Ho-Ho-Ho? Or Boo-Hoo-Hoo?

One Christmas Eve, alone in my second-floor bachelor apartment and just before settling down for the night, I placed a dish with a mince pie next to an open kitchen window. Ah! by the next morning I should see the pie gone and in its place, one or two gaudily-wrapped Christmas presents. But alas! 

When I rose to check whether St Nicholas has called and hadn't by mistake overlooked my residence, the window was still open, the pie was still in its dish, untouched, and there were no presents. For crying out loud, when would our all-red suited, white-bearded elderly gentleman learn that I had already flown my parent's nest some years earlier? Or does having central heating instead of an open coal fire poses problems? After all, I have yet to watch a letter to Santa lying on a cold empty grate suddenly fly up the chimney without any source of propulsion.

At least the tooth fairy was far more sharp-minded and right up-to-date. I recall as a boy staying with my aunt, quite a few miles from home, while Mum and Dad decided on a romantic break at the seaside resort of Folkstone. One of my milk teeth became loose and eventually dropped out of my mouth. In next to no time the tooth vanished, only to see a sixpence where the tooth was deliberately left. Either there were many tooth fairies or, like Santa, just the one, but on full alert when and where a tooth becomes available, even over a great distance geographically.

But despite my disappointment on that particular Christmas morning, I have been wondering, just how old Santa is supposed to be? If according to tradition, if he was around in AD 320, then he would now be more than 1,700 years old. Indeed, not bad for someone living in a cold climate and travelling only for a few hours once a year. But even as a child, as with all young children in the Western World, so it has never crossed my mind on how could a small sleigh carry enough presents to gift every child around the globe. Neither on how a reindeer, let alone a team of them, was able to fly at a tremendous speed over distances as far apart as Wellington in New Zealand and London, UK, and then as far west as Hawaii - all within a time frame of 24 hours without crossing the International Date Line. Aerodynamically, such a flight would be riddled with problems, not to mention both the anatomical and mechanical inadequacies involved. 

And yet, it happens every year. Santa Clause is coming to town once again! Time to put out the mince pie and leave the window open, since we don't have a fireplace!

And oh yes, this time, I will leave a note with the mince pie:-

Dear Father Christmas,

I have moved out of Mum's home over 45 years ago. I now live here. Please leave my presents just inside the open window and enjoy the mince pie I left for you. You'll be needing it for the rest of your journey. Stay safe. Many thanks.

Love, 

Frank. 

At present, I may consider the "reality" of Science, but as children, we never pondered on any of these "realistic" issues. We really believed that Santa Clause, or Father Christmas, existed, and all our toys and games which filled our oversized stockings came either from the sky or through the chimney. Oh! The excitement and the wonder of it all!

However, when the penny finally dropped - that our presents didn't fall from the sky or through the chimney, but instead, were bought beforehand by my parents from a local store - suddenly, all the magic had gone out of Christmas. Everything changed. After the change, the reality that the time has come for me to buy presents for other family members. And believe me, that was far from easy!

Not having any sons or nephews of my own, I had to resist the temptation to buy train sets, toy trucks and cars, or games such as checkers or chess, or even Ludo or Monopoly, for my two nieces. Apparently, they weren't into dolls (as far as I was aware) - therefore, deciding what to buy for them was an annual nightmare, that is, until they were old enough to receive and appreciate a card containing a gift voucher. Very un-Christmassy, I know, but a worse scenario of unwanted presents was avoided, along with my perception of seeing forced smiles after unwrapping. 

But going back to Father Christmas, it was my uncle, Dad's older brother, who sternly warned my mischievous nieces that unless they were good, they won't be getting any presents from Santa. It seems as if the air in the dining room was cut with a sharp knife. As I sat with them, I thought:

I would never talk that way if I ever have children of my own, nor allow him to come anywhere near them.

This was long before I met and married Alex. Rather, having already flown the nest, this happened while I called for a Sunday visit, and Dad's older brother and his wife were staying with them for a few days. 

