to apply the promise of his destiny while he was forty years old. One day, he saw one of his brethren being beaten by an Egyptian guard. After looking around to see whether there were any other Egyptian about, and finding himself alone from the view of anyone, he killed the guard and buried him in the sand. The victim should have been highly thankful. Instead he began to gossip, probably with the intention to exalt Moses as a hero.

News began to spread, and by the next day the news of the murder spreading across the land was already a high possibility. Obviously, by the time Moses had set off on his rounds, the news had not yet arrived at the palace. But some time later, he came across two Hebrews fighting, and he tried to intervene. The one who was in the wrong turned round to Moses and cried out,
"Who made you ruler and judge over us? Have you come to kill me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?" (Exodus 2:14). So famous were these words, that Stephen repeated them in his discourse to the Jewish leaders (Acts 7:27.)

At this, Moses fled the country. It was easy to assume that the wrath of the king would give him cause for his flight. But in Hebrews 11:27 it says that by faith Moses left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. Not fearing the king's anger. So what was it that caused this prince to flee from Egypt? His resentment for the wicked betrayal against him made by his own brethren. Instead of rallying to him for leadership, as he was brought up to believe, he was turned in by his own people to be executed by Pharaoh for murdering the Egyptian guard. In short, Moses was rejected by those he loved and cared for. And like Jesus Christ himself, "his own received him not."

Moses' resentment over his rejection burned in his heart for the next forty years. During that time he mingled with the Midianites, and married a wife from them, whose name was Zipporah. The rejection had transformed him from a mighty Egyptian prince to a shepherd of sheep out in the desert. The same happened with Jesus Christ. When he was rejected by his own people, the Jews, who crucified him, after his resurrection he began to assemble a people for himself, mainly Gentiles, to be his bride. Just as Moses later returned to Egypt to deliver his own people from slavery, so likewise, Jesus Christ will one day return to rule over Israel on the throne of his father David.

So deep was his resentment, that at the right time God had to appear to him in a vision of a burning bush. This burning bush vision was no accident or coincidence. The bush was a thorn bush, one that would burn quite easily. Instead, the flames roared but the bush itself was never consumed. The bush was a symbol of the nation of Israel throughout its whole history - burning, burning, burning but never consumed. After thousands of years of cruel persecution, including the Holocaust, the Jews are still with us to this day. They will never go out of existence. And there are many unfulfilled prophesies about the future state of the Jews. As the bush was burning, but never consumed, so the Jews will continue to suffer, even today under the oppression of neighbouring Arab nations, yet their existence will be preserved. God never goes back on his promises.

Moses' reluctance to return to Egypt to stand in front of Pharaoh was not because he was afraid for his life. The previous king involved had long died and the murder most likely forgotten. Moses' refusal to return was borne out of resentment his rejection by his own people had brought about. Even with his older brother Aaron to act as his own spokesman, Moses' bitterness festered. And this can be proved by an almost intrusive passage of Scripture found in Exodus 4:24-26. Intrusive, because it was an interruption of the normal progress of events during his journey back to Egypt. Here, while Moses and his family were spending the night at an inn, God met Moses with the intention to kill him. Here we see God's patience with Moses just about exhausted, and he was about to be slain, so he would go to Paradise in waiting for his eternal redemption, which would take place at the Crucifixion.

The cause of this interruption of events was Moses' refusal to circumcise his son Gershom. This was not because he had forgotten or overlooked the Hebrew custom. It was a show of defiance, a refusal to identify himself or his son as a Hebrew. Despite his audience with the Almighty himself in a burning bush, his heart was still consumed by bitterness. Had not been for the quick action by his wife Zipporah, Moses would have been slain by God so that his soul would be redeemed.

I am aware that there are some preachers and church leaders who believe that salvation can be lost if one does not hold faithful to the end, or commits a grievous sin. One particular American church leader and author in Washington D.C. believes that King Solomon is in Hell for falling away from true worship of God and began turning to idols in his old age, without counting the faith Solomon had which resulted in the building of the Temple. Also according to this leader, even King David had a brush with eternal Hell when he committed adultery with Uriah's wife Bathsheba. And no doubt this same leader would have placed Moses in Hell had he been slain by God in the inn for not circumcising Gershom. I am sad by the spouting of such nonsense by recognised and well educated church leaders, authors and preachers! If such teaching was true, very few, if any would have made it to Heaven. And the few who did would have something to boast about, but not before God.

In this world our lives are not perfect, and we are still prone to sin, thus the necessity for God to save us and to keep us saved throughout our lives. This is known as Eternal Security of the Believer, and it is God's doing, not ours. When a person truly believes, he is eternally saved, even if there is an apparent cooling of his faith afterwards. And I have seen myself that those whose faith had cooled does not generally fall back into deliberate wickedness or take pleasure in pursuing sin. It was by faith that Moses as a prince looked out for the welfare of his people instead of seeking the treasures of Egypt or partaking in a fleeting pleasure of sin. It was by faith that David slew Goliath. And it was by faith that King Solomon took charge with the building of the Temple. And it is through faith that the righteousness of God is imputed on the believer. This had always been true throughout the Old Testament as well as the New.

Do you feel not that welcome by brethren in your church? Do you feel as if you were spat upon by members of your church after years of sacrificial service? Is that the thanks or appreciation you get after so much effort put in for their benefit? Perhaps you too have walked out of the church and are now living in a desert. You too may fester bitterness in your heart after what they have done to you.

I have been through all this. I know how it feels to be rejected by those who are your spiritual family. But the best course of action is to carry on loving and accepting them as they are. Impossible? With man that is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Moses eventually led the fledgling nation of Israel out of Egypt, and his name is written in the Hall of Fame as a man of faith. He eventually allowed the Holy Spirit to lead, and we ought to do the same.

It is the only way to overcome the bitter resentfulness that often comes with being rejected - especially from those we love the most.