A statement like that has made me wonder how a "conditional Christmas" would engender love and thankfulness in the hearts of either of my nieces. In fact, I could ask, if being good enough was the condition met to receive a present, then is this "present" really a free gift? Or is it due to good behaviour? 

I felt ill at ease, perceiving that there's something not quite right about this behaviour-dependency. And it bodes ill for Santa's character, too. It gives the impression that Father Christmas is all-knowing and with a hint of omnipresence, constantly watching and recording every detail of behaviour, and only give away presents if he's satisfied with the recipient's behaviour throughout the rest of the year. Uncle's definition of generosity does not engender any affection for this supposedly Ho-Ho-Ho gentleman.

It reminds me of a pre-Christmas 1934 hit, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, with which I'm more familiar with the Jackson 5 version of the song, released in 1970. It contains the words, He knows if you been bad or good, so be good, for goodness sake.

I could see that this "conditional Christmas" which my Uncle so sternly warned about did not impress either of my nieces, back then still in their pre-teens. It didn't impress me either. And I doubt if he had impressed my parents as well, who was also in the same room. 

This attitude is just the setup needed for me to think, So if that's how it is, Santa, then you can stuff your presents where the sun doesn't shine! As for the girls, to whom the threat was addressed, chances were that they both cringed in fear within, already wondering whether their day-to-day behaviour had earned enough merit to receive presents for Christmas.

Therefore, I can identify my Uncle's perception of Father Christmas' attitude with the God of Roman Catholicism, from whom I can only receive salvation if I stay faithful and loyal to the Church, and to live a holy life. If I sin, then I must confess to a priest and then do penance - a set of prayers and good and charitable works - assigned to me by the priest to regain my salvation. If however, I unexpectedly die with unconfessed sin, then entry into heaven will be denied, either temporary if my sin is slight but eternally if my sin is serious. This is salvation by works, and according to my experience, both within me and around me has shown that this is the most destructive doctrine ever invented.

Although I knew the words of ritualistic prayer by heart, this conditional salvation led me into atheism throughout my teenage years. It was simply easier to deny the existence of God than it was to try to satisfy a deity who was constantly listing my shortcomings to see if I'm worthy to be saved. Even then, salvation was something I would see as something well-deserved rather than as a free gift.

Back in the mid-seventies, I once knew a regular sauna user who was very loud and profane in his language - not the type I would see in church! An extrovert and life of the party, he was the one who dominated any group discussion in the sauna cabin, and I felt intimidated by his presence. One day I had the opportunity to be alone with him, and I asked him what he thought of Jesus Christ. He launched an angry tirade, saying that he was brought up as a Roman Catholic and he despises the faith. I knew where he was coming from. And he was not the only one. I have met and spoken to others who had the same opinion and attitude towards God and any form of organised religion.

All from the reality of a holy God and the awareness of sin, thus making it impossible to please God and win His approval. This is why lately I have been watching YouTube videos posted by atheists. Not to throw cold water on my own faith but to try to get to the bottom of their unbeliefs and their apparent hatred of God. And I feel that there is a general apathy towards God extending nationwide. This huge, unbridgeable gap between the holiness and purity of God and the awareness of dirtiness within our consciousnesses has indeed brought in this sense of hostility which isn't unlike my late Uncle's version of Father Christmas.

But Christmas isn't about St Nicholas, it's all about Jesus - the greatest free gift God could give to us! I'm one of the fortunate ones who had, several times, visited the traditional site of the birth of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem, therefore I may have that extra awareness of what this free gift means to me.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8.

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. 1 Timothy 1:15.

The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life. Romans 6:23.

Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ in a stable, a free gift God has given to everyone who believes. It's the greatest gift of all, it's free, and no work of any kind can earn it. Neither must I be good to receive it. There is no list made in heaven by God to see if I'm worthy to receive the gift. In fact, I'm totally unworthy. But God, who justifies the wicked, (Romans 4:5) - credits His own righteousness to me and to everyone else who believes, and thus the free gift of eternal life in the presence of God forever.

On behalf of Alex and me, we both wish you all a very merry Christmas and we wish you a more hopeful year ahead. God bless.